Fifty Words for Rain(71)

There were no secrets between them anymore. They spent their days together, and often they had the house to themselves.

Akira had finished secondary school with honors and was now an official member of the Tokyo Philharmonic, the youngest member at only twenty years old. He was relegated to third chair first violin, but he did not seem bothered. In his mind, this was only a stepping-stone to far greater things. Nori was desperately grateful that he had chosen a local posting and did everything she could to make Japan appealing to him. Namely, she tried not to annoy him very much.

Yuko had started to make overtures, routinely sending gifts of money and cards imploring Akira to return to Kyoto. He gave the money to Nori and burned the cards unopened.

He had their mother’s inheritance now. He would never need money again.

Will was constantly traveling and was sometimes away for weeks or even months. A pity he was here today. He’d cut short a stay in Brussels to attend. For her benefit entirely, he claimed.

Nori had her doubts.

Without his disapproving gaze, Alice had flourished, and Nori could clearly see the passionate, flighty girl she had once been. She had been careful to avoid any hint of scandal, not that anyone was likely to notice in this far-flung corner of the world. She had never bothered to learn Japanese, but Nori was happy to translate for her on their frequent shopping trips.

Nori slept in Alice’s bed a few nights a week, and they would stay up late reading through Seiko’s old diaries.

Akira turned to speak to Ayame, and Alice sneezed.

In that instant, Will’s eyes met hers.

No secrets.

Except for last night. Except for what happened two years ago and now happened nearly every month. Except for the way she tortured herself daily, agonizing over the insane mix of feelings that fought for dominance inside her.

Nori excused herself from the table and retreated to the bathroom off the kitchen. She caught a glimpse of her reflection and winced.

There was nothing visibly wrong with her. In fact, she looked rather well today. There was no sign of her sleepless nights.

She went to great lengths to conceal the truth from Akira. She didn’t want him to see.

But she could not help but be somewhat hurt that he had not.

The door opened and Will slipped inside. Without saying a word, he handed her his glass of plum wine.

“Thank you.”

He chuckled. “You could have chosen a better place to hide.”

She shrugged. There was no hiding. She was Alice’s friend, Will’s possession, and Akira’s ever-doting sister. She often felt that she was the only thing holding the entire ridiculous charade together. This makeshift family of exiles would collapse into nothing without her.

She downed the wine in one gulp. It burned the back of her throat, but the anxious knot in her belly began to loosen.

Will smirked. “Happy birthday, my love.”

She closed her eyes. Not for the first time, she felt an unworthy surge of affection for him. So much so that she tolerated his three a.m. visits to her bedroom in silence. But still, she had never been able to shake the feeling that something was deeply wrong. It was like a chill that never left her.

“You look tired,” he said, his voice tinged with sympathy.

“I am tired.”

He frowned and, without asking, moved to lift up the hem of her dress. She knew that he was eyeing the bright purple bruises on her skin.

“I told you to stop pinching yourself.”

Nori shrugged again. “And I told you I’d try.”

Will tsked. “I’m telling Akira. I warned you twice.”

She felt a ripple of irritation. Nori met his gaze full on. “Since we are in the business of telling secrets, perhaps I should speak to him too.”

He did not falter. “Akira adores me,” he said smugly. “He would never hear a word against me, kitten. You know that.”

Nori hesitated. “He . . . I . . . me too.”

Will’s eyes went dark. “Are you sure of that?”

The words died on her tongue, and she tasted ash. She was sure. But then he looked at her, far more confident than she could ever be, and she was laid bare. Like mercury, he slipped through the cracks of her certainty and found the poison seed of doubt.

He smiled at her, and his eyes lit up again. It was like a switch flipped on and off with him, all the time. It made her dizzy.

He took her hands and kissed them. “Don’t fret, little love. Don’t fret. I would never betray your secrets.” He played his trump card. “I love you, remember?”

She folded in on herself. She simply had no more fight left. It was so much easier to believe it.

“You do?”

“Of course I do,” he soothed. “That is why you must trust me. Only me. Always.”



* * *





It was another week before Nori could get a moment to herself. Will had left for a piano competition in Prague, and Alice was occupied writing desperate letters to London begging for forgiveness. Now that she was eighteen, she needed to return to London and court marriage prospects. Otherwise she would have no future at all.

Akira was home, for once, but he was locked in his room. All he said was that he was composing something. He would not say what, but whatever it was, it was consuming him. The trays of food she made for him were sent back uneaten.