Concrete Rose (The Hate U Give, #0)(31)

I sit up. “For real?”

“Yeah. Not like you’re doing anything besides making a mountain out of those mashed potatoes.” Moe smirks. “Faye will understand. I’m sure Dre would, too.”

My throat tighten. “Yeah. A’ight.”

Moe squeeze my shoulder. I push away from the table and head upstairs.

The weather shouldn’t be as nice as it is today. The air got the kinda coolness that mean the state fair coming. Me and Dre would always hit up Midnight Madness. It’s the first Saturday of the fair, and from nine until closing you can get on as many rides as you want for fifteen dollars. They’d basically have to kick us out.

Almost everything make me think of him.

A bunch of big homies stand around Shawn’s silver Benz in the church parking lot. They helped a lot this week. Paid for the funeral, brought food for the family, checked on us constantly. They also bought my suit and shoes so I’d have something nice to wear to the funeral. After being so busy with work and my son, it felt good to know I’m still one of them.

Shawn on the hood of his car with a forty-ounce in hand. Dark shades hide his eyes. He hold his palm out to me. I slap it and let him pull me into a hug. Then he give me the forty-ounce. I pour out a little liquor for Dre and take a swig myself.

Shawn take the bottle back. “You too young for more than that. Dre would’ve got on me for letting you take that li’l sip.”

I almost smile. “He was a pain in the ass.”

“The biggest pain.” Shawn bow his head. “They really eulogized our brother today, Mav.”

“It was a beautiful service though,” P-Nut says. “Had me on some introspectalness, know what I’m saying?”

Hell nah, I don’t know. I doubt this fool ever picked up a dictionary in his life.

“Beautiful or not, this shit shouldn’t have gone down,” Shawn says. “I’m telling you, Mav, when I find out who did this, they as good as dead.”

I’m with him one thousand percent on that. “You know anything yet?”

“We pretty sure it was the GDs. Hard to say which one, since Dre ain’t have beef with none of them.”

That’s not true. “Dre did have beef with one.”

All the homies seem to be listening now.

Shawn sit forward. “What? With who?”

“This dude named Ant.” I see his short ass real clear.

“Ant.” Shawn say it, as if he tryna place it. “He a li’l light-skinned kid?”

“Yeah. He go to my school. He stepped to me on first day and said Dre better stop coming to the east to race for money. Now a few weeks later Dre dead? That ain’t no coincidence, Shawn.”

“It could be though,” Shawn says. “We’ll look into it before we make a move. Whoever did it, I’ll handle them myself. You got my word.” He hold his palm out for me.

Fact is, the fam won’t ever ask the police to solve Dre’s murder. Not like the cops care no way. Ma, Aunt ’Nita, and Uncle Ray will never say this out loud ’cause it ain’t something you wanna admit and street shit shouldn’t be discussed no way, but our family been King Lord–connected enough to know this one for the set to handle.

That’s where they wrong. “Nah. I need to handle this.”

Shawn lower his hand. “Whoa, hold up Li’l—”

“Nah, man! Dre was my blood. I can’t let nobody get away with killing my family!”

“Look, I’m mad as hell that Dre gone too,” Shawn says. “But I ain’t letting my homie’s li’l cousin get caught up. This don’t concern you no more.”

“Like hell it don’t!”

“I’m not making a suggestion, Li’l Don.”

All eyes on us, and I swear a couple of the big homies smirk.

My nostrils flare. If I was anybody else, it would be no question that I should handle my cousin’s killer. But I’m Li’l Don, the dude who weak compared to his pops. “You don’t think I can do it, do you?”

Shawn lift his shades, revealing two teardrops tatted under his eye for two people he killed. “You ever shot somebody, Li’l Don?”

I feel myself shrink. Fact is, I never even pulled a trigger. “No.”

“You got a gun?”

“I can get one—”

“I said do you got a gun?”

I clench my jaw. “No.”

Shawn pull his shades back down. “I thought so. We’ll handle it.”

“Weak,” P-Nut says, behind a fake cough. The big homies smirk. I’m nothing but a joke to them.

I storm toward the church. I found Dre with bullets in his head. The least Shawn could do is let me handle the dude who killed him.

But nah. I’m just a li’l kid who can’t live up to his pops’s name.

I’m gon’ prove all them fools wrong one day. Believe that.

I barely watch where I’m going, and I almost walk dead into somebody. “My bad.”

“Mav?”

It’s the sweetest voice I know.

Lisa got her braids in a bun and wearing a black dress. After what I did to her, she still came to my cousin’s funeral and repast.

“I was looking for you,” she says. “Moe told me you came outside and—are you okay?”