Close Cover (Masters and Mercenaries #16)(79)

The young man who’d died in combat. He was Luc’s father. “Does his family know about Luc?”

Seraphina shook her head. “They don’t care. They didn’t even let me go to Wesley’s funeral. I’m not from the right people. Because I’m his momma, neither is Luc. They’ve never asked about him, never come to see him. It’s okay. I want it that way. I can’t imagine life without my baby, and they would definitely not want me around him if they accepted him as a legitimate Beaumont. Wesley’s got a brother so I’m sure they’ll pass everything on to his kids. I don’t need them.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” She couldn’t imagine it. She’d never had to lose someone like that. She’d gone through a lot, but she hadn’t lost someone she couldn’t talk to again, didn’t have hopes of making things better with. Lila. God, her sister made her insane, and she had the sudden and deep desire to talk to her.

Forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves.

She’d heard the homily a million times. Sometimes forgiveness was easy. It was almost an afterthought. After she’d gotten away from her father and he’d died a few years down the road, she hadn’t given him another thought. Oh, some of the things he’d done still lived deep in her subconscious, but she didn’t think about the man himself. She’d moved on in her head.

Could she move on from Remy, her love for him only surfacing in those deep moments when everything else fell away and she was left with nothing but primal emotion? When she shed the society version of Lisa, would she mourn her choices? That she didn’t give him another chance? So much was made of perfection. Men couldn’t make mistakes because women couldn’t be doormats. Any flaw was to be culled until the perfect mate was found.

There was no such thing as perfection. None.

Seraphina looked back at her, tears in her eyes. “I wish I had another chance. I wish he’d known he had a son. I kept that from him because I was angry. Isn’t it funny how little that anger means now when I’m confronted with my son’s grace? Luc doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that I screwed up. He loves me and it’s pure and unconditional, and we can’t have that from each other as lovers. I know that. There’s always conditions on love between lovers, but shouldn’t we try for something better? Shouldn’t we hope we can love each other the way we were born to love?”

“It’s not the same.” She wasn’t na?ve. Seraphina wasn’t telling her this story out of a need to share. This was about Remy. This was a sister’s plea for her brother.

“I know, but I have to ask you—for me, for my brother—if you hold on to the wrong that was done to you, how do you have hands ready to reach out for what’s right? I think I have to let go of Wesley and all my anger so when I get another chance, I can grab it with both hands, and this time I won’t let go. If I get one more shot at really loving someone, at being a wife and a lover and a best friend, I’ll let go of everything that went wrong before and I’ll hold on for dear life. That’s what I’ll hold close to my heart. Love and not pain. I wish the same for my brother, but that choice has to be yours.”

A red basket of French fries dropped between her and Seraphina. Zep stared down at them. “There. Those are hand-cut fries to go with the sandwiches. And I remember what both of you like to drink. Sweet tea and if it’s a shitty afternoon, vodka tonic for Sera, and a super-buttery Chardonnay for you, Lisa. Because I do listen.” He turned and then swiveled again on his heels. “And don’t you dare give me tips. I don’t take tips from family. I live to serve my family.”

He walked away so primly she couldn’t help but laugh.

Sera smiled, too, though tears slipped from her eyes. “A long time. Like years from now he’s going to be a great husband to someone. Maybe it’s someone who isn’t born yet.”

Lisa laughed and then sobered as Remy walked in. His eyes moved over the dining room until he found her. There was no denying how he smiled her way, how his whole body seemed to relax now that he saw she was here and okay. He winked her way and then headed for the bar.

And she wished he’d walked down and taken her into his arms and kissed her until she couldn’t breathe.

“Think about what I said.” Seraphina lifted her glass. “Until then, welcome to Papillon, Lisa. I hope you enjoy your time here, and don’t sweat the lawsuit thing. The only lawyer who’ll take her is terrible. Of course he’s the only lawyer in town, and he mostly spends his time bailing Zep out of jail. We’ll have Momma put the gris-gris on him.”

“And then she can heal him.” It was a pretty good business now that she thought about it. She clinked glasses with Seraphina and then turned at the sound of the door to the kitchen being thrown open.

Remy walked toward the patio, his hand on his brother’s neck. “You wanted a job, brother. This is part of the job.”

“I wanted to serve pretty ladies drinks and get tipped, Remy,” Zep argued, his handsome face a bit pale. “I did not sign on to deal with stinky reptiles who don’t know where their damn place in the world is.”

Seraphina stood up and nodded. “Oh, Otis is visiting.”

Lisa felt her eyes go wide as she followed Sera’s gaze. A massive gator was strolling down the pier, out for a leisurely walk. He didn’t seem to mind that one of the tourists damn near jumped out of his skin running the other way. “Holy shit.”