Defending Raven (Mountain Mercenaries #7)(31)
Over the last ten years, no one had treated her with any delicacy. She’d been more like an object than a living, breathing person. She was a way to make money, a slave to del Rio, and she’d had to do whatever he told her to do if she wanted to live. Even after being kicked out of his compound, she wasn’t free. She had to toe the line in order to protect her son. She’d scrounged in trash cans for food and faded into the background to escape too much interest from men like Ruben.
Longing hit Mags hard then. She wished life had been different. Wished she’d been able to see her husband change and grow over the last ten years, like normal couples. But if she was honest with herself, she liked the man it seemed Dave had turned out to be. A little rough around the edges, a bit too inwardly focused, but still gentle, protective, and loyal to his friends. She hadn’t missed how he’d asked about Chloe, who she assumed was Ro’s girlfriend or wife.
The walk to the house where David was being raised didn’t seem quite as long today as it had in the past. She and Dave didn’t talk much, but just having him there, watching for trouble, allowed her to relax and not be quite so on edge. The walk was roughly five miles, but she’d never minded it. She’d walk twice that if it meant being able to see her son.
When they got within half a mile of the house where David was living, Mags reluctantly turned to Dave. “I need to go by myself from here.”
He frowned but nodded. Pulling out another protein bar, he said, “Eat this before you get there. I don’t like the thought of you going hungry.”
Mags wanted to cry as she stared at the food, but controlled herself. She took it and stuffed it into one of her pockets. She’d eat it once she started walking again. She couldn’t take it in with her. She was always searched, both entering and leaving the house.
“And take this.” Dave held out a wad of tissues. “They shouldn’t care that you’ve got them in your pocket.”
Reaching for them, Mags held her breath when Dave gently took hold of her hand. “Be careful,” he whispered. “I know you’ve been doing this for a while now, and you’re a grown adult, but I can’t help but worry about you and David. I can’t lose you again. It would destroy me. Don’t do anything unusual that will bring attention to yourself. We’re in the home stretch, and if all goes well, we could all be on our way back to the United States in a few days. If you act differently, someone might think something is up. Is del Rio around when you’re there?”
Mags wanted to argue. Wanted to tell Dave that she hadn’t agreed to go back to the US with him. He was acting as if it was a foregone conclusion.
But the fact of the matter was, Mags wanted to go home more than anything. She wanted to see snow again. Wanted to breathe in the scent of Dave’s bar. Wanted to show David that life wasn’t just about having to follow orders and be meek and quiet all the time. She wanted to be free. Wanted her son to be free to laugh and cry without worrying about being reprimanded for being too loud. Wanted to see him run around without a care in the world. He was way too quiet for an almost five-year-old. Too grown up.
Dave’s words also made her melt a little inside. It had been a long time since anyone had worried about her, and the fact that he’d included David in his worry was a miracle in her eyes. She’d never thought he would be mean to the boy, but for him to willingly embrace another man’s child, to be one hundred percent committed by calling him “our son,” wasn’t something she could’ve dreamed up in her wildest fantasies.
Remembering his question about del Rio, Mags said, “He’s not usually here on the days I am. Sometimes he’ll show up just to remind me that he’s the one allowing me to see my son, but David has said a few things that make me think del Rio pops by to visit him when I’m not there.”
“All right. If he does happen to come today, just do whatever you usually do. I’m working on some things that will hopefully pan out, but in the meantime, we don’t want to give him a heads-up that anything’s different.”
Mags eyed him. “What are you working on?”
“I’ll tell you later. There’s no time now, and I don’t want you to worry about anything but making sure our boy has a good day with his mom. Okay?”
It was a good answer, though it didn’t assuage her worries.
Moving slowly, Dave leaned over and gently kissed Mags on the forehead. “I love you, Raven. I know it might be awkward hearing me say it, but I can’t help it. I’ve loved you since the day I met you, and I will until the day I die. I’d never do anything to put you or our son in danger. Just know I’m here and I’m watching. I’ll wait for you this afternoon right here. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said softly. She’d spent the last ten years with absolutely no affection. Just enduring men doing what they wanted, when they wanted. Dave’s gentle caress felt like heaven.
She turned and walked toward the house where her son was waiting. He knew their routine just as well as she did, and she knew he looked forward to her visits. He was too young to understand why he only got to see her a few days a week, and Mags was all too aware that it wouldn’t be long before del Rio would change their arrangement. He’d hinted at it the last time she’d seen him, and it scared the shit out of her.
She was terrified del Rio had set his sights on making her son work for him.