Dangerous Lies(26)
He smiled, continuing his path up my legs. I giggled when his thumb stroked the inside of my knee, jerking in reaction to being tickled.
Jake chuckled under his breath, grasping onto my thigh. “Did I find your funny bone?”
Setting down my laptop so it wouldn’t fumble, I tried to pull my leg from his hold, but he wouldn’t budge. “Yes! What happened to massaging?”
A wicked grin spread across his lips while he resituated, climbing to his knees and straddling one of my legs. “This is massaging.” Both his hands found the backs of my knees and wiggled, the touch shooting me into fits of laughter. I squirmed underneath him, grabbing a hold of his strong wrists. “Jake, stop! That tickles!”
We were both laughing now, his hands caressing more gently up the outsides of my thighs. I caught my breath some, only for it to be stolen again when he found my sides, showing no mercy. He hovered over me now, his white teeth beaming through his smile while I giggled and squirmed.
Resting both his hands on either side of my arms on the couch, he stared down at me while I caught my breath. “That was so mean,” I grumbled with a grin, wiping the tears of laughter from under my eyes.
“Yes, but worth it to see you smiling.” He gazed down at me, and my heart fluttered.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I whispered, wanting to reach up and touch his face, but refrained.
His brows pinched together. “Why are you sorry?”
I took a deep breath, diverting my gaze from his face to the bit of chest hair down his shirt. “I shouldn’t be so afraid to be physical with you.”
Jake rotated, lying between the couch back and me. Resting on his elbow and setting his chin in his hand, he said, “That’s not why I wanted you to come here, Cora.”
I closed my eyes. “I know it’s not, but… I have all of these weird emotions creeping up and I don’t want them to freak you out.”
He chuckled. “You couldn’t freak me out. Obviously you’ve never met any of my ex-girlfriends.”
I opened my eyes and turned to my side so we were face to face. “I’m serious, Jake. The last thing I need is to completely lose it while being with you.”
Jake brought his hand to the side of my face, his thumb stroking my jaw. “I don’t want that either. Why would you lose yourself?”
I studied his face, the image of him still so new. He was gorgeous. The softness of his brown eyes against his sharp, dark and thick eyebrows was masculine, his jaw defined and prickly with dark facial hair. The only debatable imperfection was a scar above his eye that I hadn’t even noticed until now. It was endearing, and made him more handsome.
“Cora?” He prompted, catching my eyes with his.
Taking a deep breath, I willed myself to open up to him.
“My last year with Martin wasn’t what a marriage should have been when it came to the physical part. It didn’t feel the same, didn’t feel right. So I stopped making advancements, and I turned him down quite frequently. You can imagine how that made him react.” I swallowed the dry lump that was forming in my throat. I hadn’t talked about this with anyone besides the therapist that was appointed by the hospital.
Jake’s brows were furrowed, but he continued to listen.
“The last few months of our marriage, he just started to take me, even if I didn’t want to. It wasn’t a good experience.” Jake’s hand remained on my face. “I just feel like I’m damaged goods for you when it comes to pleasing a man.”
“Alright, let’s get a few things out on the table,” he began, a sternness in his voice that didn’t match his typical playfulness. “I’d never expect you to do anything with me you weren’t comfortable with, and will most certainly NEVER force you to do anything. Intimacy is a two way thing, if it doesn’t feel good for you, then it doesn’t feel good for me.”
I coward some, but he jerked my face to look at him. “Second, nothing about you is damaged. You’re literally the most perfect woman I’ve ever met and laid eyes on, so don’t think for a minute that I’d ever be disappointed. Do you understand?”
I nodded. I already knew all of this in my heart, but hearing it from him helped for it to sink into my head.
“I guess I feel like I should have more guilt than I do for being here. I just had a nasty divorce. Shouldn’t I be more upset? Not feeling comfortable in another man’s arms so soon? The therapist made it sound like I might never be ready to be with a man, but every part of me is screaming to dive into your arms and bury my past.”
Jake let go of my face and curled his arm around my waist. “No one will judge you here. We’ve known each other for a long time. It’s not like you picked me up at a bar.”
“I don’t think I’d care if I were judged, I just get worried I’m going to wake up and have a breakdown, realizing I’ve done something too soon because the textbook answer is to be cautious.”
Both his arms clung around me. “You’re allowed to be cautious, I just want you to be happy.”
I wrapped my arm around his waist and cozied against his chest
Jake relaxed into me, running a hand through my hair. It felt so nice to be in his arms.
His chest rose up and down against my cheek, the sound of his heart soothing me and helping my mind to focus. I wanted him, more than just a friend, and it would happen soon.