Daddy's Girls (54)
“I’ll call you,” he promised, but she wasn’t sure he would. She suspected that he wanted to sleep with her. And a fling was more what he had in mind, if he was big into computer dating. He was looking to make up for twelve years of a boring marriage, and he wasn’t through playing yet. She had never been a player, even in college. Gemma had been, but she never was. She was the serious one, and so was Kate.
She kissed his cheek, thanked him for dinner again, got out of the car, and walked into her house. Billy and Morgan were watching TV and looked up when she walked in.
“Who was that?” They heard him drive away.
“An old friend from high school.” It didn’t sound interesting to them so they didn’t question her further. But it had been nice, re-examining the patchwork of her life. It made her glad all over again that she had left. Life in the Valley just wasn’t for her, no matter how handsome and sexy Tom McAvoy was. She had outgrown him in high school, and that hadn’t changed. Now she had a decision to make about Peter, about whether she had outgrown him too. She hadn’t thought of it that way before, but that’s what it came down to. Could she start over with Peter and trust him again, or was it over for her and time to move on? And did she still love him, or did he kill that? She wasn’t sure. She was hoping she would know when she saw him again. Until then, she felt like she was floating in space.
Chapter 12
The end of August was a turning point for all of them. There had been big changes in the past four months, starting with their father’s death. Thad and Kate had a future to plan, new paths to discover together, and new ideas they wanted to implement on the ranch. He had signed the papers and paid Gemma for her share. It was a big change for both of them. He and Kate grew closer every day, and were excited about their future.
Gemma’s tenant in L.A. had to leave her house on Labor Day weekend, and hadn’t made an offer yet. He said he was in love with it, but it was a big financial commitment. She had paid off most of her debts with Thad’s money, there were still a few lingering ones that trickled in. She knew she had to confront her lifestyle now, and make major changes. For the first time in her life, she couldn’t, and didn’t want to, live from paycheck to paycheck. She didn’t have one, and she wanted a cushion, so the bottom couldn’t fall out of her life so easily again. She didn’t want to live that way. Selling her house in the Hollywood Hills and downsizing would give her something to fall back on.
Almost three months after the show had folded, she was still out of work. Jerry, her agent, was still promising that the new British series was a strong possibility for her, but it hadn’t come through yet, and she didn’t know if it would. She couldn’t count on it as a sure thing, or even a strong possibility. It might turn out to be a train that would pass her by. It happened a lot in TV series and feature films, someone told you that you were perfect for it after an audition, or that they were going to call you, and they never did. Hopes got dashed in Hollywood every day, and hers had in June.
She went back to L.A. the day after Labor Day, and she was surprised by how sad she was to leave the ranch. More than she had been when she left at eighteen after she’d graduated from high school. It had provided her a safe haven all summer, an opportunity to reconnect with her sisters, and find herself in the peace and silence of the Valley. She realized now that she’d been running away for years, living on distraction and overriding her inner voices with background noise, running away from age, her responsibilities, the need to put something aside for the future. She hadn’t wanted to hear any of it. Her father had tried to warn her, but he liked the idea of her being a star, and the reflected glory it gave him. In some ways, she had been an accessory to him, to make him more important and look good. His daughter was a star. And stars didn’t have to be responsible or even grown-ups most of the time. They had to show up at work, look great on camera, and know their lines. She had done all of that, to perfection, but she had been coasting for ten years, while the producers spoiled her, the public adored her, her father bragged about her, and she signed autographs. She had bought into all of it. It would have been hard not to. She would have had to face herself more often than she had. She doubted that she had faced reality at all. She had formed no deep relationships or friendships in the past ten years. Everything in her life was superficial, a fa?ade.
She walked around her house when she got it back, and loved being there again. It was big and beautiful, elegant and showy, the furniture was perfectly placed, the art was attractive and expensive, and it gave her a feeling of well-being just being there, wandering around, and looking at the view. But she didn’t need it, no one cared that she lived there. She had no one to share it with. It was ten thousand square feet of drain on her finances with no income now to support it. And even if she got another big show, did she really want to carry all that and work to pay the mortgage? She was sorry now she hadn’t bought something smaller and easier to carry. With no show, the house was a rock around her neck, and a heavy burden.
She missed her sisters when she got back to L.A., seeing Kate and Caroline every day, and going on walks and daily bike rides with them. Seeing her niece and nephew and learning about them. She had made her sisters go to the nail salon with her to add “glamour” to their lives, as she put it. Kate had had the first professional manicure of her life.