Fifty Words for Rain(77)

“I’ll be damned if I accept pity from you,” he seethed. He moved forward in three steps and caught her in his arms. “Who has filled your head with this poison? Was it that whore Alice?”

“I have made up my own mind.”

“Impossible,” he taunted. “You have no mind of your own, that is why you are so delightful.”

She looked into his cold blue eyes without flinching. It amazed her how she could have ever been afraid of him, ever thought that she loved him, ever thought that he was anything like Akira.

“I don’t know what love is,” she told him. “But I know it is not this.”

He squeezed her shoulders. “I’m sorry if you think I hurt you. I never meant to.”

She offered up a small, sad smile. “I think you mean that. I really do.”

“Then—”

Nori pushed him away from her. “You’re leaving.”

Will flushed. “We’ll talk again in the morning.”

“You misunderstand. You’re leaving Japan. You’re going back to London and you are taking Alice with you. You are going to tell everyone that she’s been a model citizen and that she’d make a fine wife. That’s what you’re going to do. And you’re going to do it by the end of the month.”

He gaped at her. “And why on earth would I do that?”

Nori gestured towards the door. “Because I think your affection for my brother is genuine. And I would spare him from knowing the truth, ever. But you have to go. You have the world at your feet now with your music, you don’t need to be here. And you have to give Alice another chance to have a life.”

“I will not!” he raged. “I don’t take orders from you. You have no power here. You have no power anywhere. You exist only because of the pity of your betters. Nobody would believe a word from your mouth.”

“Akira-san would,” she said quietly. She held tight to her dignity and did not waver. “Alice would too. And perhaps the London papers. They seem to love a story.”

He cut his eyes at her. “Nobody would listen to you.”

“Maybe not,” she reasoned. “But they can’t stop me from speaking. And I can’t prevent what will happen to you if my brother ever finds out the truth. Or did he not tell you about our family?”

The color drained from his cheeks. He had the look of a cornered wolf on his face, finally outsmarted by the sheep. She realized how easy it must have been for him to manipulate her insecurities. She wore them on her sleeve, and he was nothing if not perceptive.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he rasped. “I . . .”

She shook her head. “I am sorry, Will. You . . . you were . . .” She hesitated. Even now, she didn’t hate him. “Thank you for everything you have taught me. I hope you find peace.”

He swallowed. “Don’t make me go back there,” he whimpered. “They’re all . . . None of them are anything like you.”

She smiled. “That’s hardly a tragedy.”

He gave her the most stricken look. “It’s more of one than you will ever know.”

The tragedy was that had he not been so richly indulged, so ensured of his own superiority from birth, he might not have turned out this way at all. But there was no way to know.

Nori held out her hand. “Goodbye, Will.”

“We have . . . we have some more time . . .”

“After tonight you will never speak to me again. You won’t try to catch me alone. This is the end of our game, William.”

He looked struck to the heart. “I don’t want it to end.”

“I know,” she said gently. “But this is what I need. So goodbye.”

He hesitated. He looked as if he wanted nothing more than to seize back control, as if he was wondering if he could get her to change her mind. Apparently the look on her face told him there was no hope.

“I really did want—” He broke off. “Oh, Nori.”

She said nothing. There was nothing else to say.

She watched him go, and when the door shut, she felt a small pang of sadness. But so much larger than that was the sense of soaring freedom.

She remembered, from so long ago, her favorite poem.


I feel this life is

Sorrowful and unbearable

Though I cannot flee away

Since I am not a bird



Nori crossed to the window and threw it open. The moon was half hidden by clouds, but it was still there.

Maybe I can be a bird.



Tokyo, Japan

October 1956

It was a chilly October morning by the time the Stafford cousins were finally ready to leave. After much pleading, and a begrudging endorsement from Will, Alice was at long last permitted to return home.

Nori and Akira saw them to the docks where the ocean liner was waiting to take them back to the West.

Alice cried buckets as she clung to Nori. Her makeup had already sloughed off.

“I wish you could come with me,” she sobbed.

“I’ll write to you every week,” Nori promised, stroking her friend’s silver-blonde hair. “And you must tell me all about the wonderful parties you go to and the pretty dresses you will wear. And when your father arranges your marriage to a handsome gentleman, I will want to know all about it.”