Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(96)
“Fuck. He died thinking I was mad at him. I was angry with him for a long time. It took f*cking cancer to knock some sense into me.”
I push the locks of hair falling on his forehead. “He knew you loved him.”
He shakes his head as if to deny my words and turns away from me. He props one elbow on the door frame and bites his bottom lip, his focus on our daughters.
I lean on the wall behind me and close my eyes. I try to sort out what I’m feeling. Warm lips brush against mine. My eyes flip open, colliding with Cole’s intense, dark gray eyes. A frown mars his brow as he continues to study me. I’m trapped by the sudden rush of bliss his mouth stirred up in me.
“It is wrong to kiss you like this, Snowflake. But I can’t stop myself. Why does it feel so right? I should have known we would end up in each other’s space sooner or later.”
His mouth presses on mine again, sucking my bottom lip inside his mouth, nipping it. I wince a little, but lift my arms and dig my fingers into his scalp. I take a fist full of hair and tug it.
He hisses, groans. That sound hits me low in my stomach, ricocheting all over my body. He leans to the side and I hear the sound of glass thud softly on the floor. He straightens, and then he’s kissing me and I’m moaning, the sound bouncing on the walls.
Crap. We’re going to wake up the girls. I pull back, ready to duck under Cole’s arm, but he seems to have other ideas. He slides his arm around my waist and walks me backward toward my room, his heated gaze never leaving my face. I want this so badly, even an earthquake wouldn’t stop me from taking what he is offering.
He stops and cups my face in his hands. He crushes his mouth on mine, kissing me wildly, desperately, needy. He pulls his head back abruptly, stares at me. “I need you so much. I want to bury myself inside you.” He removes one hand from my cheek, trails it down my shoulder, my breast. He squeezes it hard before kneading it and pinching my nipple. My body jolts and I whimper. I try to move away from his grasp. I want to grab his hand and drag him to my bed, but he seems to have other ideas. His hand continues its descent, in slow deliberate touches and by the time he rounds my thigh and cups me between my legs, I’m writhing against his hard body.
“I need to stop feeling like this.” His speech is more labored, rough. “Please make the pain go away. I want to bury my cock in here. This sweet *. Fuck, Nor. I cannot believe no one else has been in there.”
His words heat my body. No one has ever spoken to me like that. Well, other than Cole himself. His words always had that kind of effect on me.
I’m ready to beg him to make me feel better. Fill this hollow feeling in my chest. I pull back enough for him to see my mouth. “I need you too. So freaking bad. Please, Cole. Make me feel whole again.”
We still have a lot to talk about, but those issues are minute at the moment, compared to the hunger tearing us apart. I don’t care if he doesn’t touch me again after today. All I know is that my body has been waiting to reconnect with his all these years. I’m not about to push him away.
He takes my hand and pulls me into my room and then kicks the door shut with his foot. My body is being pushed against a hard wall, and an even harder body presses into mine. It’s dark in the room. I’m not even sure how he knows where the wall is. Maybe men have a feel for these things. Like their inner “sex-against-the-wall” compass activates the second their brains switch to sex mode. His large hands grab my backside and lift me up. His mouth is on my neck, kissing me, nipping me, sucking me.
Oh holysweetmotherofbabyjesuspleasepleaseplease! I’m three seconds from spontaneous combustion and I haven’t written my will yet. Whoa. I can’t breathe. I need to breathe. I wiggle out of his arms and dart away in the dark.
Stumbling around in the dark, my knee hits my bed and I fall forward, roll around and sit up. Now that I found my bearings, I tap the surface until I find the night stand, the lamp switch and turn it on. I blink several times to adjust my eyes to the sudden light.
Cole is still standing near the door, his chest heaving. “Nor?”
“Give me a damn second. I just need a second to think without your hands on me.”
He shifts his weight to his right foot. Doesn’t say a word for about five seconds. “Do you want me to go?”
Do I? The Bailey’s and Coke made me feel good. But Cole’s kisses made me feel great. For those ten seconds his mouth was on my skin, I felt alive. I forgot everything. Just him and his talented lips and tongue.
I shake my head.
“Come here.”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Apparently, demanding Cole never left the building.
“Nor. I won’t tell you again.”
His face is dangerously dark. There’s so much lust in his eyes, so much pain. Hunger. I can’t tell where one emotion ends and the other begins.
I crawl out of the bed and go to him.
“Did you ever even love me?”
Whoa! Where is this coming from? It started as desperate need to fill a void in each other, but now we are talking about feelings.
I stare at this man standing in front of me. Hurt and uncertainty have joined the turmoil in his face.
I did that to him. As much as I wanted to save him, I broke him and took away the trust he had for me. He’d once saved me and ended up in prison. I saved him but ended up with the wrong brother. But while we did that to keep each other safe, it drove a wedge between us, separating us. Taking a deep breath, I nod and shift my gaze to stare at my feet. I can’t afford to let him see how much I miss him.