Crave To Conquer (Myth of Omega, #1)(53)

All of the Mothers watched her carefully, and suddenly the truth of her situation descended over her. Tears stung her eyes and nose, and she blinked, trying to come to terms with what was happening.

“You are abandoning me,” she whispered.

“We have trained you and cared for you and supported you your whole life,” Mother Naysa, said gently. “You are one of our best. I don’t want to lose you, my daughter, but this cannot be helped. You have to accept change.”

“The whole Land has been talking about you—we thought the reports of an Omega in the Palace had been faked to bolster Drocco’s support,” said Fern quietly. “If it had been any other Alpha, or any other type of connection, we would have had more options before us.”

“You have found your true mate, Cailyn,” Mother Azia added. “It’s something that should be rejoiced. This is no punishment, this is a gift.”

“I don’t want him.”

“You don’t get to say that,” Mother Azia snapped. “Your life will be filled with pleasures almost no other Omega alive will ever experience. You have already had much that the Omegas in this Compound will never have.”

“Pleasure isn’t everything, Mother,” Cailyn said, her voice breaking. They couldn’t possibly understand the horror of who he was. “He is cruel, and vicious and is only concerned with conquering every challenge that arises. That’s what I am to him. A challenge—something precious only because no one else has it.”

“Did you take time to get to know him?” Mother Orlee asked. “To find out why he is the way he is? Did you have any honest and open conversations with him without any hostility, Cailyn? It is easy to judge when you don’t understand.”

Cailyn stared at her. “Did you hear how he tortured me?”

“Maybe he was as unprepared to deal with your connection as you were,” Mother Fern said.

“How can my true mate be someone I despise? Someone I never want to be around? You say you haven’t prepared me, but I know enough to know that it isn’t normal to hate your true mate.”

“Do you hate him?” Mother Fern asked. “Or do you hate his actions? Did you not find anything about him honorable or interesting?”

“It sounds like you don’t know him well enough to truly hate him, Cailyn,” said Mother Naysa.

Cailyn shook her head in disbelief. How could they be saying this?

“Being true mates doesn’t mean you never disagree or fight,” Mother Azia said. “It means that you’re highly compatible for breeding, it means you’re highly attracted to each other and cannot resist each other’s nature. It means that you are stronger together, and feel complete with each other. True mate couples achieve more and live longer. It is a gift, Cailyn. Even if you don’t think so.”

Cailyn lowered her head, tears stinging her eyes. “But he’s a monster,” she muttered. “How could I be the true mate of someone so…” She couldn’t find the word to complete her dejected thought.

“Did he purr for you?”

Cailyn lifted her eyes. Mother Azia had tears in her eyes and Cailyn suspected she too had experienced the purr of an Alpha. “Yes.”

“Then you know he isn’t a complete monster—he won’t be to you. You said he went days without mating you after he attacked you—did you know that goes against his nature? I have known Omegas on their deathbeds still mated and knotted by their Alphas as viciously as if they weren’t slipping away from this world. He restrained himself for your comfort and your comfort alone. He waited until you were ready to mate again and then let you lead the way. I would say he was trying to redress his actions, trying to apologize, in that confusing way that Alphas do.”

Cailyn was silent for a moment. “He threatened to hurt me when I left,” she said, quietly. “He said when he finds me he will do worse than he did before. You’re asking me to willingly go back to that.”

“He is angry you betrayed him, but he will calm if you return to him,” she said. “The longer you are apart, the more vicious he will become. He will not stop until he has you. That’s another reason why there is no point in you joining us again—you will put us in danger, especially since he already knows we exist. His memory will have to be modified too, if we can get access to him.”

Cailyn took a shaky breath and finally considered the idea. “I don’t know if I can really return to him, Mother. I don’t know if I can deal with who he is. He wants me to be submissive to him and he is keen to have multiple women for sex… When I left, it began to seem like it wasn’t really that intense—like it wasn’t real.”

“I can assure you it was real, Cailyn,” Mother said gently. “That kind of bond cannot be faked. It’s your blocks making it seem that way. As for who Drocco is… you just need to find a way to tame him for yourself. You have more power than you think. And although he may try, no Alpha will have an interest in any female that isn’t his destined Omega once he has met her, and certainly not once he has mated her.” Mother Azia smiled as glistening tears dropped onto her cheeks. “Go to your Alpha, my daughter.”

***

Cailyn wandered the market, her mind in turmoil.

Everything the Mothers had said revolved in her mind until one thing became clear; she could not return to the Omega Compound. She would never be able to return. She would never be a spy again, she would never see Viktoya or Amara or any of the Mothers. She cried silently as she walked, the market’s muddle scents and sounds blurring her senses. Her life had changed so dramatically, and she didn’t even know how it happened.