Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(95)

One thing is for sure. My desire for Cole hasn’t waned. You’d think after nine years of being away from each other we’d be more reserved. But no. Our broken souls stirred awake the moment we set eyes on each other at the hospital. And now they thrive, nourished by being in each other’s presence. Every touch and each look stitches those parts in me I thought would never mend.

Crap. Stop it, Nor. Don’t torture yourself like this.

Cole and I still need to talk. The question is, will he forgive me after he knows the truth?

Earlier today, my mother called from Phoenix where she’s now living with her boyfriend, Pete. She couldn’t make it to the funeral, which I guess, is okay. They will be visiting in two months or so. She said she’ll call to confirm the exact date. She sounded happy, much more than when she lived at home. I’m glad for her. My father had done a lot of damage to her, he almost broke her completely. I feel content that Pete is taking good care of her. The last time I saw them was over a year ago when they came to visit us. He doted on her, held her, made her smile. They met a few years ago in group therapy. Pete was the attending therapist. It was love at first sight, that’s what she says.

My phone vibrates on the wooden table, forcing my gaze to leave the starless sky. I reach for my phone and click on the message flashing on the screen with my finger. Goosebumps trail down my arms and I squeeze my thighs together to ease the tingling between my legs. He isn’t even here and my body is responding to him with a vicious need.

Cole: I’m outside.

I don’t have the strength to deal with Cole right now. He’s too intense. Too everything. And that terrifies me and excites me at the same time.

He doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Me: Go home Cole. The girls are sleeping.

Cole: I’m not here to see the girls. We need to talk.

I sigh. Now is not the right time to talk.

Me: We’ll talk when you come back from Boston.

Seconds pass.

Cole: Nor.

Cole: Please.

I drag my body from the couch and shuffle down the steps. When I reach the front door, I remove the door chain, flip the locks, and peek out. Cole’s standing on the porch. His forehead is pressed on the wall. He’s not wearing his trusted beanie so his hair is on full display: wild and wavy. He tilts his head to look at me. I suck in a breath, taking in the tortured look on his face. The muscles on his shoulder and stomach flex as he pushes himself off the wall with his hands and straightens.

How can I turn him away, when he looks like this?

“Come on in.” I step aside to let him in.

He takes a step forward and stops in front of me. He dips his head into the crook of my neck. Inhales long and hard. I shiver. Warmth spreads across my skin and I’m dizzy, dying. He exhales even harder, pulling me back to life. I’m drunk from having his body so close to mine.

Oh.

God.

I can’t move. I need to move something. A hand. My legs. My mouth. Maybe kiss him and take those wasted breathes into my lungs.

Behave, my brain tells my body, my heart.

I stumble back and step aside to let him in. I close the door and follow him into the living room, my gaze on his backside. My feet guide me forward, my palms itching to grab a piece of his—

“Ooomph!” I hit a wall of muscle and stagger back. Two strong hands grip my shoulders, righting me.

“Are you okay?” Cole asks, frowning at me.

Heat explodes across my face but I manage to bob my head. Oh wow, that Bailey’s went straight to my head.

“Want a beer?” I ask him, my pulse thudding in my ears.

He nods. I hurry to the fridge and grab a bottle before I end up groping him. The cool glass startles me, knocking some of the haze from the Bailey’s from my head. I return to Cole’s side and shove it in his hands, then stand back to watch as he twists the cap, slants his head back and takes a long drink. He lowers his arm holding the bottle and then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Sexiest thing ever.

“Can I see the girls? I won’t wake them. I promise.” He breaks through my thoughts with those words.

He looks so broken. If seeing the girls will take away that look of hopelessness from his face, then so be it.

I nod and lead the way upstairs. Halting in front of Cora’s room, I push the door with my fingers. Snores drift from where Cora and Joce are sprawled on the bed, sleeping. The light from the hallway faintly illuminates the angles of their faces, while the other side is cast in shadows. We stand there, watching our daughters. Joce jerks her hands, startled in her sleep but quickly calms down and goes back to sleep.

“They are beautiful. You and Josh raised them well.” I nod, a lump forming in my throat. Cole takes another sip from his bottle. He looks at me, tears brimming at the corner of his eyes. “I miss him so much.” He squeezes his eyes and the tears fall down his cheeks.

“Oh Cole,” I murmur under my breath as I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him. He returns my embrace with a tighter one, his face buried into the crook of my neck. His body shakes against mine. I can’t take away the pain, but I can hold him at least. I rub my hand down his back, and kiss his bowed head. He shudders as his tears subside and raises his head from my shoulder.

I cup his face in my hands and wipe the lingering wetness on his cheek. “He loved you so much, you know. He never stopped talking about you to the girls.”