Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(64)
“Then I leave.” He slips on his jacket.
I might find a way to squeeze out a few more tears if he keeps saying stuff like that. Shrugging, I shake my head. “So … like no big deal.”
He pulls a beanie onto his head, eyes narrowed a fraction. “It’s a whole fucking big deal. But at this point, I can’t control you, your thoughts, or our fate. You’ve made up your mind. You want to pursue a life that’s not mine. And I’ve made up my mind. I don’t want to watch you walk off a cliff knowing I will never be able to catch you. I can’t put you back together if I don’t know where the pieces fit.”
“This hurts,” I murmur.
He nods several times, opening the back door. “It sure as hell does.” The door closes behind him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
“Hey,” I say, void of all confidence.
“Hey,” Nate says with his back to me as he washes a few bottles.
“She still asleep?”
“Yeah.”
I ease up onto the barstool. When he turns, I’m going to feel all sorts of pain and regret. But I can’t hide forever.
“Things go okay with your parents watching her yesterday?”
“Yeah.”
I nod. One hey and two yeahs … good thing things aren’t awkward.
“I see Dr. Albright next week. We’re going to try hypnosis.”
Nate dries his hands and turns.
“Jesus …” I stand, making my way to him. “What happened to your face?” When I reach to brush my thumb across the cut on his fat lip, he pulls back and sidesteps me, grabbing his coffee container.
“I kissed my best friend.”
“What are you talking—” It hits me. “Griffin? He came here? Yesterday?”
Nate screws the lid on to his container, shooting me a sidelong glance with a crooked smile tugging at his swollen lip. “No. I give him credit for making his point in my office, instead of my house with my parents and Morgan.”
“Nate, I’m so sorry—”
“Sorry?” He chuckles, shaking his head. “That’s Swayze talking. I took a lot of hits for Daisy. And she never felt bad. I’m pretty sure that fell under what a real boyfriend was supposed to do. And I sure as hell wanted to be her real boyfriend. But it makes me feel bad for you, Swayze, that a guy stood up for you, for what the two of you have together, and you’re sorry.”
He leans back against the counter, one hand holding his coffee and his other hand slipped into the front pocket of his dark jeans. “When Jenna and I were on our honeymoon, this guy sitting on the other side of her at an outdoor bar decided to hit on her. Right there in front of me. The shiny wedding ring clearly in plain sight. She politely told him her husband happened to be sitting on the other side of her. The dick had the balls to rest his hand on her leg. I broke his nose. Blood everywhere.
“Jenna grabbed my hand and dragged me into the hotel and straight up to our room. It was the most passionate sex we ever had. All because it turned her on seeing two guys get into it over her.”
“Not the same thing. I kissed you back.”
“Daisy kissed me back.”
“That’s just it. I don’t feel her like you do. You remember all of her. I don’t. So what if it wasn’t Daisy who kissed you back?”
His lips twist, forehead drawn inward. “It doesn’t matter. I kissed Daisy. I would never have kissed you had you not been her in my head at that moment.”
I shake my head. “How can you say that for sure?”
“Because you’re engaged to another man.” His voice escalates to the edge of control. “That’s not me. I don’t touch what’s not mine. I have morals. I’m a professor. A father. I’m not a thief.”
I rub the empty spot where my engagement ring used to reside. Nate’s gaze follows my movement.
“Swayze …” He grimaces.
Fisting my left hand, I cover it with my right hand. “It wasn’t you. It was me. I gave it back. He didn’t ask for it. But I can’t pretend that I wasn’t her. I can’t pretend that Doug Mann isn’t a murderer. And I can’t ask him to love me—to marry me—if I can’t tell him who I am.”
“Go apologize. Salvage it. Beg. Grovel. Whatever it takes.” Nate snatches his coat from the back of the sofa and puts it on.
“What? Did you not hear me?”
Zipping his coat, he glances up at me. “Perfectly.”
“He beat you up!” My sanity wanes.
Nate chuckles. “I stood in front of him and willingly took three solid punches. Not gonna lie, my face hurts more than it used to. Could be my age. But I can promise you … I didn’t get beaten up.”
Slipping his bag over his shoulder, he stops in front of me. “Had I found out you told him about the kiss and he didn’t pay me a visit, I would have been sorely disappointed in him.”
“He’s leaving. I’m staying.”
“Don’t be stupid. Let her go.”
I laugh. “That’s rich coming from the guy who named his daughter after her. The guy who visits her grave.”
He stares at me, unblinking, for a few seconds. “Make sure the front door is locked. Have a good day.”