Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(76)

“God, look at us, crying like a bunch of babies,” I say, laughing. I pluck some tissues from the box on the table and dab away the mascara trailing down my cheeks.

“No more crying. You’re ruining my work,” Elise scolds me with a cute, stern expression as she grabs the mascara and applies it again. “What time is Cole coming to pick you up?”

I glance at the clock on my nightstand. “Fifteen minutes. God, Elise, I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” she snorts, rolling her eyes. “You saw each other this morning. You two literally spend every second of the day staring into each other’s eyes.”

“No we don’t. We also talk. And kiss. And talk.” And explore each other, Cole doing that thing he does with his tongue on my neck.

She crinkles her nose and we laugh again. I pull her into my arms again, hugging her tightly, then lean back. “Thank you, Elise. For everything.”

She shrugs, giving me that smile I love so much. The one that makes me believe in peace, love and unicorns. That the world is better because she is in it.

“I’ll check on Mom now.” I pick the skirt up in my hands and head for the door, and leave my room with Elise in tow.

We walk past Elon’s room. A classical song with very heavy dark tones accosts us in the hallway, causing a shudder to slide down my spine.

“Wow, she’s gone dark,” Elise chuckles.

I shoot a playful scowl at her before stopping at the door and turning the knob. Elise murmurs that she’s going downstairs to make sure the camera is working and skips off.

“Hey Elon,” I say, entering the room.

Surprisingly, she jerks her head up, placing the book she’s reading on the bed. Only Elon can listen to a song like this one while reading. She’s always done this for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I think it’s her way of blocking out whatever is going on around her, which includes my parents fighting.

She eyes my gown, a smile playing on her lips. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks.” I reach the bed and crouch so we are at eye-level. “You okay, honey?”

She nods, but her eyebrows fold in a frown. “When will you be home?”

“As soon as I can. Elise will be here if you need anything. And you can always call me.” I assure her. I raise my hand and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “I love you and Elise so much.”

I always make sure to say that often. Assure her. My sisters hardly ever hear those words from our parents.

Those three little words seem to work the magic. The frown on her face disappears, replaced by a huge smile that seems to light up the entire room. She scrambles from the bed and wraps her little arms around me.

“I love you, Nor.”

She lets go of me, climbs back on the bed and sits cross-legged. She seems so young, yet mature in some ways. I guess she learned to survive, living under the same roof as my father. I’ve tried to protect my sisters as much as I can, but I guess I can only do so much.

I straighten from my crouch and walk toward the door. I glance over my shoulder one more time but my little sister is already absorbed in her book, forgetting the world around her exists. Just her, the book and that song playing from her CD player.

When I enter Mom’s room, the light is dimmed low. Music plays softly on the radio on top of the table next to the window, where she’s sitting in a rocking chair, looking out. The curtains are parted to let in the moonlight, giving glimpses of the stars in the dark sky.

I know when I look at her I’ll be met with eyes lost in their own imagination of whatever goes on inside her head.

I squat in front of her and lay my hand on her cheek. She blinks twice and then turns her head to face me, but her eyes aren’t really focused on me, rather on the space above my shoulder. I know she can hear me though.

“Cole will pick me up any time now,” I say, stroking her cheek with my thumb. She closes her eyes, a faint smile flirting across her lips. “What do you think of this dress?”

Her gaze moves slowly until it locks with mine. Tears fill her eyes. “You look so beautiful, honey.”

“I know, right?” Remember when we used to talk about wedding gowns and prom dresses? Well, it’s Winter Formal today. Elise says I look just like you. I’m so proud of that, Mom.”

I stand up and twirl and right then I hear a sound, almost like a chuckle, but more pressed inside her throat. I halt, and the gown follows my movement.

“You like it? I knew you would.”

The doorbell rings downstairs and her fingers twitch in her lap.

“That’s Cole. I think I should go.” My chest twists in pain. She is missing all this, moments a mom and her daughter should be sharing. I wish she was the one standing in the foyer, taking pictures instead of Elise.

I squat again, pressing my forehead against her hand. She turns it around to frame my cheek. I look up to see her eyes fully focused on me, tears falling down her cheeks. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, Eleanor,” her voice wobbles a bit.

The sound of feet shuffling in the hallway pulls me out of this rare moment. I quickly wipe my face and paste a smile on before turning around to face the door.

“Look who’s here,” Elise says in a sing song voice. “Cole f*cking Holloway.”

“Watch your language, Elise,” Mom snaps, and my gaze momentarily moves from Cole to her, surprised by her outburst.