Defending Raven (Mountain Mercenaries #7)(34)
“That’s right. And we talked all night. And by the end of the date, I wasn’t worried about how big he was anymore. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me,” Mags said.
David turned again and looked up at her. “Just because someone is big and mean-looking doesn’t mean they’re going to hurt you.”
“Exactly. And on the flip side, someone who is small and skinny might be able to hurt you much more than someone bigger.”
“Mamá?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Why are some people mean and others aren’t?”
Mags shouldn’t have been surprised at her son’s question. He might only be four and a half, but he hadn’t had the most stable or loving home. She’d done her best to shower him with love and affection, but she couldn’t control what the other people who were raising him did. And unfortunately, they were around him more than she was. “I don’t know. Some are probably born that way. Others learn how to be mean by watching those around them. Others are greedy and will do whatever they can to get money.”
“I don’t want to be mean,” David said softly.
“You aren’t,” Mags soothed him.
“Sometimes I get really mad inside,” her son admitted. “I miss you when you aren’t here, and the other ladies who watch over me don’t care if I’m hungry or if I get hurt, not like you. And it makes me mad. I want to hit them!”
Mags sighed in frustration. “Thank you for being honest, David. It’s important not to lie. And I’m sorry they treat you that way. This will be hard for you to understand, but sometimes people do things because they don’t have a choice. Someone else is making them be that way. Or they’re hurting inside so much, they don’t have the energy to care about anyone else. They’re simply trying to get to tomorrow. One day at a time.”
Her son thought about her answer for a moment, then nodded. “Like when del Rio comes and yells at everyone, and they have to do what he says.”
Mags stiffened. “Does he come by a lot?” she asked, wanting to know how much time she and Dave had to get her son out.
David shrugged. They were both quiet for a minute or two. Then he asked quietly, “Do you think Papá will find us soon?”
“I’m sure of it,” Mags couldn’t help but say. In the past, she’d always tried to be optimistic, but cautiously so, not wanting to raise the boy’s hopes. But now that Dave was here, and seemed ready to take both her and her son back to the States, she couldn’t help but give David something to look forward to.
“Do you think he’ll like me?”
“Oh, sweet boy, of course he will. Why wouldn’t he?”
David shrugged again.
“Look at me,” Mags ordered her son. She waited until he looked up at her with his big blue eyes. She liked to think he looked more like her than whoever his biological father was. He had black hair and blue eyes like she did. He even had a dimple in one cheek, just like she did. Before he was born, Mags had been afraid that looking at him would remind her of the hell she’d lived through, but the opposite had been true. The first time she held him in her arms, she’d fallen in love. Immediate and all-consuming. She didn’t care how he was conceived, just that he was alive and healthy . . . and hers.
“You are an amazing little boy. You’re smart, handsome, and compassionate. Why wouldn’t Papá like you?”
“Del Rio called me a bastard. He says the only way anyone will ever love me is if I do what they tell me to. What he tells me to.”
Mags wanted to scream. Del Rio had no right to say such a thing to her son!
At one time, she’d been happy she’d had a son instead of a daughter, thinking he would be safe from del Rio and his sex-trafficking business. But it was very clear that wasn’t the case. She’d been deluding herself, thinking the vile kingpin had no interest in her son.
Over her dead body would she let anyone touch David. No more than they already had. No way in hell. She’d die trying to save him from that fate.
“Don’t you listen to him,” she said a bit more furiously than she’d intended. She did her best to get her anger under control. “He’s wrong. And you have a mind of your own.” She tapped his little head with her finger. “You’re smart and can think for yourself. If someone tells you to do something you know is dangerous or wrong, you don’t have to do it. But here’s the thing . . . sometimes in life, you could find you must do something you don’t want to do. It doesn’t make you a bad person. If someone else is making you do it, they are the bad ones. Not you. Understand?”
David nodded, but Mags could still see the hurt and confusion in his eyes.
“I love you, David. You are the best thing to happen to me. I wouldn’t change one day of my life if it meant you wouldn’t be here with me. Hear me?”
“Yes, Mamá.”
“I mean it. I’ve had to do some things I’m ashamed of, but I’ll never be ashamed to call you my son. No matter what the future holds. You always hold your head up and know that you are David Justice. You’re smart and important.”
He threw his arms around her neck and buried his head in her shoulder. He wasn’t crying, but they were both fairly emotional. Mags just wanted to pick him up and carry him straight out the door, but knew she couldn’t.