Fight or Flight(11)

I shouldn’t have engaged with him, but I, unlike him, did not lack a heart and I knew that the only reason he was talking right now was because he needed the distraction. He was just too much of a baby to admit he needed me to distract him. So I answered, infusing the annoyance he wanted from me in my answer. “I’m not stewing.”

“You’re stewing.”

“You don’t know me well enough to know if I’m stewing.”

He sighed. “Babe, no one would need tae know you tae know you’re stewing. Everything you’re feeling you wear on your face.”

“Not true. I bet you don’t know what I’m feeling right now.”

“You’re feeling murderous with a hint of sympathy.”

My lips parted in amazement at his intuitiveness.

He rolled his eyes. “Murderous, fine. But to hell with your sympathy.”

“You’re awful. You know that, right? Like, truly awful. Is there anyone in this world who doesn’t think that?”

“My entire family. Colleagues. Friends. The women I’ve had sex with.”

Heat bloomed in my cheeks at his bluntness and the imagery it brought to mind. “I think you’re probably delusional about the last one.”

“I dinnae think so.” His cold gaze drifted over me again, and then he abruptly looked away. “Uptight princesses just dinnae understand. They choose the wrong men who dinnae know how tae pleasure them and write sex off, thinking women who enjoy it are lying.”

That’s what he thought. “I’ve had good sex. Great sex.” It had been years ago and it was followed by heart-wrenching betrayal, but it had been great sex.

He stared at me, I think trying to discern if I was being sincere. “That’s surprising.”

Uncomfortable with the way his eyes bore through me, I decided it was definitely time for a subject change. “So this family of yours … do they know you’re obnoxiously rude?”

“Why would they? I’m nice tae them.”

“Oh, so you admit that you’re mean to me?”

“Maybe I am. Maybe I need tae be.”

That enigmatic answer infuriated me almost more than anything else he’d said. “What does that mean?”

The freeze in his eyes suddenly warmed. “It means”—his deep voice juddered a little as the plane bounced onto the runway—“I need you tae hate me.”

I screwed up my face. “What kind of bullcrap is that?”

His lips twitched as he studied me. “The kind that means you won’t be amenable tae sleeping with me.”

Genuine surprise locked me in place. “Excuse me?”

“You don’t want tae sleep with me, do you?”

“No,” I answered emphatically, because as much as I was unwillingly attracted to him, I really didn’t like him. More than that, I didn’t respect him.

I thought I saw a flicker of displeasure in his expression at my sincere reply. “Good,” he bit out, and looked away. I knew the moment he realized we’d landed because he turned back to me. His countenance softened just a little. It was a look that said the words he was apparently incapable of saying out loud.

I thought I might have imagined the silent thank you until he gave me a curt nod.

I nodded back.

Quite abruptly he snapped off his seat belt and got up as everyone else did. Maybe it was his appearance, but the other passengers seemed to move out of his way after he grabbed his laptop bag out of the overhead. He strode past them down the aisle to wait in the galley to be let off the plane first.

Without another word.

Without even looking back at me.

“So rude.”





Five


For the life of me, I couldn’t remember the last time a shower had felt so good. The water pounded down on my shoulders, easing the tension, and they automatically dropped from where they’d been hunched up around my neck. As much as I wanted to be back in Boston, I was happy to be out of Arizona. I usually found O’Hare intimidating because of its size and how busy it was, but right then I didn’t care. All I cared about was that I had made it to a hotel room, that the concierge had arranged to dry-clean a few of my outfits so I’d have something to wear down to dinner that evening, and that I’d finally sleep well miles away from my hometown.

Rather than get on a shuttle to some other hotel farther from the airport, I decided to stay at the hotel with an indoor walkway between it and the domestic terminals. The rooms boasted sound-resistant windows, I had a great view of the runway from the floor-to-ceiling window in the separate living room, and it meant I could sleep in a little longer before my flight in the morning.

As soon as I’d arrived at the hotel, I’d called Harper to let her know I’d landed and confessed to her how much my whole body had seemed to relax as soon as I’d stepped off that airplane. Just knowing I was out of Phoenix had a massive effect on my body. It was like King Kong had snatched me up, squeezing me tight in his whole fist from the moment I’d landed in Arizona, kept hold of me during my stay in Arcadia, and finally as soon as I knew for certain I was in Illinois, the big ape let me go to return from whence he came.

Nick’s face flashed across my mind. Grief-stricken. Confused. Angry.

It was followed by the accusatory expressions of all the people who used to be my friends.