Chaos and Control(36)

I squeeze my trembling fingers into fists and force more deep breaths into my lungs. Dylan’s voice echoes in my head, fluttering around like a spooky noise in the night. It jars me from my place on the floor. I jump up and hurry toward my room.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I mumble. “Save me some coffee, please.”

She nods, and I can feel her gaze on me until I’m across the kitchen and safely behind my door. I lean against it and claw at the wood, fighting the tears that threaten to fall. I tell myself not to be afraid of him, not to let him make me a hostage again. I convince myself that he’s halfway across the country. But there is that nagging voice pointing out the GPS device from my bag and the fact that he has Bennie’s phone number.

I grab the snow globe from my windowsill and hold it up in the light. It’s such a peaceful scene, so tranquil. The memories from that day flash through my mind. It was a cool, sunny day. Seagulls squawked overhead as we leaned against the railing and watched the rushing water fall over the edge. We were all smiles and sweet flirting, completely infatuated with each other.

It was the calm before the storm. I shake up the globe in anger and set it back down, trying to hold on to the last bit of my strength.

After my shower, I sit on my bed, staring at the wall separating me from Preston. All I can think about is seeing him. This intrusion of Dylan into my small-town escape is enough to have me thrown off guard. But I don’t let him win. I make myself get dressed, I force myself to stay calm. I stare at this wall, willing Preston to know that, despite feeling strong right now, I need him.

“Wren?” Bennie says through the door. Her voice is accompanied by a soft, hesitant knock.

I walk to the door and open it to find her worried face on the other side.

“Yeah?”

“I was going to go spend some time with Laney again. Unless you need me here?”

With that little question, she is asking me for answers without actually asking. This is one of my favorite things about Bennie.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”

“Not yet,” I beg.

Bennie nods. “I’ll give you a couple of days, but that’s it.”

“Thanks, Ben. More man bashing today?”

Bennie gives me a smile. “Something like that.”

“Go on. Have fun. I’ll find some way to entertain myself.”

“Okay, kid.”

She gives me a nod and is out the door before I can change my mind. I let out a breath and slump against the wall. It’s Monday, so the shop is closed. I can’t see Preston that way. Looks like I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.

In the hall, I knock on Preston’s door and wait. Music pounds through the walls; all I can make out are heavy bass beats. It’s a full minute before he opens the door. It’s the exact same scene as last Monday. He is in a black beater and gym shorts and glistening with sweat. He hasn’t shaved yet, and I want to scrape my nails across that stubble. This time he has a towel in one hand. I stand there, silent, as he wipes his face and chest down.

“What exactly are you doing in there?” I ask. The unmistakable lyrics and heavy guitar riffs of Rage Against the Machine spill into the hall and give my words a pulse.

Preston shakes his head as if he’s not going to answer, but then he does. “Just working out.”

“Every Monday?” I step toward his door.

“Every day,” he answers.

I take another step and now stand within arm’s reach. He doesn’t stink like a sweaty gym sock. He smells like man and a sweetness that I want to know more intimately.

“Did you need something, Wren?”

I shove my hands in my pockets and take a deep breath. “I just, uh, I wanted to see if you could hang out today. But I mean, you don’t have to. You’re busy, I’m sure. Bennie’s gone, and I don’t want to be alone.”

Preston frowns at me, his brows dipping heavily over concerned eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why? I’m fine,” I say. I meet his gaze in an effort to convince him. I try to ignore what a hypocrite I am, demanding the truth from everyone while I hide behind my own lies.

“Well, I leave for my appointment at 12:15 and won’t be back until after three o’clock.”

“Oh,” I say, retreating. I shrug and look back toward Bennie’s apartment. “I didn’t realize that was every Monday.”

He nods and moves forward when I move away.

“But, you could come with me to Franklin,” he offers. “If you could find something to do while I’m at my appointment, we could hang out after?”

His words shoot through me like sun through gray clouds. I am warmed and overjoyed by his offer. I can’t help the smile that lights up my face.

“I’d love to.”

Preston returns my smile and wraps the towel around his fist before unwinding it again.

“Okay,” he says. “Don’t be late. I have to leave at 12:15.” Preston taps his watch.

“I won’t be late.”

“Good. I’ll see you at 12:15.”

“You certainly will, Preston-who-works-out-every-day.”

He chuckles as his gray eyes shine in the ambient light from the hallway. I head back toward Bennie’s as he pokes his head into the hall and watches. When I reach her door, I spin and face him once more.