Close Cover (Masters and Mercenaries #16)(57)

Now it was her turn to go still. Why would he say that? “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t know about that. She hadn’t told him. She never told anyone about what happened that night. No one except her siblings. She hadn’t meant to tell them, but one night she’d woken up screaming and she hadn’t been able to hold back. No one should know how weak she’d been.

Remy reached out, covering her hand with his, and for a moment she wanted so badly to turn her hand over and tangle their fingers together. She wanted to ask him to climb into this stupid hospital bed with her and hold her for the rest of the night. Maybe it was all a bad dream and she would wake up and none of today would have happened. She would hold on to him and tell him about her dream and he would laugh and tell her she was silly because he wouldn’t lie to her and he would never, ever really leave without her because the truth was she was his home now.

Instead she stared at him because she knew she was awake and this was real.

His hand was warm on hers. “Chèrie, you don’t have to worry. I fucked up tonight. I let you out of my sights. I’m not going to do it again. And you are in charge. I have to work when we get home, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to accommodate you. You’re not locked away. No one will ever do that to you again. Ever.”

She pulled her hand away. “He had no right to tell you. That was private.”

“I needed to know. I can’t truly protect you if I don’t know what you’re afraid of, what you’ve been through. Lisa, you could have really hurt yourself. You need to understand that I’ll come for you. I’ll find you. No matter where you are. I will find you. I promise. I won’t stop until I find you.”

“Yeah, I guess losing that hundred K would put a damper on your day.” She didn’t want to listen to his earnestness. He was an excellent actor when he wanted to be. He could make a woman melt when he started talking. “I’m afraid your game is up. They’re going to have to pro rate your fee because I’m done playing the fool.”

He sat up, his lips firming before he spoke. “You aren’t a fool of any kind. I told you. The fact that I was your bodyguard has nothing to do with being your lover. They’re two different things. I assure you I reacted like your lover earlier this evening and not some cold-ass professional bodyguard. If your brother should fire me for something, it’s that. I panicked when I thought I lost you. I couldn’t think. I didn’t even try to follow him. It wasn’t even a choice I made. Javier had to. He still lost him, but at least he tried. All I could do was cry and hold you.”

She couldn’t buy into it. Oh, she wanted to because the man could sell it. But she couldn’t trust him again. And she definitely couldn’t trust herself. She made bad, bad decisions.

“I think you should leave now.” The last thing she wanted him to see was how she was going to cry over him. The tears were right there, weighing on her, desperate to get out.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He sat back. “Lisa, this is not a problem. I told your brother earlier tonight that he could keep the money. I would do all of this for free. I’ll find another way to buy the wharf. My house might bring in more than I think it will.”

She’d driven by his house all those months ago. Stalker. Pathetic, sad stalker. “I doubt that. Take whatever they’ll give you and go home, Remy. Be happy. I’ll try to do the same here.”

He shook his head. “I cannot be happy without you.”

“Then you should have thought of that before you lied to me.” She could handle a lot but trust was everything to her. He’d broken it and broken them. She wouldn’t be able to trust him again. Every word that came out of his mouth would remind her that he’d started their relationship with a lie.

Had he ever wanted her? Maybe he was like most guys and he could get an erection from a stiff breeze.

Her whole body responded to him, to the mere fact that he was in the room with her. The minute she sensed him close, her skin became electric, her body magnetic and flowing to him. Briefly she’d felt whole.

He stood up, pacing the floor. “I want you, Lisa.”

“Not enough to tell me the truth.”

Remy turned to her, his whole face flushed, his eyes pleading. “Please don’t give up on me.”

The moment seemed to stop, her looking at him and those words burrowing in, blasting past her defenses. But she was stronger now. She knew who he was. He was trying to save his job. Trying to save his family and his town.

She wished he’d simply asked her.

“Remy, could I have a moment with my sister?”

Will was standing there. Will was in the room. The one damn person in the world she couldn’t ever turn away.

Remy looked like he didn’t want to leave, but he finally turned to Will. “I’ll be outside. I’m going to stand guard. I won’t allow her to be alone.”

“I know.” Will put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he could leave. He looked at Remy, as serious as she’d ever seen him. “I know where you are, brother. Let me talk to her.”

Remy nodded and looked back once, his eyes empty.

She was relieved when the door closed behind him. But then she was alone with another man who’d betrayed her. “How could you tell him?”