Chaos and Control(59)

“Sigh,” Bennies says wistfully. “Joey was the one that got away. I think he may have ruined me for other men.” She stares off into the distance.

“Well, while you’re having this moment of self-discovery and blaming that poor boy for your single life, why don’t you call Laney and see if she wants to come along?” I watch her reaction carefully, anticipating another excuse or lie. She just shakes her head. “Come on, Ben. You need some sunshine and fresh air. Doctor’s orders.”

“You’re a doctor now? Doctor of what?” Bennie marks her page and folds her book closed, waiting.

“Doctor of Good Times. Now, get dressed.”

She huffs but shuffles off to her room to change while I call Preston. He’s down to go and insists on driving us. As we climb into the truck, I buckle up and tuck myself into his side. Bennie sits on the passenger side and rolls down the window. Her oversize sunhat sits in her lap.

Preston is in long shorts and a black beater. The feeling of his bare skin on mine sends my mind flying into thoughts of touching and tasting. On the drive, Preston and I discuss our favorite albums while Bennie keeps quiet. Until I mention the Black Crowes.

“‘Walk Believer Walk’ changed my life,” Bennie says. “That song is so…”

“Sexy,” Preston finishes.

“Sexy as hell,” Bennie continues. “That man is one hell of a songwriter.”

“But surely that’s not your favorite album by them,” I say. “Shake Your Money Maker was super impressive, especially as a debut album. I mean, ‘Hard to Handle’ defined them as artists.”

Bennie nods excitedly. “I love ‘She Talks to Angels.’ It’s beautiful and dark. I always identified with that song.”

Preston pulls into the park, and our music conversation is abandoned. There are plenty of people out and about today, but we find a nice spot on the far side of the lake. Bennie carries our blanket while Preston insists on toting the cooler and basket of food.

“Do you guys mind the shade?” Bennie asks.

“That’s good,” I answer. “I plan on going in the water today.”

Preston makes a disgusted face and sets down our stuff. “That water?” He points toward the lake with a shaky finger.

“Yes, that water. You’re not coming in?”

Bennie spreads out the blanket beneath the branches of a huge tree and sits. She takes out her book and ignores us.

“Hell, no. Too many unknowns.”

“What do you mean? It’s just water. There are tons of people in the water, and none of them will die.”

“That water could contain bacteria that can cause anything from vomiting to deadly infections. Cyanobacteria, E. coli, random pathogens, and pollution.”

Preston gives me a sad look, and I realize that nothing will make him change his mind. This is not an option for him, and I understand that.

“Just, no,” Preston says, shaking his head.

“Okay. I’ll go alone.”

I pull my shirt off and toss it onto the blanket before shimmying out of my shorts. I adjust my bikini, making sure everything is in place, and notice Preston’s eyes following my hands. Moving slower and more deliberately, I skim my fingers over my tattoo and down to the edge of my bottoms. When I’m sure I have his undivided attention, I kick my shorts at him, covering his head. With that, I laugh and head to the water.

It’s a warm summer day topped with blue skies and big fluffy clouds. The distant sounds of kids playing carries on the breeze as I step into the lake. The water is surprisingly cool and instantly brings childhood memories to the forefront of my mind. I walk out until I’m waist deep and dive under. When I surface, I let my arms and legs drift up and float on top of the water.

I close my eyes as the sun warms my exposed skin. Behind my lids, Preston’s face appears. My lips curl into a smile. I think about what a complex and beautiful man he is. Broad shoulders, towering height, and every bit of muscle flaunts his masculinity. And on the flip side of that, his tics, his obsessive behaviors make him vulnerable in a way he hates and a way I adore. If only I could make him see himself through other people’s eyes. He would know that he is kind, sexy, hardworking, talented, smart, and so very pretty.

Swirling my arms through the water, I propel myself in lazy circles. Twenty minutes later, I emerge from the lake to find Bennie and Preston in a heated conversation. His features are hard, his frown prominent as he says something to her. Bennie just shakes her head over and over while gesturing wildly with her hands. They both quiet down when I am close enough to hear.

“Everything okay?” I ask, grabbing a towel from our bag.

Preston gives me a forced smile while Bennie pretends to read. “Yeah, we’re good. I was just telling Bennie that she should take some time off.”

I take a seat in the grass, determined to let the sun dry me. “Oh, you’ll never win that battle. I’ve been trying forever. You would think with the current situation, she’d listen.”

Preston gives her a menacing look. “You would think.” He pulls a bottle of water from the cooler and passes it to me. “You hungry?”

“Not yet.” There’s a beat of silence as a gust of wind blows over us. “So, no lake water, huh?”

“No. There are too many variables.”