Down and Dirty (Hot Jocks #5)(26)

Of all the ways to spend my evening after working all day, working on a wedding reception seating chart wouldn’t be my first choice.

But as a bridesmaid, when Becca texted me last night pleading for my event-planning expertise, I couldn’t say no. And as a human being with taste buds, when she lured me with the promise of splitting a veggie pizza while we work, I told her I’d be there. After spending longer than expected at my dermatologist appointment this morning, I sped over to Becca’s place, knowing that veggie pizza was just what the doctor ordered.

Not literally. Although I wish.

Now, as I’m standing in her kitchen staring at the nightmare on her table, I understand why the pizza was a necessary incentive. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was the work of some conspiracy theorist trying to piece together clues from a crime.

“So the coasters represent tables, and each poker chip is a guest,” Becca explains, gesturing to the chaos happening on her kitchen table. There have to be almost three hundred poker chips, each one with a name written on it in permanent marker. Apparently, the four-hour flight to Becca’s hometown of Dallas isn’t enough to stop people from RSVPing yes to the wedding of the decade.

I pick up a red poker chip, reading the unfamiliar name scrawled on it. “So this is where all the missing chips from poker night have gone.”

A guilty smile tugs at her lips. “Petty theft in the name of wedding planning. Don’t tell Asher.”

We load up our plates with veggie pizza before settling in at the table, rearranging poker chips and taking hefty bites to fuel us. Since there’s spinach on the pizza, that makes it brain food, right?

“If you put Coach Dodd and his wife with the players, you can have all the assistant coaches at the same table,” I say, dragging the coach’s poker chip from one coaster to another.

“That’s what I thought too, but then where do my boss and his wife go?”

Becca is the assistant to the owner of the Ice Hawks, so between her coworkers and Owen’s teammates, there are about a hundred hockey-related guests attending this wedding. And that’s only a third of the total guest count. I guess everything really is bigger in Texas.

I scrunch my brows and take a big bite of pizza, hoping by the time I finish chewing that I’ll have a solution. Sadly, no luck.

Becca sighs, resting her chin in her cupped hands. “Aren’t you glad you didn’t have to do any of this?”

I shrug, scooting the poker chip with my name on it next to Landon’s. “Honestly, it’s the sort of thing I always pictured doing. I’ve gotten plenty of practice with all the galas I’ve orchestrated for work. I always thought I’d get to put it to use someday for my own wedding.”

“You and Landon could always renew your vows,” she says. “I mean, if you’re staying together, that is. I haven’t wanted to bring it up, but I’m dying to know.”

I groan, only half mocking her. “Not you too.”

“Have you guys been . . . spending time together?” she asks, grinning.

I nod. “A little.”

Her smile grows wider. “Like, what? A date?”

My lips twitch with the beginning of a smile.

“Spill it!” She squeals, pushing the poker chips away with the first real excitement I’ve seen all night.

I can’t not tell her. So I do.

I launch into the full story—the dinner Landon and I shared, the awkward questions from the ring appraiser, shopping together, the freaking car he bought me . . . and even what happened afterward on his couch. My cheeks heat up at the memory of Landon on his knees in front of me.

I force a deep breath into my lungs, remembering that Becca is still watching me. “But I don’t know. It feels like he’s trying to force it. Trying to make this marriage stick, when I really don’t know what I want.” I shake my head. “I hardly know him.”

Becca’s eyes widen. “Oh yeah, going down on you and buying you an SUV. He sounds like a real monster.”

I chuckle despite the deep uncertainty swimming inside me. “Honestly, I have no idea what we’re doing. But he’s not really willing to just let this go.” I fidget nervously, picking at my pizza crust. I should have known I wouldn’t get through a day of talking wedding stuff without discussing my own marriage. “But, honestly, I’m a little scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of failing,” I say on a sigh, staring at my left hand. “If we’d just gotten an annulment right away, we could’ve put it behind us. But now it’s different. If we’re going to give it our all and it doesn’t work out . . . it’ll just hurt that much more. Won’t it?”

When I meet Becca’s gaze, there’s a warm look of understanding in her eyes.

“Being in a relationship is scary,” she says. “And there’s always a risk in any relationship that things won’t turn out how you want. But you’re not going to protect yourself by not trying. If you don’t try, you might miss out on the best thing to ever happen to you.”

My chest tightens as I heave another deep sigh. God, I hate it when she’s right.

Landon is a sweet guy. He’d do anything for anyone, and just wants people to be happy. Okay, and let’s not forget that he’s handsome as hell too. Yes, his communication skills could use a little work, but he clearly knows how to treat a woman right. And the sexual connection between us is definitely there. Saturday night reassured me of that much.