Ensnared (The Accidental Billionaires #1)(43)

“It was an accident,” she corrected.

“A fall that I caused,” I rasped. “I saw her too close to the edge, and I yelled at her. I startled her, and she fell.”

“You are not going to blame yourself for this,” she insisted. “Accidents happen. You acted out of fear. And you had no intention of making her fall.”

“It was stupid,” I growled. “I don’t act with my emotions. Ever.”

I calculated almost everything, thought it through before I reacted. But Jade had turned my usually logical brain upside down.

“You’re not a robot, son,” she pointed out. “Somewhere along the way, you’re going to have emotional reactions, no matter how much you try to avoid them.”

“I don’t want to feel this way,” I said in a desperate voice.

“You care about her,” she deduced. “I’m glad.”

“I’m not. And I think I care too damn much.”

My mom smiled. “Does she know that?”

“Hell, no.”

“Maybe you should tell her.”

“It wasn’t part of the deal. And I’ve pretty much been a dick to her. She’d probably run the other direction if I told her I was having a change of heart about the no commitment thing.”

“So you’re going to do the running instead,” she predicted. “Because she scares you.”

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “Right now, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, and I hate that.”

My mom reached out and grabbed my hand. “Don’t let the past mess up your future, Eli. It’s been years. It’s time to let it go. You should sell her the land.”

“I can’t,” I croaked out. “You know I can’t.”

She shook her head. “I’ve watched you torture yourself for years. For entirely no reason. It has to stop.”

It was a subject I absolutely didn’t talk about, and today was no exception. “I want to focus on Jade right now,” I told her.

“You’re as stubborn as your father was,” she lamented.

I crossed my arms. “Are you going to try to convince me that my orneriness only comes from him?”

“You think it comes from me?” she gasped, putting her hand to her chest with mock distress. “Not possible. I’m as sweet as a Georgia peach,” she drawled, laying on her Southern accent.

I let out a reluctant grunt of laughter. My mother could be sweet, but she was by no means a Southern belle. She’d been out of the South for decades, and she’d learned to bite when necessary. Luckily, she had a kind heart.

“I’m sorry I’m being a jerk,” I said, feeling bad because my mother had taken care of everything for me, and as always, she’d jumped into the fire with both feet.

I hadn’t even noticed that she’d been trying to make things easier for all of Jade’s family. Maybe it was because it was what my mom always did.

“It’s just been a really tough few days,” I added.

“You don’t need to apologize. You’re my son, Eli. I know you love me. But when you hurt, I hurt. All I ever want is to see you happy.”

I saw the tears glistening in her eyes, and it jolted me into reality. “I know. Thanks for coming. But you need to go home and get some sleep. Is Jeff here to drive you home?”

She nodded.

“Good. Did you eat?”

“I did,” she confirmed. “I had a lovely talk with Brooke while we were having dinner. If Jade is anything like her sister, she’s a lovely girl. The Sinclairs are an amazing family. Their rags-to-riches story is pretty remarkable. But it hurts my heart to know how much they struggled. It must have been hard for Noah.”

“I think it was difficult for all three of Jade’s older brothers. But they’re all pretty tough.”

“You need a girl like her,” my mother mused.

“Enough,” I said gently. “Leave my love life to me.”

She rose from the table. “If I left everything to you, I’d never live to see a grandchild,” she said huffily.

“No guilt trips,” I said. “You’re not exactly elderly and on your deathbed.”

My mother was still beautiful, and just as active as she’d always been. She could work circles around women who were decades younger.

I stood up, snagged her lightweight jacket, and held it out for her.

When she turned around, she gave me a worried look. “Please get some rest. I know you’re not going to leave, but try to sleep.”

I was my mother’s son, and she knew it. When my father had been critically ill before he’d died, my mother had never left his side.

She continued, “I left you a bag of clothes in the closet.” She pointed at the small wardrobe in the room. “There’s a physician’s shower around the corner. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

I nodded. Honestly, I was grateful for clean clothing. I was pretty sure I stank.

I hugged her tight for a moment and then watched her walk out the door.

I gathered up the clean clothes and went to find the shower.

My mother was right. I wasn’t going anywhere. But for the sake of all Jade’s family, I knew I needed to clean up.