Down and Dirty (Hot Jocks #5)(30)

Then Owen opens his mouth to say, “Plot twist!” and laughs under his breath.

After several more beats of uncomfortable silence, Justin says, “That’s just fucking cr—”

But I hold up one hand, stopping him as I bark out, “You know what? It’s not a big deal, and I’m not looking for opinions.”

“Hey, you don’t owe us an explanation,” Asher says with a trace of sympathy, palms up.

“And Aubree is a cool girl,” Teddy adds, nodding.

I nod once, grunting.

Fuck, why is this so awkward? And of course my choice of seating makes it impossible to escape. I just have to sit here and endure their loud stares and stony silence. Fantastic.

Our waitress chooses this moment to appear beside our table. She’s bright pink when she returns with two pitchers of IPA and half a dozen glasses.

“Thank you, Rachel.” I smile at her, and she lets out a choked gasp. This poor girl’s discomfort shouldn’t distract me from my own, but . . . well, it does. And I’ll take whatever distraction I can get.

I let out a slow exhale and accept the glass of beer Asher’s just poured me.

“We could slip her Grant’s number,” Teddy says with a snicker as she scurries away again.

“Yeah, and he’d kick all our asses,” Asher says.

“Fact,” I say, agreeing.

Our team captain, Grant, is the one person on the team I can’t seem to figure out. He rarely ventures out with us, and when he does, he’s a grumpy bastard. Go figure. I certainly don’t want to get on the dude’s bad side.

“You should’ve seen him at rookie camp last year. I thought he was going to murder Morgan,” Justin says, launching into a story that involves a prank that went south.

Since the conversation has turned to hockey, and off my love life, I take a large gulp of beer, hoping it quenches whatever this weird tight feeling is inside my chest.

By the time I make it back to my place, I’m no more settled than I was sitting in that damn booth, enduring the awkward stares of my teammates. But Teddy was right, Aubree is a cool girl—and she’s also sweet and funny and unbelievably freaking gorgeous.

This just makes sense, right? Dating until we can figure out this thing between us? Or maybe that’s just another lie I tell myself, like I’m only staying for one beer. I had three, for the record.

I go through my bedtime routine on autopilot. Removing my contacts. Brushing my teeth. Stripping out of my jeans and T-shirt and throwing them in the hamper inside my closet. But by the time I fall into bed, I’m nowhere near ready for sleep, because my mind is still spinning on what-ifs.

Everything is jacked right now. From my empty bed to my naked ring finger, to the ridiculous luxury SUV that taunts me from the parking garage every day. Yes, I like Aubree a lot, but who the hell knows what will happen? She says she’s trying, but she’s holding herself back. She wasn’t even going to tell me about her little surgical procedure. I’m really not sure what to make of that.

I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling as I release a slow sigh. I consider jerking off, wondering if maybe that will relax me. But somehow, I know it won’t satisfy the ache inside me.





11




* * *





Once a Pro, Always a Pro





Aubree



“You have to at least give me a hint.”

It’s Friday night, and I’m riding beside Landon in his car, scanning my surroundings for any hints of our destination.

“No way.” He shakes his head, his resolve firm. “You’ve made it this long without knowing. What’s a few more minutes?”

His masculine, woodsy scent fills the small space between us, and I inhale deeply, nervous excitement bubbling inside me.

“One clue.” I beg shamelessly, batting my eyelashes at him.

His chest rises and falls with a deep breath, and when we stop at a red light, his blue eyes fix on mine. “Why are you so interested? You’ve barely agreed to date me . . .”

“That’s not true, is it?”

His smile is strained. “I don’t know. You tell me, Aubree.”

The sound of my name on his lips makes my heart stutter. The last time we were together at my place, he was so sweet. And when I called him to tell him the biopsy results from the mole I had removed came back as nothing, he was elated. It was cute.

“I’m here because I want to be,” I say, darting another glance his way.

His thumb moves across his lower lip, and he gazes out at the road again. “Good. That’s a start, I suppose.”

I keep my expression neutral, hoping he doesn’t know about the nerves that dance down my spine. Being near him makes me feel off-kilter. When we’re apart, it’s easy to tell myself I don’t feel anything for him. But in his presence, that’s just not possible. He affects me, plain and simple.

I smile, pretending I’ve not been split into a million fragmented pieces. My own feelings aren’t something I’m used to struggling with. But on the matter of my hot new husband, they totally are.

“Fine.” He sounds annoyed, but his slight smile tells me otherwise. “Here’s your clue. Since you still seem hung up on our age difference, I thought we should do something to make us both feel young again.”