Fight or Flight(77)

“Caleb, I’m always honest with you.”

He glowered at me and didn’t respond for what felt like ages. Then finally … “I was jealous. You’re right. I just … I wanted tae wipe any thought of that arsehole out of your head. It wasn’t anything more than that.”

“It was. It was supposed to be punishment sex. For making you feel more than you want to.”

“Jesus Christ, do you just say everything you’re thinking, Ava?”

I couldn’t tell if he was mad at my honesty or in awe of it. I think maybe a bit of both. “You can feel possessive of someone without it having to mean anything serious,” I answered, attempting to reassure us both. “We have a great sexual connection. It makes sense that we’d be covetous of it.”

He seemed to process this for a second, and then he leaned over me again, bracing himself above me. His mouth hovered over mine and he said softly, “I’m sorry I made you feel like you were being used. You’re the last person I want tae hurt, wee yin.”

Warmth flooded me, soothing my earlier fears. “Wee yin?”

“Aye, wee yin. Wee one.”

I bit my lip to stop a cheesy smile from taking over my face. “I like that better than ‘babe.’ ”

He kissed me in answer, a soft, sweet, gentle kiss filled with a quiet yearning that made my heart catch and words tumble out of my mouth before I could stop them as he pulled back. “Make love to me.”

Caleb’s gaze sharpened as his whole body locked above me with tension. “Ava—”

“It won’t mean that you love me or that I love you,” I whispered. “But I’m still a woman, Caleb. I just … I need to feel like you want me. I need to feel that you see me.”

This whole conversation, our entire interaction since I’d walked into his apartment, was breaking our unspoken rules, but I couldn’t help myself. If he ended things, he ended things, but at least I would know I hadn’t let myself be treated like a mere means of satisfaction.

“I do see you, wee yin,” he said, the words gruff, hoarse, as if discussing any kind of emotion was so rare the words came out all rusty from disuse. “I didn’t touch another woman back home and it wasn’t because there wasn’t an opportunity tae. I do see you.”

More than pleased by that response, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest, I sat up, forcing him back a little so I could whip my sweater off. My bra soon followed it to the floor and I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders to press my breasts to his hard naked chest. My kiss was fierce, yearning, and he immediately got swept up in my desire. His strong arms banded around me, crushing me against him, and we kissed and kissed until we were panting for breath.

When his mouth left mine, it was so he could kiss me all over. I felt his tender kisses on my chest, my breasts, trailing a path down my body, to my center. He kissed me there until I exploded in relief, and while I was coming down from my climax, he removed his jeans and rejoined me on the bed.

This time when he pressed inside it was a slow, thick glide as he returned his mouth to my mouth. We kissed and gasped against each other’s lips. I wrapped him up, my thighs pressed against his hips, my arms around his back, holding him to me.

In that moment this man was my entire world and the orgasm he gave me was world-shattering. He tensed, his groan filling my mouth, and I kissed him, capturing his release inside me in every way I could.

When he finally lifted his head and our eyes met, I saw something that chased the pleasure away.

I saw his fear.

And I hated it.

Lowering my gaze, I forced a smile. “Multiple orgasms. Someone is in fine form tonight,” I joked, trying to break the sudden tension.

I prepared myself for his cold withdrawal. Instead, he grinned and I knew he’d fought back the fear. We would be okay. We would find our way back to a safe place where it was just great sex between two friends who trusted each other.

We would.

We had to.

We were still lying in bed when we heard a male voice, remarkably similar to Caleb’s, call out, “I know you told me tae bugger off, but it started tae piss down out there and I’m bored!”

Caleb threw the duvet over me, hiding me, as he jumped out of bed to shut the bedroom door. “I’ll be out in a second!” he yelled back.

Amused, I watched as he hurried back into his jeans and threw my sweater and bra at me. “Your brother, I presume,” I said as I got out of bed and pulled my clothes on.

“Aye.” His eyes glazed over a little at the sight of my half-nakedness. “Where are your knickers and jeans?”

“Out there. Where you took them off.”

He didn’t seem as entertained by this as I was. “Stay here.”

“Oh, like I have every intention of wandering out there naked in front of your little brother.”

He scowled at the thought before turning his back on me to get a T-shirt out of his built-in wardrobe. When he opened the bedroom door, it was just enough so he could slip out and his brother wouldn’t be able to see in. Once it was closed, I tiptoed over to it, but I couldn’t make out their conversation, just the sound of their voices.

Then Caleb returned, the door forcing me back into the room. He handed me my jeans, underwear, and shoes, appearing almost grim faced.

“I take it he had something to say about these.” I tried not to snicker as I pulled on my clothes.