Co-Ed(48)

“What was that for?” she asked in a voice I knew all too well. It was breathless; it was wanting confirmation; it said and asked all the things I knew we needed to discuss in one simple question. It was also the first time I’d seen uncertainty flicker across her face. I hated it. I hated even more that the reason for it had to do with my employment with Wingman, Inc. and my reputation around campus.

“A kiss,” I said after a few seconds of searching her deep brown eyes. “A damn good kiss.”

She pressed her palm to my cheek and leaned in. “I’ve had better.”

“Liar.” I walked around the car, got in, andstarted the engine.

She laughed, making me smile all the more as we drove around campus and finally found a parking spot.

I killed the engine, got out, and walked over to her side. She was already opening her door.

“Let me be a gentleman at least once in my life,” I murmured, helping her out of the car then dropping her hand.

Campus was busy. Students were everywhere, and one by one, as per usual, the whisperings began, the staring continued, and I could feel every single pair of eyes on the back of my heated neck.

Normally, I’d have put on my sunglasses and ignored everyone, pretending I was better than each human being surrounding me.

But today I didn’t feel normal.

My armor wasn’t in place.

My pissed-off demeanor had been completely calmed by the gorgeous woman standing next to me, leaving me vulnerable, drained, out of control, and stuck in a bit of a sexual chaos that my body was still trying to cool down from.

“So…” Shawn grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

Then didn’t let go.

I stared down at our joined hands like she’d just announced she was from ET’s planet and needed my touch to stay alive.

I mean.

We were holding hands.

Fucking. Hands.

I didn’t hold hands.

Not with women.

Not on campus.

Not since… her.

People knew that about me.

It was like the sad story you pass down to freshman to warn them away from parties, drugs, and guys with easy smiles and too much money.

I was the warning story.

It was why it made sense to stick with Wingman, Inc.

I could play the part for their own sick entertainment, while at the same time, making money and earning out my internship hours.

But now? Now that Shawn was holding my hand, it was like I suddenly felt even more empty than before.

More terrified.

Of the moment she found out, dropped my hand, and walked out of my life like she should.

“You’re holding my hand,” I blurted, squeezing her fingers back as we headed toward the science building.

“Yeah, you looked a bit panicked.”

“I don’t panic,” I said quickly.

“Sure you don’t.” Her voice was calm, her teasing tone gone, almost like she knew that I was having a mental breakdown and needed support.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Here I was getting ready to have the talk with her, and I couldn’t even get past the fact that we were holding hands and walking into the building together.

Down the hall.

More whispers.

Shit, this was a bad idea.

I didn’t let go, though.

Once we got to the classroom she let go of my hand and made her way up to Leo.

His eyebrows were basically caught up in his beanie as his jaw dropped to his desk. He held out a coffee to her while slurping on his own Frappuccino. His shit-eating grin was the last thing I needed right now.

As more students filtered in…

My anxiety dissipated.

And anger quickly took its place.

Anger at myself.

Anger at the students around us who were most likely tweeting about the hand-holding and saying nasty things about a girl they, no doubt, assumed had paid for the favor.

Fuck.

That was where my sexual hiatus left me.

With the one girl who didn’t pay me for it.

And an entire campus who thought she did.





Chapter Thirty-Three


Shawn

My neck heated as notifications started going off on my phone. Twitter and Instagram pictures with me tagged in them, and some with a giant question mark over my head. As if they were confused.

That made two of us.

Another tweet came through.



Forget tasting the rainbow. @KnoxT just wants a bit of chocolate milk. Too bad she’s a client.



The next one was worse.



Wonder how much @SoftballShawn paid him to hold her hand. Anyone else having flashbacks from 3 yrs ago?



Three years ago? What the heck happened three years ago?

My phone buzzed again. Leo swiped it from the desk and slid it into his pocket then wrapped a protective arm around me and whispered, “It’s just campus gossip. They’re bored. Don’t take it to heart.”

“Kinda hard not to.”

He squeezed.

Knox’s eyes roamed the room before finally locking on mine.

I’d never quite understood the whole dream people always said they had on the first day school where they imagined themselves standing in front of everyone naked. At least, not until that point. Now, I felt exposed, watched, judged. I felt myself being weighed and found wanting.