Darkness at the Edge of Town (Iris Ballard #2)(70)
It had gone about as bad as it could have. I didn’t have Billy. I had no leverage or new information on Mathias. I didn’t get his fingerprints, his real name, anything. I actually left with less than I had before. He had the upper hand. He’d neutralized me. I had no doubt he’d air all our dirty laundry to the world if I made waves. He’d won. That fact killed me almost as much as the fact that Billy gave him the ammunition to destroy us. How my brother knew about Meriwether I could only guess. I’d told my grandparents and no one else. They must have let it slip. But how could he tell Mathias? I was sure that at the time, Billy didn’t know that’s what he was doing, selling us out. He was baring his soul to someone he trusted. I scoffed. Or he knew exactly what he was doing.
He hated me. My own brother hated me. I didn’t…The tears started to fall from my eyes, but I pushed the rest back as best I could. My own twin brother. Hearing it from others was one thing, but when it came from the source, seeing that loathing with my own eyes was a trillion times worse. He resented me. He thought I hated him. He thought I believed I was better than him. What had I done to him? What was I supposed to have done? Not go to college? Not pursue my dreams? I couldn’t live his life for him. I couldn’t make him go to college or move out of Grey Mills. Maybe I should have done more. But to hate me? To intentionally hurt me? That wasn’t the brother I’d known.
As I sat there that hot, humid morning fighting back tears, for one of the first times ever I had no idea what to do next. I couldn’t move because I wasn’t sure where to go. Every direction I looked, all I saw were traps. I was damned if I did, damned if I didn’t. Me. The woman who’d thwarted Jeremy Shepherd. Stephen Meriwether. Countless other criminals. One conversation and I was back to the hopeless alcoholic hermit I thought I’d buried. Directionless. Hopeless. Unsure.
I’d failed. I couldn’t save him. I’d been wrong. I was never wrong.
I rested my head against the car and stared up at the blue sky, finally letting the tears flow.
Chapter 11
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” my grandfather asked me.
I zipped up my suitcase and turned to him. Both he and Grandma stood by the doorway in the spare room, watching me pack. I actually hoped they’d be gone so I could leave with just a note. I was still too raw to handle emotional goodbyes, even after driving for hours to clear my head before returning home. Of course Billy’s universe had to punish me some more.
“What happened? Where did you go?” Grandma asked.
“I went…I saw Billy, okay? He’s fine. He’s happy. He wants to stay there. Case closed.”
“You saw Billy?” Grandma asked. “He’s happy?”
“He is. He has a new teenage wife, a new baby on the way, a new…family. He’s on cloud fucking nine. We should all be so lucky. My job is done. I’m going home. He’s made his bed. He can lie in it.”
I put my suitcase on the ground and Grandpa strode toward me. “What the hell is going on, Iris? You go to that place without telling us, you say you saw Billy, now you come back and you’re running away? You’ve never run from a fight in your goddamn life.”
“And I’m not running now. There’s no fight to be had. I laid it all out for him. I made my case, and he didn’t listen. I can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.”
“Bullshit. Something happened. Did they hurt you? Did they threaten you?” Grandpa asked.
Grandpa’s brown eyes burrowed into mine. I’d never lied to my grandparents in my life. Growing up, they’d drummed it into my head that they could tolerate anything but lies. It came down to respect and trust, two of the most important tenets in any relationship. That’s why I told them about Meriwether when Grandpa asked me point blank if I’d executed him. That was only one of a handful of times I ever considered lying to them. In that bedroom was another. But with his eyes studying mine, I just couldn’t. He’d see through me.
“Billy told them what I did to Meriwether.” My grandfather’s jaw clenched. “How Luke lied for me. Billy also told them how you’ve both been getting paid under the table for your crafts and carpentry work ever since you’ve been on disability. Mathias threatened to call the IRS or FBI, or both. And I have absolutely no doubt he will contact the authorities if we keep bothering him.”
My grandparents exchanged a worried glance. “No. Why would Billy tell him those awful things?” Grandma asked.
“I don’t know, but he did. So the cold, hard truth of the situation is…it’s us or him. And Billy made it clear he wants to stay with them. So I’m making the call. It’s over. I’ve done what I said I’d do. I saw him. I talked to him. He’s alive and enjoying being one of the lotus eaters. So I’m going home. He’s on his own. Sorry.”
I grabbed both my suitcases and began wheeling them out of the bedroom. Of course they followed. “Iris, you can’t just…” Grandpa said. “There has to be something else we can do.”
“What about all those other people? You said this Mathias was making them do horrible things,” Grandma tried. “You said there were children there.”
I just had to vent the night before. It didn’t matter. I kept walking toward the front door. “The children looked fine. No one was beating or starving them that I saw. That’s better than some kids get.”