Crazy Girl(84)

“You fail only if you stop writing.”

-Ray Bradbury





The Comeback Kid was at a standstill, as were Alex and Katrina. My beautiful characters stood within the pages of my WIP holding their hands up in front of them much like Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights did, unsure of what to do with them.

I had spent the last couple months leeching the story from myself, but the ending would not come. If I had to, I could put something down, but it wouldn’t feel real to me, and I knew I would let my readers down. A part of me knew my inability to finish the story had to do with Wren, but not so much because I’d lost him as my muse. More because I couldn’t let him go. So many times I’d wanted to go to him and try to fix things, but I couldn’t. I knew I hadn’t changed enough, though I was trying. I hadn’t necessarily made leaps and bounds, but I had taken steps. I bought a couch off of Craigslist and a desk and chair for me to work at. I also started making repairs to my home. Someday I would sell it. Someday I would move on. These were little things, but I was doing something. I resumed writing my positive reminders to myself, shaking the self-loathing ones I’d given into for a time. I was getting better, day by day.

It was a Thursday evening when I decided to stop by Deanna’s on my way home and drop off the baby clothes Taz and Laney had left for me at the office to give to Deanna. Heaving the massive black trash bag of clothing over my shoulder, I trudged up her porch steps and was just about to ring the doorbell when I heard shouting. With my hand frozen in midair, I listened. It was Deanna and Allen…arguing. I frowned as I listened, unable to make out what they were saying, but able to hear the emotion in Deanna’s voice. She was crying. Shit. I needed to go. I was eavesdropping. Plopping the bag by the door, I was about to turn and dash back to my car when the front door opened. Allen stood just inside, but hadn’t seen me because he was still facing Deanna, yelling.

“I have to go. Don’t you understand? I’ve been working my ass off for this promotion.”

I could just make out Deanna over his shoulder some ways down the hall, wiping at her face. When her gaze flicked to me, her head jerked slightly. “Hannah,” she rasped, emotion thick in her tone.

Allen whipped his head around, eyes wide. “Oh, Hannah.” He shook his head, seemingly embarrassed I’d just witnessed them fighting, and he hadn’t even realized I was there. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” He was dressed in a pair of freshly pressed slacks and a blue button-down shirt that made his eyes blaze. His face was reddened somewhat, maybe from the heat of their fight, or maybe humiliation that I’d heard it, I wasn’t sure. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

“Yeah,” I managed awkwardly after a beat, pressing on a smile, hoping to appear clueless to the fact that they’d been arguing. “Taz and Laney gave me this bag of baby clothes from the boys to give to you. I was just dropping it off on my way home. I’ll be going now.”

Allen dropped his head, then lifted it, his brow quirked as if something had just occurred to him. “Hannah could go with you,” he said as he looked over his shoulder at Deanna who was only a few feet behind him now. Her eyes were puffy and she was sniffling a little.

“Go where?” I asked, frowning in confusion.

“We had a long weekend planned at a bed and breakfast in Charlottesville,” Deanna explained. “But Allen’s boss asked him to go to Texas, and Allen told him yes.”

I tightened my mouth, fighting the wince I wanted to make. I knew Deanna had been struggling with Allen being gone so much for work and with the fact when he was home he wouldn’t make love to her. For the last few months it seemed Allen was around less and less. She was feeling forgotten; abandoned. Allen looked to me, his eyes pleading with me to understand and help him out as he spoke.

“Hannah. I’ve worked so hard for this promotion. I’m so close. If I get it, I won’t have to travel as much and with the baby coming that’s a big deal.”

Moving my gaze back and forth between them, I bit my lip as they stared back at me. Were they wanting me to weigh in? Oh boy, this wasn’t going to be good. I could see both sides of this and neither was more wrong or right than the other. But Deanna was one of my best friends, and friendship rules told me I had to side with my friend, no matter what. I would’ve staked my life on it that it was written in the Bible somewhere.

“He’s not coming,” Deanna told me before I could voice my loyalty. Her steady voice was laced with frustration. She had noticed the look on my face and didn’t want me wasting my time worrying about what to say. “So,” she inhaled deeply, “girls’ weekend?” She was breaking my heart. I wasn’t who she really wanted there, but it was better than going alone.

Allen met my gaze again, a pleading stare. I wanted to smack him, even though I loved him dearly, and demand he stop asking me for favors with his eyes. What a shitty situation. He was practically begging me to go to get him off the hook, like I wouldn’t go anyway. My girl needed some time away, and the one person she wanted it with was leaving her for work. If I could, in any way, offer myself and my time as a consolation and make her feel better, of course I would.

I gave Deanna a faint smile, letting her know I knew she was disappointed but I was here. “I’d love a weekend with my bestie.”