Fear the Wicked (Illusions Series Book 2)(90)

I accepted it now, knew that to be human was to make mistakes, and that to find divinity, we only needed to believe that no matter what, we were perfect in both our light and our darkness.

A door popped open behind me, but I couldn’t turn my head to look at it. I knew who had walked through and I wasn’t sure how I would react to stare into that face.

The shuffle of shoes against the floor was punctuated by the hard thump of a cane. It felt like hours before a fourth body sat down in the seat beside me. Taking a breath, I turned and faced a man who was identical to the one who’d abused me.

It wasn’t fear that clogged my throat to look at him, it was something else.

The reporter conducting the interview cleared his throat and said, “Thank you, Jacob, for agreeing to be here. I wasn’t positive you’d actually show.”

Although he was being spoken to, Jacob didn’t release my stare. He simply nodded his head and continued looking at me with some unspoken thought rolling behind his blue eyes. I, too, was caught in a state of shock, having to fight to pull my face away and return my attention to the reporter.

I won’t bore you with all the details of the interview. You know what happened by now, but what I will tell you is that something came to life inside me on that stage, something I doubted could ever exist again without driving a spike of pure panic through my battered heart.

We were questioned about how each of us had been affected by Jericho Hayle. Jacob answered the questions regarding Jericho’s past, about the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of his father and other men, about his intention to bring down the Church through the use of that small rural parish. He also filled in the parts about what happened in the compound when he’d been saved. Barely surviving the wounds inflicting, Jacob had been pulled from the compound before it caught fire. But due to the nails that had been driven through his feet, he would never walk unassisted again. Tears burst in my eyes when he admitted how even when Elijah hammered the nails in his feet, Jacob had only repeated that he loved him. And my heart warmed toward a man who admitted that despite what his brother had done, he’d still found it in his heart to forgive him.

I filled in the parts about life inside a cult, about the daily activities and the sermons that had been used to confuse us all.

While Molly spoke about her experiences within the small town, I dared a peek at Jacob who sat at my side, his head turning my direction as if he could feel my eyes studying him.

Warmth burst inside me that I hadn’t felt for a long time. It caused my hands to shake and my lips to part open as I struggled to drag in a deep breath. His eyebrows drew together in concern, but he didn’t speak or say anything to me about my reaction.

I remembered him in that instant, remembered the time I’d spent with him in the parish believing that he was my husband. He had been kind to me in that week, but I was still left with so many questions.

The interview concluded after several hours and we all got up from our seats to go our separate ways. But before I could take a step toward the room where I knew my brother was waiting, I felt a hand touch my shoulder, and heard a familiar voice asking me to wait.

Turning, I stared back at Jacob, my face a blank mask because I didn’t know what I was feeling.

His eyes searched mine before he finally admitted why he’d stopped me from leaving.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said, his voice deep and soft. “For lying to you. For taking advantage when you didn’t even know your own name.”

“I forgive you,” I answered, and I meant it.

His smile stretched his face. Even though he looked identical to Elijah, somehow I felt that he was different. I thought it would hurt to see him again, thought it would throw me back into the mindframe of a helpless victim. But, in truth, seeing him only made me feel stronger. I’d survived a man who was truly wicked – one who’d hidden behind a mask of religion to hurt the people around him.

Nodding his head, Jacob began to walk away, but I couldn’t let him. It was my turn to reach out and stop him in his path. Twisting around, he used the cane to slowly spin his body back to face me.

“I have a question,” I said, a smile lighting my face.

His eyebrow arched, his eyes sparkling beneath the overhead lighting. “You have my attention.”

It was as if none of the past had happened, like we were two strangers meeting again for the first time.

“Did you ever go back to the priesthood? Have you given your life back to the Church?”

Sorrow filled his eyes, his mouth pulling taut as he dragged in a deep breath. Finally blowing it out, he laughed softly and answered, “No. There’s too much darkness inside of me still. But that doesn’t mean I’ve lost faith.”

Laughing at his answer, I reached out to run my fingers down his cheek. “Perhaps we can explore that darkness together. Now that I’m healed.”

His expression betrayed his shock, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead as his eyes widened and then narrowed again. “You can’t be serious.”

What can I say? In all the therapy through the year since I’d left the family, there was still a large part of me that hadn’t changed. I wanted to explore that part regardless of what anybody would say about it.

“I’m serious,” I whispered, laughing again to see his face.

A smile split his lips when he answered, “We should do this the proper way.”