Close Cover (Masters and Mercenaries #16)(78)

“Sera, I don’t know that we should talk about this,” she began.

“I think we should because I bet Remy isn’t doing a lot of talking right now.” Sera turned and it was easy to see the conviction in her eyes. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but Zep says you’re not sleeping together. There isn’t a woman in the world who Remy can’t charm into bed, so I have to think you’re either lying to the town for some reason and my brother isn’t your type, or he did something wrong. If you and Remy are nothing more than friends, you should know no one here is going to care. I know small towns have bad reputations for being intolerant, but that’s honestly not who we are. If you like women, you don’t have to hide it. Now, Momma will try to set you up with a woman named Christine. This would be a mistake. She’s been trying to set up that crazed harpy for years. She made a bet with my cousin, Susan.”

Wow, Seraphina could talk. “I’m not a lesbian.”

Sera nodded slowly, as though thinking the problem through. “So Remy did something stupid.”

“We’re kind of taking a break. From the physical.” Not that she wanted to. It seemed like Remy had become a bit prudish. Or he knew how much she craved his hot bod and he was manipulating her with it.

“Then he did something really stupid.”

It didn’t look like she was getting out of this one, but then this family seemed very nosy. Perhaps it was foolish to think they could sell this story to them. “He lied to me about something important.”

“That doesn’t sound like my brother. He tends to be incredibly honest.”

She shrugged. And then told the damn truth anyway. “I think he thought he was doing what was best for me. But what he did hurt me a lot. I need some time to think about it and honestly, I have a family in Texas I should probably get back to. I came down here with him because I promised I would help him get Guidry’s running smoothly.”

Not exactly a lie, but Remy had instructed her she wasn’t to tell anyone about the trouble back in Dallas.

“So you were with him but now you’re not, and you nearly murdered Josette over a man you’re not involved with,” Seraphina summed up.

“Pretty much. I was drunk the other night. I lost control.”

“Or your inhibitions were lowered and you showed us all what you want deep down.” The pretty blonde leaned in, looking thoughtful. “The last time my brother was in town I didn’t treat him properly. It was a bad time for me. I blamed him for walking away because once Remy’s steady hand wasn’t guiding me, I got very lost. I was an adult and he’s only five years older than me. He’s not my father. Our daddy died when we were in our teens. But I still blamed him for leaving me and Zep behind.”

“My brother raised me.” And he’d been the one who asked Remy to keep the secret. Will was the most important man in her life. Had been the most important man in her life before she’d fallen for that Cajun. What would she have done in his place? Had it started one way and turned out another? She hadn’t gone into the relationship thinking she would fall madly for him. Why should he have done that?

Should he have held his hand out and stated that he couldn’t sleep with her because he had more than one reason to do so? Or had he looked at her and all that mattered was that they both wanted it?

Still, there was that voice in the back of her head telling her she couldn’t be that girl who simply forgave. That girl was a doormat. That girl was the one everyone rolled their eyes over and talked about how she was setting back every woman in the world.

“Then you understand how I feel about Remy,” Seraphina said. “I want him to be happy. I think you make him happy. Oh, not lately. Lately you make him miserable, but the only reason he would be sad is that he loves you and he screwed up. Because if you were the one who’d screwed up and you’d done it honestly, he would have forgiven you. It’s who he is.”

She didn’t like the idea that Remy was some kind of saint. “Like I said, he hurt me. Quite a lot.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been on the other side.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been the person who hurt someone.” Her gaze went to where Luc was smiling at his playtime friend. He was heartbreakingly cute. His hair was darker, but those eyes were pure Guidry. What would Remy’s son look like? His baby girl? Her heart clenched at the thought of Remy having kids with someone else. Seraphina continued talking, her voice wistful. “I hurt the hell out of Luc’s daddy and I would do anything to make that up to him. I lie awake at night thinking about how good it would be to stand in front of him and drop to my knees and beg him to forgive me. Isn’t that funny? Getting to my knees and begging, oh that’s my sweet dream. Even when he doesn’t forgive me. Even when he turns me away, I wake up smiling.”

Tears blurred her eyes because there was only one reason Seraphina would smile at the thought of her lover rejecting her. “How did he die?”

Her nose had gone red, emotion taking over. “He joined the military after I broke his heart. He came from the richest family in town, so I know he definitely didn’t do it for money. It was to get away from me. I didn’t know I was pregnant when he left town. I didn’t try to call him when I figured out I was pregnant. I got angry with everyone. I told myself I was going to give myself time to figure out what I wanted to do, and that meant staying angry with him because he left me. Yes, I was at fault, but he walked away. He didn’t stay around, didn’t call to see how I was. He left and didn’t look back, and I thought love meant more than that. And then the soldiers came to his momma’s house. Not mine. I wasn’t his next of kin. I gave birth to his son and I still wasn’t Wesley’s kin.”