Conflicted (Everlasting Love)(24)

“I’m not ready to lose her, Jesse.”

“I know, darlin’.”

She tried to hold herself away from him, to stay tense and removed. But his warmth was insidious, winding itself around and inside of her until she melted against him.

They stayed that way for a long time—Jesse sheltering her against the fierce emotions ripping through her. Beneath his touch, her riotous emotions finally quieted, giving her a chance to think, to reason.

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t.”

She sighed. “Jesse.”

“No.” He shook his head, his voice firm. “Don’t apologize and don’t be embarrassed. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of here.”

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to say those things—”

“I said, don’t.” He shifted enough to look her in the eyes. “Desiree, you have a right to grieve for your mother. You don’t ever need to apologize for that.”

“I wasn’t.” The words came out stiff and formal. “I was apologizing for—” She searched desperately for the right word. “For saying those things. For treating you badly. For…inconveniencing you.” Her voice trailed away as she saw felt him tense against her.

“Inconveniencing? That’s what you call this?”

She shrank from his anger, suddenly defenseless. “I just thought—”

“What?” He grasped her chin in his hand, forced her to look at him. “Desiree, don’t you know what you mean to me?”

For one blinding moment, everything else disappeared. “No.” Her voice was little more than a whisper.

His eyes narrowed. “No what? You don’t know? Or you don’t want to know?”

Her heart stuttered in her chest. She wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say. As she stared into them, she saw something she’d never seen before. It sent shivers down her spine and created a strange heat between her thighs. She lifted one trembling hand to his face and ran her thumb over his mouth before she could stop herself. “Jesse.”

It was a plea and he knew it, though she barely understood what she was asking for. He cupped her face, his touch soothing and arousing at the same time. She closed her eyes, nervous, excited, determined to savor every second of contact.

“Look at me, Desiree.” Though his voice was low, it was no less an order. “I want to see your eyes when I do this.”

Slowly, so slowly that time seemed to stop, he lowered his lips to hers. Desiree’s heart thudded painfully in her chest and, for a moment, she forgot to breathe. He was going to kiss her. Jesse Rainwater was finally, finally going to kiss her. Not a simple brush of lips, like that long-ago moment in the barn, but a real kiss. Her lips parted of their own volition and though her eyes wanted desperately to close, she kept them opened, terrified that he would stop if she broke the spell.

Jesse stopped when his lips were barely an inch from hers. She willed him to come closer, to move that one last inch. But he didn’t. Instead he waited. Waited while his thumb stroked over her cheek. Waited while his eyes stared into hers. Waited until her nerves were frazzled, her body was taut and desire thrummed through her with every beat of her heart.

“Jesse,” she pleaded, breathless and achy.

“Desiree,” he answered, his voice tight and aroused.

“Now. Please, now,” she said, uncaring that she was almost begging.

He grinned darkly as he bridged the distance between them. “Now,” he agreed, just before his mouth covered hers.

Light exploded in front of her dazzled eyes, and need, sharp and painful, swept through her, buckling her knees before she could brace herself. She stumbled against him and Jesse held her more tightly, his arms strong and firm around her.

His lips moved against hers, coaxing her to open her mouth. She did and was instantly rewarded with more sensations than she’d thought it possible to feel. Soft. Warm. Deep. She sighed, cuddled closer and hung on for dear life.

He sipped from her. Devoured her. Absorbed her, until heat slammed through her and dizziness circled. His tongue brushed her top lip, traced her bottom lip, plunged inside and tasted her.

Desiree moaned and shut her eyes as the world spun. This, she thought as his tongue swept softly over hers. This is what she’d been waiting for. This is what she’d always known she would feel.

He pulled away, cupped her face in his hands. “Jesse.” Her voice was soft, dreamy, as she moved to recapture his lips.

“Desiree.” His was harsh, tight. “Let me take you home.”

“Jesse, no!” It was almost a wail. “Please.”

“Not here, darlin’.” His lips brushed against hers, comforting and arousing at the same time. “Not now.”

“Why not now?” she demanded, cupping his face in her hands and leaning into another kiss. Desiree could feel his resistance—and his desire—in the heat pumping from his body, could feel his inner struggle in the hands that refused to move from her shoulders.

He was shaking his head as he pulled his lips reluctantly from hers. “This can’t be because of what’s happening, Desiree.” He paused for a moment, as if he didn’t want to continue. “It can’t be because of your mother.”

“It’s not!”