Conflicted (Everlasting Love)(15)

Then she spun around and ran, full speed, toward home, knowing that her life had irrevocably changed. It might take her a few years, but Jesse Rainwater was going to be hers. He just didn’t know it yet.





CHAPTER FOUR




DAMN HER TO HELL. Jesse’s booted feet covered the distance from the house to the garden quickly, though he barely noticed where he was going. How could he have been so damn stupid, so goddamn gullible? He’d been softening toward her, thinking he’d made a mistake. Thinking that maybe, if he compromised a little more, things could change.

He tried not to focus on what a complete ass he’d really been. Knowing that he’d been feeling bad about the state of their marriage when all along she’d been hiring his replacement behind his back was enough to make him sick. And not only hadn’t she consulted him about it, but she hadn’t even had the courtesy to say a word about it. Not one damn word.

That pretty much showed what she thought of him, didn’t it? Not even the courtesy of a boss/employee conference to tell him that she didn’t think things were working out any longer, that she had gone and hired a new trainer to start in January. January—one month from now. One month, he assumed, so that he could show the new guy the ropes. Like hell.

He’d known—goddammit, he had known—when she’d come back from the races in Kentucky that something was up. Known that she was hiding something from him. Again. When he’d confronted her about it she’d laughed at him. Told him there was nothing wrong and that he was blowing things out of proportion.

Damn her!

It was the secrecy, more than anything else, that had made him think about divorce. He couldn’t take the deceit any longer, nor could he live with the knowledge that his wife wouldn’t confide in him. How had their marriage become such a sham when she was all he’d ever wanted?

He wanted to throw things, needed to hit something, was almost desperate to pick a fight just so he’d have something to throttle. Fury coursed through him, so powerful that it made him shake, nearly brought him to his knees.

It wasn’t that she’d replaced him. Or, he corrected himself with habitual honesty, it wasn’t just that she’d replaced him. It was that she had done so in such an incredibly devious way. That she hadn’t told him. That she hadn’t cared enough to worry about how and when he would find out.

Had she planned on telling him at all? Or was she simply going to bring Tom onto the ranch and expect Jesse not to notice? Maybe she thought the fifteen years he had on her had suddenly made him senile?

He stared blindly at the perfectly decorated garden, barely seeing the hundreds of chairs arranged in rows or the flower bedecked arbor where his daughter would say her vows in a little more than three hours. With a roar of agony he lashed out, kicking the chair next to him and starting a chain reaction that knocked it into the chair next to it and so on, until half the row lay in disarray.

Cursing, he bent to pick up the chair he’d originally kicked, only to feel his legs go out from under him. Weak-kneed, shaking, he sank into the nearest upright seat, his head in his hands.

“Dad, are you all right?”

Stiffening at the sound of Dakota’s voice, Jesse’s heart rate accelerated as he tried to compose himself.

“I’m fine. Just a stupid accident.” He stood stiffly, bent to pick up one of the fallen chairs.

“It didn’t look like an accident to me,” his son answered as he helped set the chairs to rights. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Jesse reached over and ruffled Dakota’s hair as he had done throughout his son’s childhood. “Long day, that’s all.”

“The wedding hasn’t even started yet. You getting old or something?” Dakota teased as he set the last chair back onto its feet.

“Must be.”

“Nah. Not you.”

Dakota leaned in, gave him a strong one-armed hug and Jesse found himself swallowing the lump in his throat. Was he really considering going to Kentucky—leaving not only his wife but his children behind? He shook his head to clear the cobwebs that suddenly made thinking impossible.

“You need help with anything?”

Jesse heard the words from far away, though it took him a minute to fight through his emotions enough to comprehend them.

When he didn’t answer right away, Dakota grabbed his biceps. “Are you all right? Dad?”

He shook it off, all of it—or at least buried it. The anger, the pain, the utter exhaustion. He could pull them out later and examine them when this day was over and his children were back to living their own lives.

“I’m fine. Just a little out of sorts.” He forced a grin and headed toward the stables. “I can’t believe I’m losing your sister. First Rio then Willow. Pretty soon it’ll be you.”

Dakota laughed as he fell into step next to his father, a careful arm still braced around Jesse’s shoulder. “No way. Now that Willow’s getting married and Rio and Brooke are talking about giving you your first grandchild, I figure I’m off the hook for a long while.”

“I wouldn’t count on that. You know your mother.”

Dakota laughed. “I do. Well enough to know that she’s so wrapped up in the ranch that she won’t give me and my single status more than a passing thought for the next few years.”