Concrete Rose (The Hate U Give, #0)(30)

I’m taking care of all them plus my son. Ain’t got time to grieve.

Today I gotta be real strong for the fam. Dre’s funeral in a couple of hours. Mrs. Wyatt came earlier and took Seven next door. Funerals not good for babies, and babies not good for funerals.

Ma peek in my room as I button up my dress shirt. She got on her black dress and some house shoes. She always wait to put on her heels. “You ready, baby? The limo will be at your aunt’s soon, and I want us to ride with the family.”

“Almost. Gotta put on my tie.”

She come in my room. “Let me do it. You’ve gotten so grown I don’t get to do much for you these days.”

“You more than welcome to change Seven’s diapers.”

Ma chuckles. “I’ll gladly leave those to you.” She stand on her tiptoes and drape my tie around my neck. I’ve towered over Ma for a while now, yet I always feel like a little boy when she in front of me. “Grandmas handle hugs, kisses, and cuddles. I spoil him, you clean him up. That’s the deal.”

I smile a little. “You got the spoiling part down pat.”

“Hey, your granny was the same way with you. Would spoil you now if I let her. She used to get you the cutest little outfits. My Stinka Butt was always sharp.”

“Maaa,” I groan as she laugh. “You gotta drop that nickname, for real.”

She brush her fingers through my ’fro. I took my cornrows down the other day and let my hair do whatever it want. “It doesn’t matter how old you get. You’ll always be my Stinka Butt.” Her lips start to tremble, breaking her smile, and tears build in her eyes. “I . . . I keep thinking of that night. We could be burying you today.”

Mrs. Wyatt paged Ma after she called 911, and Ma rushed straight home. Cops and people crowded our street, and she had to park a few blocks away. Ma ran toward our house, screaming my name. She hugged me like she’d never let go.

I wipe her cheeks. Ma’s tears the worst things to ever exist. “It’s okay, Ma. I’m a’ight.”

“No, you’re not. You haven’t cried since it happened, baby.”

The boulder feel heavier. I straighten up. “Don’t worry ’bout me.”

“All I do is worry about you.”

We stand here for a moment, and she won’t let my eyes look at nothing but hers. That boulder ain’t tryna break me—Ma is.

I can’t break, man. I can’t. I kiss the top of her head. “I’m okay, Ma.”

“Maverick—”

“C’mon.” I take her hand. “We gotta go if we wanna ride with the family.”

I was at Dre’s funeral, but I wasn’t.

I zoned out for most of it. Only remember bits and pieces. Dre lay in the coffin in a suit he should’ve gotten married in. Aunt ’Nita wailed so loud she screamed. Ma and Granny tried to calm her down, but they were crying too. Keisha almost passed out. Somebody took Andreanna outside so she wouldn’t have to see it all.

The whole set was posted up in the back of the church. King Lords stand during funerals so the family can have the seats—that’s the rules. Everybody had on their gray and black or T-shirts with Dre on them. King nodded at me as the family marched in, his way of telling me to keep my head up. He checked on me a lot this week.

Shawn got choked up as he spoke at the funeral. Folks in the pews told him, “It’s okay, baby” and “Take your time,” and that helped him finish. Then the pastor did the eulogy, I think. That’s what happen at funerals, right? After that, all I remember is the coffin lowering into the ground, taking Dre with it.

We in the church basement now for the repast. There’s fried chicken and side dishes lined up on a table, buffet-style. Granny fixed me a plate. She say I don’t got enough meat on my bones. But I’m just sitting here, pushing the green beans around in the mashed potatoes.

The whole family down here, including all my great-aunts and -uncles and cousins. Granny come from a big family. Ma over in a corner, talking to some of them. Moe right beside her, holding her hand for support. Aunt ’Nita and Uncle Ray sit with the pastor. Andreanna laugh and play with some of our little cousins, like they ain’t at a repast for her daddy’s funeral. Kids lucky that way.

I rest my head back and close my eyes. We supposed to be spending time together as a family. Meanwhile Dre in the ground by himself.

“Hey.”

I look up as Moe sit beside me. Granny call her that “big-boned brown gal.” She a nurse at some doctor’s office downtown. When I met her, she brought me a Tupac CD. We been cool ever since.

“How are you holding up, baby boy?”

“I’m a’ight. Is Ma okay?”

“She’s holding up. I’m just trying to be there for her.”

“I’m glad she got you for a friend.” I mean that. Ma could be stressed over bills or something with Pops. Once she and Moe hang out she all good again.

Moe give me a small smile. “I’m glad I can be there for her. You too, if you want. Y’all are a package deal.”

“I’m good long as Ma good.” I loosen my collar. Either I’m hot or this room cramped as hell. “I’ll be better once this repast over.”

Moe glance back at Ma then look at me. “I tell you what, why don’t you get outta here for a bit? I’ll let Faye know.”