Fallen Woman(45)

“It’s early enough you could still get her in today.” My neighbor gave me a weak smile, but I couldn’t admit in front of Emmy that I couldn’t pay for it and was still paying for the treatment from the last coinfection.

“If the symptoms don’t stop in a day or so, yes.” The look she gave me pierced my heart. I knew what she was thinking, but taking her to the emergency room wouldn’t do any good. They can’t treat her there without knowing her history, and I’d likely have to fight with a doctor to even convince them her condition was legitimate.

As much as it hurt Emmy, I scooped her up crying and took her next door. The other kids stayed with Miss Pearl, who seemed to be determined to Lysol every inch of her tiny apartment as we were leaving. I got my daughter undressed and filled the bathtub with cool water, knowing she was miserable and this would make her even more unhappy. “I’m sorry, Ems.” I didn’t know what else to say as I put her in the tub and encouraged her to lie back and get as much of her limp little body under the water as possible.

Just as I sat down on the toilet to keep my little girl company, my cell phone started ringing in my purse on the kitchen counter. It was one of the guys, and I didn’t have the energy to talk to any of them, so I let it go to voicemail. The back-to-back phone call alerted me it wasn’t one of the guys; it was the guy—Jase. Trudging into the kitchen, I caught it on the last ring. I perched myself at the entrance to the bathroom so I could see Emmy but answer Jase as well.

“Hello?”

“Gia, why’d you leave early?”

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t get away with anything in that building without someone running to Jase. He wasn’t lying when he said people thought we were sleeping together.

“Emmy wasn’t feeling well, and Miss Pearl called me.” He knew without me saying anything she had to be in pretty bad shape for Pearl to ask me to leave work, but I wouldn’t offer any more information than I was forced to.

“What’s wrong with her?” Concern laced his voice. He loved Emmy—it was evident any time you were around the two. Heck, he loved all the kids.

“Flu-like symptoms. I have her in a cool bath now trying to bring down her fever.” My voice was nonchalant, but inside, I was anything but. She’d only herxed one other time, but it looked almost identical to what I was seeing now.

“That’s rough. Poor thing. What do you need me to do?”

“We’ll be okay, but thanks for asking.”

“Gia…” He drew my name out as though he knew I was lying.

“Seriously, Jase. We’ll be okay.”

He wasn’t buying my feeble attempt to ward him off, but he let it go…for now. “Promise you’ll call me if you need me?”

“Absolutely. Look I need to go. She’s in the tub, and I’m in the hall.”

“Oh, right. Okay. Call me later.”

I hung up, put Jase out of my mind, and took up residence on the toilet lid. After about thirty minutes, Emmy had pruned up, and her bottom lip was blue and trembling. It was going to be a long night if things didn’t start to improve.

Nothing I did comforted my sick baby. She didn’t want to be held because it hurt, but she didn’t want to be left alone. Her joints hurt, her little body was visibly swollen, and her head ached from the incessant crying. There was nothing I could do to alleviate her discomfort or even minimize it, so I just kept putting cold washcloths on her skin and let her climb in and out of my lap.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t rationalize with a three-year-old that it’d get better, and even if I could, I didn’t know that to be true. This disease was new to all of us—I’d never known anyone with it, and it took months to even get an accurate diagnosis. I had no idea how long she’d feel bad, but I knew the longer she went without treatment, the worse it would get.

“Mommy it hurts,” she cried into my chest.

“What does baby?” I knew the answer.

“Everything. Make it stop.” Hearing your child beg you to take the pain away rips your heart out. Dealing with her illness has left me feeling helpless on countless occasions, but today was by far the worst because I was out of options. I felt a tear escape my burning eyes and run down my cheek. Just as I reached up to wipe it away, there was a knock at the door. Emmy was still crying, and I couldn’t move her to answer it.

Leaning my head back and away from Emmy’s ear, I called out for whoever it was to come in, expecting Miss Pearl or one of the twins. I wasn’t prepared for Jase Lane to walk through my door—although I should have expected it.

“Gia, babe.” His voice dropped off when he saw my face. I didn’t have the energy to hide from him. “Why are you crying?” he asked as he stepped toward me and the ball of sobbing child clutching my neck.

I shook my head, unable to form words that wouldn’t hurt Emmy’s sweet spirit. She pulled her head from my neck at the sound of Jase’s voice. Her little hands pushed away from my chest as she locked eyes with his. She leaned over me to reach for him, and her feet dug into my lap. He continued with her in his arms to sit next to me on the couch in my dimly lit apartment. The somber mood was made worse by the melancholy that constantly surrounded us.

Stroking Emmy’s hair, he spoke softly in her ear. “What’s wrong, sweet girl?”