Friend Request(48)

‘He’s going to love it,’ said Sophie, and this time I didn’t bother to pretend I didn’t know who she was talking about.

Sophie went down the stairs ahead of me in a black Lycra dress so short you could practically see her knickers. I saw my dad’s jaw drop in what I hoped was shock; although with disgusted fascination I detected a hint of something else on his face. As Sophie reached the bottom of the stairs to reveal me in all my glory, my mum’s face was an uneasy mix of surprise, unwilling pride and something else, which could perhaps have been envy.

My dad recovered himself enough to play chauffeur (‘Your carriage awaits, ladies’), but I caught the worried look he shot my mum. I loved the fact that I was worrying them. I’d never felt any power over them before and it was intoxicating. They were frightened – of who I was becoming, of what I might do.

‘Take care, love,’ Dad said anxiously to me as he dropped us at the school gates.

‘Thanks so much, Mr Williams,’ purred Sophie as she ostentatiously unfolded her bare legs from the back seat, silver clutch bag in hand.

‘You’re welcome,’ said Dad, looking studiously ahead of him.

As he drove away, Sophie and I looked at each other. I laughed breathlessly and she took my hand. ‘Here we go!’

We tottered down the school drive towards the hall, where the music was already thumping. Mr Jenkins was standing behind a small table at the entrance welcoming people and wearing the most embarrassing shirt I’ve ever seen. He’d trimmed his beard and moustache and obviously thought he looked really cool.

‘Good evening, girls. Bags please.’ He looked Sophie up and down.

‘What?’ asked Sophie, her eyes swivelling towards me in panic.

‘Bags, girls,’ he repeated. ‘Put them on the table here and open them please.’

My heart began to thump so loudly I couldn’t believe Mr Jenkins wouldn’t hear it. I tried not to look at Sophie as I fumbled with the clasp of my tiny black shoulder bag, opening it to reveal a small sequined purse, a mirror and the plum lipstick. He gave it back and then nodded at Sophie, who slowly laid her silver clutch on the table, pressing my foot with hers as she did so. Mr Jenkins lifted the flap and poked a finger inside, shifting the contents about. His finger paused for a second and he reddened, before handing the bag back to her.

‘Have a good night, girls.’

We walked into the foyer and I turned to Sophie.

‘Where is it? Why were you kicking me like that?’ I hissed.

Sophie grinned and pulled down her dress at the front to reveal a small plastic bag of blue pills tucked inside her black lace bra.

‘I was just messing with you! You should have seen your face! Good job Mr Jenkins didn’t attempt a full body search, he was shocked enough at this!’ She plucked a condom from her bag and waved it at me. ‘Mind you, he’d love doing a full body search; he’s such a perv.’

I gave her a half-hearted shove in the arm, and we walked in and peered around the hall. It was only 7.30 so not yet dark outside, but they’d closed all the curtains and put the disco lights on which had produced a strange twilight effect. Neneh Cherry’s ‘Manchild’ was playing and nobody was dancing except Lorna Sixsmith and Katie Barr who are inexplicably obsessed with the song and know every word.

‘There’s Matt,’ Sophie said, hustling me over to the ‘bar’, which obviously was only serving fruit juice, coke or lemonade. Matt was surveying the room, effortlessly cool in suit trousers, white T-shirt and Converse trainers.

‘God, this is lame,’ he said to Sophie. ‘Are we really going to stay?’

‘Of course!’ said Sophie. ‘Anyway, don’t worry, I’ve got the supplies you and Sam sorted for me.’

She pulled down her dress again to show him the contents of her bra, although this time she did it a little slower in an attempt to tease him. I could tell how much he wanted not to look, not to give her the satisfaction, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

‘Look, are you sure about this?’ Matt turned to me, pulling his gaze from Sophie’s cleavage. ‘What if something goes wrong – really wrong, I mean?’

‘Oh, for God’s sake, don’t be such an old woman!’ Sophie said. ‘It’ll be fine – it’s only an E. We do them all the time, don’t we? Louise isn’t worried, are you?’ She turned to me impatiently.

‘No,’ I said untruthfully. In fact I was petrified, but I was keeping my fear, which was a small and solid thing, securely locked in the corner of my mind where I keep unpleasant truths.

‘Louise is the one who’s got to do it though,’ Matt persisted. ‘It’s easy for you to say.’ I was touched that he was willing to challenge Sophie on my behalf, despite his obvious attraction to her.

‘No, it’s OK,’ I said. ‘I want to do it.’ I couldn’t back out on Sophie again. She may have forgiven me for the tampon incident, but if I messed this up, she’d never speak to me again.

‘Right, so that’s settled. We’ll see you later, grandma.’ Sophie took my hand and hauled me off to talk to Claire and Joanne on the other side of the dance floor. As the conversation rose and fell, Sophie kept my hand in hers, squeezing it occasionally when one of them said something funny, or particularly dumb. She refused to let the other girls shut me out, deliberately including me in the conversation at every turn, and every time a doubt crept into my mind it was banished by the warm pressure of her fingers on mine. I fizzed inside with anticipation, with the pure joy of sharing a secret with Sophie that the other girls didn’t know.