Fear the Wicked (Illusions Series Book 2)(89)
It was hard to hear about what had been done to Elijah when he was a child, that he had turned around and hurt others because he wanted to bring to light the abuses that had been committed against him and covered up. And despite the Church not having anything to do with the injustice that had plagued the small Appalachian town, it still coughed up money to heal the victims that had survived.
I was one of those victims, my image and name spread across the media as a survival story and a warning. It didn’t make me happy to become the poster child for what can happen when you are raised as a member of a cult.
Joshua sat back in his seat, but still kept his eyes on me, concern shadowing his gaze as he let out a loud sigh. “I don’t think you should do this. I don’t think it will be good for you, Sedra. You’ve worked so hard to leave the past behind you, seeing him will only remind you of what happened. It’ll only hurt you in the end.”
Smiling again, I reached out to stroke my fingers down my brother’s cheek. In truth, I was terrified of what I would think or feel to see him again. But I agreed to take part in this conference if it meant I could prevent this type of thing from happening again. The media had made me a victim in their stories, and now I was ready to take that image and transform it into what it should have been.
I wasn’t a victim, I was a survivor of every horrible cruelty that could be imagined.
“It wasn’t his fault,” I argued, shaking my head when Joshua’s expression twisted in disagreement.
Nothing would convince my stubborn brother.
It had been religion that almost destroyed me, and faith that had helped me heal. The hospital to which I’d been taken was run by a non-profit foundation that believed in faith healing as well as medicine. I’d learned that all the lessons Elijah had forced down our throats were twisted and construed in order to keep us afraid and alone. But in the year I’d spent learning the truth of the faith to which I’d always belonged, I’d seen the beauty in its message of love.
We weren’t to condemn others so easily.
We weren’t to be violent and wish for their death.
We were intended to find hope in the darkest places and to help others who also were lost.
And although the message had been perverted by a man who’d used it for pure evil, we were to forgive the acts committed against us so that, in the end, we could forgive ourselves.
I wanted to forgive, but my brother wasn’t so sure. His stubbornness made me smile.
“I’m doing this, and if I don’t get up now, I’m going to be late. You’re welcome to come with me.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, but I can’t help worrying about you. Are you sure, Sedra? Are you positive you want to do this?”
“I’m sure,” I said one last time before standing from my seat to walk to the doorway leading to the interview room. Casting one backwards glance at my brother, I smiled sweetly. Opening the door, I blinked against the harsh lights that illuminated the grouping of chairs that were arranged to be a small seating area for the interview to be conducted.
On furtive steps, I crossed the distance between the door and the seating area to take my seat. A few minutes later, a man walked through a door on the opposite side of the room, a pen tucked behind his ear and a notepad in hand. Laughing to myself, I thought of how he reminded me of the doctors that had spent countless hours convincing me that all the beliefs inside my head were only illusions put there by a madman.
There had been so many that it took months for me to return to using my own name.
Taking a seat in front of me, the man pulled the pen from behind his ear and scratched out a few lines on the pad in his lap. He smiled at me finally and said, “It’ll be just a few minutes. We’re waiting on the last of the attendees.” He leaned forward and offered his hand. “Thank you for agreeing to this. I think it will be helpful for people to understand what happened to you. How something like that can happen in this day and age.”
I nodded, my throat suddenly swollen with fear and indecision. With no choice but to push past it, I leaned back in my seat and waited.
Eventually another woman walked through the door that I didn’t recognize. Petite and with pretty blond hair, she took a seat next to me. Turning, she offered me her hand. “I’m not sure if you remember me. My name is Molly Harrison. We only met a few times at the parish.”
Shaking her hands, I tried not to stare at the scars crossing her face. Looking down, I noticed those same scars were white lines across the tops of her hands. Although, I didn’t remember her from my time spent with Elijah, I did recognize Richard’s handiwork. Thankfully, he had been shot dead when the police raided the compound.
My heart hammered in my chest as we waited for the last guest, the minutes dragging on until I felt like I would scream in frustration. I was so scared, but it wasn’t something I would admit to Joshua before coming into this room. He would have never allowed me to take part in this interview if I had.
But I needed to face my demons, the true ones and not the ones Elijah had sworn were consuming me. In the end, we all have something inside of us that can be considered evil or tainted, but it’s what we decide to do with that part that matters.
Elijah had taught me to hate my own humanity, had convinced me that the dark parts of myself were only a symptom of the evil he believed plagued the world. But I knew now that what I had been taught was just another illusion, one that had led me further into darkness because I couldn’t accept it existed.