Crazy Girl(46)

“She’s really in her element, isn’t she?” Courtney noted. Deanna and the other pregnant woman were chatting away like old friends. I had no doubt Deanna would slip right into the mommy group with ease, scheduling coffee play dates with her mommy friends.

Courtney was right though. The female body was made to have babies, but I believed it was more than that for some women. Deanna was born to be a mother; it was embedded in her soul. She was finally stepping into her destiny and it was amazing to witness. I bobbed my head a few times, realizing I was the last in the group without children.

That was a depressing thought.

Did I even want kids?

I decided not to harp on it. I had bigger fish to fry at the time.

“She’s happy,” I agreed.

“So what’s up with Wren?” Courtney asked, veering off into a completely different topic. One I wasn’t sure I wanted to discuss.

I shrugged as I inspected my nails, trying to look calm and casual was tough while on the inside flickers of the things Wren did to my body blazed through my mind. He was intense. And I couldn’t get enough of him.

Hands fisted hair.

Heels dug into the mattress.

His deep voice.

My back arched with pleasure.

His massive body under me, above me, the way he felt inside me.

Moans.

His coarse beard scratched against my face.

Skin slicked with sweat.

Teeth on flesh.

Legs trembled.

His relentlessness.

The way he pushed my body to take more than I thought it could, to give more than I thought it would.

Over and over, on a deliciously torturous loop, it played. I could never, under any circumstances, admit to Courtney, or anyone for that matter, just how much I thought about him. It was insanity—probably unhealthy. But Wren was my muse now. He inspired me. I’d latched on to him like a newborn to teat, and I was milking everything I could.

I’d called Courtney on the way home from Wren’s house Sunday and told her every detail of the weekend. Now she wanted more.

“Have you spoken to him since Sunday?” she asked.

And this is where what would otherwise be a seamless loop, skipped. I hadn’t. Not really. He’d texted a few times, but nothing with any real depth.

Hope you’re having a good day.

So tired. Heading to bed. Sleep well.

Maybe it was the romance author in me, but it added a sour note. How could two people share something as amazing as we had, and then go to barely talking at all? And as incredible as it had been, his lackadaisical communication since only reconfirmed my suspicions about him. He was a womanizer. It was just about the sex. And he probably had great sex with any woman. Why else would he have seemingly fallen off? Add that to the women’s items I found around his house like hair pins and women’s razors in his bathroom, and it was clear he wasn’t hurting for women to come to him. I wasn’t an idiot; I knew he’d been dating around with other women before me. But I did wonder what happened now. There had been no talk about exclusivity, so technically we were both free agents in the world of dating. Would he be sleeping with other women? Would he freely give them the orgasms he gave me?

“A few texts.”

Crossing her arms, she stared at Deanna, seemingly annoyed Deanna was talking to this stranger for so long, as she spoke to me. “Guys these days are always playing stupid games. Just roll with it…at least for now.”

I have no hopes for anything serious with this man. He’s a different breed than me. He scares me. But I want him. Though I don’t want to want him. He’s fascinating and alluring like a volcano; I was hiking to the top to see inside at the risk of being burned when it erupted. I needed to take from this man, stare into the burning magma and experience its beauty, but I wasn’t sure I could do it without falling in and being turned to ash.

I wanted to say all of this to Courtney, but I didn’t. The new me would carry herself with confidence. Or at the very least I’d make everyone think so. “I know,” I told her. “I know.”



After shopping, we went to dinner at a local diner.

“So did Kate show you guys the house plans? I would kill to have a back-porch setup like theirs,” Deanna stated before sipping from her water.

I glanced at Courtney in confusion. “House plans?” Were Kate and Will building a house? Why hadn’t she told me? Damn. Had I been that disconnected lately?

Courtney bit her lip. I knew what that look meant. She felt bad about something. Deanna noting our expressions, hung her head, before raising it and looking my way. “I just found out. I think she wanted to tell you herself, but here I am being a blabber mouth.”

I kept my gaze fixed on Courtney. Deanna had made an innocent remark, unknowingly letting out something that it appeared Kate was keeping from me.

“She wanted to tell you herself,” Courtney answered me, finally.

“I gathered that. How long ago did this start?” I asked.

“A few months ago.”

I looked away from her and fiddled with my silverware. I didn’t understand why Kate didn’t tell me. We were all best friends, right? I knew I hadn’t been myself in a while, but that was no excuse.

Courtney’s cell phone rang and she picked it up, checking the screen for who was calling. “This is Mike’s mom. She’s watching Turner so I gotta take it.” After Courtney hurried off, Deanna leaned over and rested her hand on mine.