Bullet(94)

I touched his shoulder, wanting to hold him, but I knew it wouldn’t be right. “I know, Brad. I know.”

He looked up at me. “If he ever touches you again, I’ll probably kill him.”

“He won’t. Ethan and I are done. Forever.”

It might have taken me years and a lot of growing up, but I knew in that moment, as I looked upon the man I really loved and then looked over at my precious baby boy, that I really was done with Ethan. I couldn’t save him. All I could hope for would be that he would save himself before it was too late.

* * *

Oh, God, I felt so good. I felt satisfied, endorphins rushing through my body, filling me with happiness after the pleasure rush I’d just experienced. He pulled me close, making me warm.

His hands were stroking my back, and I kissed his chest. My God, I could never, would never grow tired of this man.

“Mommy, mommy!” Chris ran in the room, and I almost panicked. I hoped my cries of satisfaction hadn’t awakened him. We rarely ever indulged in morning sex, but having my neck nuzzled had made it impossible for me to contain myself this particular morning.

I was still wearing the loose t-shirt I’d slept in, and I was glad. My son wouldn’t get a surprise if the sheet fell down. “Come on up, sweetie.” He climbed up on the bed. Even through the sheet, the tiny bulge of my tummy was noticeable. Chris touched it. “Baby?”

“Yes, baby, honey.”

“We love baby.”

“Yes. We love baby.”

“Daddy Brad?”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“You love baby too?”

Brad chuckled. “Yeah, of course, I love the baby.”

It was his child, so I knew he did, but I didn’t see how he could love the baby more than he’d grown to love my son. Brad lifted Chris up over me and rolled on his back, resting Chris on his abdomen. I thought back over the last year and a half. So much had changed. After all my worrying, I hadn’t needed to move out my house. Ethan did instead, moving in with some trashy woman who was just as into heroin and other crap as he was. And I worked on me. I finally had the throat surgery I should have had years before. Brad and I had kept our distance for a while, but I invited him over for dinner one night, and we wound up confessing our love for each other.

Ethan, though…he just couldn’t stop hurting me. He refused to grant me the divorce at first, so we battled it out for months. He kept holding Chris over my head too, threatening to try to take custody, even though he and I both knew that was ridiculous. No judge in the country would give Ethan sole or primary custody of his son. But I did want Ethan to be a part of his son’s life, no matter what he’d done to me.

Ethan finally hit bottom again and spent several months in rehab. He cleaned up, and he visited me…and Brad, because by that point, we were living together. Brad had put his house up for rent and moved in with me. Ethan didn’t try to beg for me back like he’d done multiple times in the past. I think he was starting to see the light. I could only hope. He apologized and said he wanted to see Chris as often as possible.

And he finally granted me the divorce and wished me happiness.

A week later, he and Brad talked out how they would get the band back together. And then he took Chris for a weekend of father-son bonding. It was too late then, though, because I saw how Chris looked at him. Sure, Ethan was his father, but Brad had become his daddy. No, Chris didn’t hate his real father, but he didn’t understand how Ethan fit in his life. Brad was the man who’d been there for him.

Brad wrote me a song too, and it was then that I realized he’d never lied to me. Not once. He had fallen for me the first time we’d met and, just like he’d promised, he’d waited for me. The women, even Karen, weren’t much more than something to pass the time in an attempt to fill that emptiness.

Yeah…he’d waited for me to realize that Ethan wasn’t the man for me. And when that hit me, I started crying. He’d been playing the song on his acoustic and singing it to me from across the room. When he finished and saw me crying, he rushed to my side to ask what was wrong. I was overcome with emotion, and he swept me off my feet and made love to me.

I’m pretty sure that was the night I got pregnant.

And now we’d settled into some semblance of normalcy. I looked over at Brad bouncing Chris, and I laughed when my child laughed. Brad looked at me, that deep look in his eyes, and he kissed me and then sat up, bringing Chris into a big hug.

“So what are we doing today?” I asked.

“I’m doing band practice this afternoon.” Fully Automatic was working on their third album, and the powers that be seemed to think Ethan’s meltdown and rehab stint would actually help sales. Brad had also been hinting that he wanted me to sing a song for this one since I had my voice back. But that was a conversation for another time.

“So…breakfast in or out?”

Chris sat between Brad and me, and he said, “I want pana-cakes.”

I tousled his hair. I loved how he said some of his words, and that was one of the cute ones.

“With maple syrup?” I was hoping to goad him into another one of his cute words.

“No. Boo-berry.”

I smiled. “Well…” I looked at Brad. “Does Daddy Brad have all that stuff?”

“Nope. I think we’ll have to go out for boo-berry.”

“I get my shoes,” Chris said and slid off the bed to walk to his room.

Brad moved closer and kissed me. “So…we’re getting the little guy pancakes. What’re we gettin’ his mama?”

“A cup of decaf, I think.”

“Is that all?”

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Uh…there’s something else I think you should get.”

I raised my eyebrows and grinned. “And what would that be?”

He flashed me a wicked, knowing smile and then rolled over and opened the drawer on the nightstand next to his side of the bed. “Close your eyes.”

“Do you have hash browns over there?”

I could hear the smile in his voice. “Close your eyes, Val.”

So I did, but I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I felt him roll back over and grab my hand. I opened my eyes and saw that he was holding a beautiful but simple platinum ring with a pear-shaped diamond. “Will you marry me, Valerie Quinn?”

I hadn’t thought I wanted to get married again. After all I’d been through with Ethan, I didn’t think I wanted that sense of permanency. But this was Brad…and in just the short time we’d spent together, I knew he would always treat me right, and I knew too that I would always love him. I smiled and kissed him. “Yes, yes, I will, Brad Payne. I will marry you.”

I don’t know that I’d ever seen him looking that happy. He slid that ring on my finger, and that’s when I knew he’d planned it all out. It fit perfectly, so I suspected he’d taken one of my rings to the jeweler to have it sized.

Chris came back in the room and placed his shoes on the bed before climbing back up. Then he grabbed them and came over to my side. I rolled over to look at him. “Why are you crying, mommy?”

“Because, I think, my life is finally perfect.” Brad touched my belly, and Chris placed his hand on top of Brad’s. “No, I take it back, sweetie. I don’t think. I know my life is perfect.” I knew now that—no matter what happened from here on out—my life would be as perfect as it could ever be. Brad would see to that.