Chaser (Dive Bar #3)(38)

“Visiting.”

“Jean’s in the shower?”

“Yes.”

Her gaze flicked to the baby, because I obviously couldn’t be trusted with shit. Let alone something as precious as Ada. Then she started unpacking the food and putting it into the fridge. Taking out the old containers and chucking them in the trash.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” she eventually asked.

“Me visiting?” I rose to my feet, not wanting any hint of cranky around Ada. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

I glanced back at Ada. No change there, she was still happily beating the crap out of her toys. All good. “Nell, what’s your problem?”

She shot me a look. I couldn’t read it.

“I know we’ve been through some tough times and I let you down.” I swallowed hard. Jesus, just the thought of the accident and her losing the baby and everything made my knees turn to jelly. “I’m owning that. But do you really think I’m out to harm Jean and Ada here?”

“I warned you to stay away from her when she first arrived,” she bit out.

“We’re friends. Deal with it.”

“I warned you—”

“Jesus, Nell.” I hung my head. “We’re not kids anymore. This isn’t the damn schoolyard. You don’t get to tell me who I can or can’t see.”

“She has enough to deal with being a single parent.”

“I am not trying to add to her problems.”

She huffed out a laugh. It wasn’t the I’m-happy-and-having-fun type. “You don’t have to try, Eric. It’s just who you are.”

“Christ.”

She said nothing.

“Jean and I are friends. End of story,” I said. “If you don’t like it, I honestly don’t care. That’s your problem, not mine.”

A muscle twitched in her jawline. “I’m just trying to protect her.”

“What have I done to hurt her, hmm? Tell me.”

“What you always do. Anytime the heat is on, you’re out,” she said. “Take just zipping off to California for a few weeks.”

“Are you blaming me for being around her, or for not being around for her?” I snapped. “Make up your mind.”

“You’ll screw up eventually, Eric. You can’t help it.”

The venom in her voice … hell. I rocked back on my heels. “You actually hate me, don’t you?”

“No, of course not,” she said. “But I’m wary of you. I know you too well to be anything else. And I don’t want you hanging around my friend who is young, alone, and vulnerable.”

Christ. “I thought we could get along, move past all of this. But that’s not going to happen, is it? Maybe we should just sell the Dive Bar.”

“Maybe we should.” Nell rubbed at her temples, not saying anything for quite some time. The silence was not comfortable. “Look, just promise me you’re not going to hit on her or anything.”

“Sure.” Possibly feeling just a wee bit defensive, I crossed my arms. “I am not going to hit on Jean. I promise.”

“Are your fingers crossed?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Swearing under my breath, I held my arms out straight, fingers splayed. “I repeat. Not going to hit on Jean.”

“You really think you can be friends with a woman you find attractive and not want to sleep with her? Really?”

“Yes.” My jaw tensed. “I can. Jean has a lot on her plate and I want to help her. We’re just friends and that’s the way it’s going to stay.”

Her eyes couldn’t have possibly gotten any wider. “God. You actually believe that, don’t you?”

I counted to ten. Slowly.

“Come on, Eric, you have to admit this is unprecedented,” she said. “You actually caring about anyone outside of yourself.”

“You think I can’t make decisions with the big head, huh?”

“I know you can’t. Especially when you’re attracted to the woman,” she said. “And I know you’re into Jean. The way you behaved when she first arrived was ridiculous. I’ve never seen your tongue hanging so far out of your head.”

I wasn’t even going to dignify that with a response.

“Well?”

“If you’re convinced I’m so terrible, then why are we even talking about this?” I crossed my arms again. The whole fucking conversation got under my skin in the worst way possible.

“All right, I’ll try to withhold judgement.”

“Big of you, Nell.”

She exhaled. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

Without another word, she headed on over to play with Ada. I probably should have just left. Only who knew what Nell would say to Jean about me going. Something along the lines of undependable, ruled by his penis, and out to destroy your life, no doubt. Plus, I’d told Jean I’d be here looking after the baby while she took a shower. Screw it, I was staying. The evil ginger woman would not chase me out. Jean and Ada were the best things to happen to me in a long time. Being with them made me feel good, gave me a purpose. They made me want to be better, to do better. No messing around, no sex or anything to make things confused. I was going to be someone they could both rely upon if it killed me.