Fight or Flight(12)

“She died still thinking this was all her fault. It wasn’t all her fault. We were to blame too. But you couldn’t let it go, Ava. You couldn’t forgive her. Now you can live the rest of your life knowing I’ll never forgive you.”

I didn’t care if Nick would never forgive me. But I cared that I had never forgiven Gemma.

Once upon a time Gem had been the closest thing I had to a real family.

And just like that, memories I’d been trying to hold at bay flooded in …

This is going to be the greatest three days of our lives!” Gemma whooped, throwing her hands in the air as the wind whipped her shoulder-length dark hair behind her.

I threw my best friend a wide grin before turning my attention back to the road. Excitement filled me as I drove my blue convertible west down the I-10. It was the end of April, we had all but graduated from high school since the ceremony was just a few weeks away, and we were about to have our first real taste of freedom.

“Coachella 2006, baby!” Gem yelled again.

“Could you be any more excited?” I shouted over the sound of the car radio.

I felt her warm hazel eyes on my face. “Bree-Bree”—she called me by her childhood nickname for me—“this is the first day of our lives. For the last three years we’ve had to suffer under the authority of my parents at Coachella. Finally, we are eighteen, fully grown adults who can set up camp without my father complaining that the music is too loud while my mother whines about sleeping in a tent. Now, I love that they love me so much they would put up with going to a music festival for me every year. But I can’t say I’m not freaking excited that me and my best girl get to do Coachella on our own together.”

“I can’t believe your parents agreed to it.” And I couldn’t. My parents didn’t even flinch when I told them Gem and I had bought a parking spot at Coachella and were cutting school for two days to drive to California. We’d arrive that night, stay at a hotel, and then park up the next day, a Friday, in the spot we’d paid for. All by ourselves.

“They trust me.”

I snorted, thinking of all the crazy stuff Gem got up to behind her parents’ backs. The only reason they thought she was trustworthy was because I was there to make sure she was always okay. That was me. Miss Responsible.

“What?” She chuckled. “I’m trustworthy.”

“Well, of course your parents think that. They don’t know about Kade Moreno and his pickup truck three years ago.”

“Well, yeah. No parent should ever know how their kid lost her virginity.”

“Or that they lost it to the biggest manwhore in the entire state.”

“He was experienced.”

“Yeah, because he’s a manwhore.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just because I have crappy taste in boys does not mean I’m not trustworthy.”

“You took their Range Rover on a joyride to impress Styler James and let your mom take the blame for the dent you put in it.”

“Yeah, but I felt bad about that. Styler so wasn’t worth it.”

“And what about the time you challenged Pete Manning to a beer-chugging competition and Nick had to carry you out of there? We kept you hidden until you were sober and well enough to go home.”

“Are you, like, keeping a journal of all my misdemeanors?” Gem laughed. “You make me sound way more wild than I am.”

“You are wild.”

“Luckily I have you to always make sure I don’t go too far over the line.” She threw her arm around my shoulders and gave me an affectionate squeeze before releasing me.

The familiar citrusy smell of her shampoo tickled my nose and with it I was suddenly flooded by love and concern for my best friend. My whole life my best friends Gem and Nick had been more like family to me than my own. Especially Gem. She was the sister I never had. The one person I could turn to for everything. I could turn to Nick for a lot of things too, but he was my boyfriend. It was different.

I could tell Gem absolutely anything and she would never judge me. I had her love and her loyalty and she had mine in return, plus my overprotectiveness toward her. In a few short months we would be at college and it would be the first time since we were four years old that we’d be apart.

“I’ll be three hours away when we go to college,” I said. “I won’t be there for you then.”

Gem reached over to turn down the volume on the radio. “No. No worries, no melancholy. Not this weekend.” I saw her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll have Nick.”

It did make me feel slightly better knowing Nick would watch out for Gem. He was in his freshman year at Georgia State studying computer science. He played football and he was smart. Totally the whole package. Gem would be following him there to study law, which Nick and I both thought was hilarious because Gem was the biggest rule breaker we knew.

“I just can’t believe after this summer we won’t be together.” Tears clogged my throat anytime I thought about it too hard. “I should have chosen to do interior design at Georgia.”

“Okay, first off, we’ve already had that argument. And I won! Savannah is the better school for you. End of story. Two, let me repeat that there will be no sadness this weekend. This is Gem and Bree-Bree do Coachella! We have a tent, a case of beer you’re adorably nervous about having hidden in the trunk, and a weekend of Daft Punk, Metric, Massive Attack, and more to look forward to. And you know what makes it even more awesome? The fact that Coachella isn’t really your thing. It’s my thing. But you came so I can share something I love with you. So it makes it our thing. And we are not going to be sad at our thing.”