Broken Pasts(28)

I rolled onto my side and tried to sleep, tried to think of anything and anyone other than Nathaniel, but I couldn't. I just kept imagining his chiseled chest, his biceps, the feel of his hard cock pressing against me through his slacks. It didn't help that I could hear his steady, quiet breathing in the still air. All that did was serve to remind me of the sounds he'd made when I'd touched his skin, pressed my body against his.

Theresa, my inner voice began as my hand slid under the blankets and brushed against the silken fabric of my panties. It only took one touch to shut her up, to give into the feelings that had been bubbling up inside of me since I'd first seen Nathaniel. Our little romp in the living room hadn't helped either. In fact, I'd have to say that it had only made things worse. What if he hears you? I wondered as I worked my fingers in gentle circles. Well then, wouldn't that be nice? And then my brain went wild, supplying images of Nathaniel spinning around, ripping off his tie and leaping into bed with me, pressing me into the sheets with the warm weight of his body, kissing my lips with fevered passion and nibbling the skin on my breasts with his teeth. It was so real that I swore I could feel his hands on me, that I could hear him breathing.

I paused.

You know the whole 'on the lawn there arose such a clatter' bit from The Night Before Christmas? Well, this was like that only it wasn't from the lawn, it was from across the room, and it wasn't a clatter, it was Nathaniel. Moaning.

“Don't stop,” he said as I rolled onto my back and tried to spy him on him through the silver gloom of the bedroom. The moon's light was doing little to illuminate my bodyguard, but there was one thing I knew for sure: that break in the dark, that pale circle in all of that black, was his ass. I stared opened mouth as I listened to the noises from the doorway. Please God, don't let Rhea wake up, I thought, but I couldn't ask Nathaniel to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to join him.

I slid my hand down the skin of my belly, brushed across the dark curls there and found my clit. Theresa McMaster, I thought as I writhed in the pillows, moved my hand to the tune of Nathaniel's breathing. You are a f*cking pervert.

“Come over here,” I whispered in the dark. Or moaned in the dark. Same difference. “Nathaniel … ”

“I can't,” he breathed. “If I get in bed with you, I won't be able to get back up, Theresa.”

“Like you're any more prepared standing there with your dick in your hand,” I whispered fiercely back at him, but I never stopped masturbating and neither did he. I moved my hand down the slick wetness between my legs and inserted my fingers, imagined that they were Nathaniel's and copied the motions he'd used on me earlier. It was like having a magic wand. “Nathaniel … ” I whispered as I found that sweet spot and my eyelids fluttered like butterflies.

“Theresa … ” he called softly back as I found the big 'O' for the second time in a single day. Pretty impressive for someone whose total life score was also two. I came into my hand, wishing it was Nathaniel, wishing he wasn't such a good bodyguard, that he wasn't so f*cking sexy, and bit my goose down pillow to keep from screaming.

Afterward, when Nathaniel's perfect ass had disappeared from view and he was once again just a black splotch in a whole lot of darkness, I told myself that I could actually fall in love with this guy.

How scary is that?





CHAPTER 19

There are some days when you get out of bed and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is in your best interest to climb right back in, pull the covers over your head and sleep away one of those kind of days. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew I was having one.

My first clue was the sound of screaming from down the street (it was the cheating ass and his teenage mistress, even better). The second was that my alarm hadn't gone off and I was now a half an hour behind schedule. The third was that Nathaniel was wearing his sunglasses. If I'd had any other choice, I never would've gotten up. Unfortunately for me, I had a daughter who was already in trouble for her artistic representations of the human body and who did not need to be missing any class, a business that I had neglected in order to better focus on my psychotic ex-husband, and a bodyguard that I had shared my very first mutual masturbation session with the night before. God. Fucking. Damn it.

With a sigh, I climbed out of bed and paused as Nathaniel turned around to look at me.

“Something wrong?” I asked him, but he just smiled back at me and slid them off his face. When he did, his expression was strained and a think just a tad nervous. Great. Please don't make me talk about last night, I prayed as I examined the tight set of his lips and read secrets there. Lots of them. He was holding them back for now, but sooner or later, I was going to hear them. Not that I wasn't interested, I was. I lived for mysteries. It was just that I was afraid to hear what they were, to have my image of the man changed or tainted in any way, shape or form, and since it was one of those kind of days, I was certain that that is exactly what those secrets were going to do.

“No, I just … ” He paused. “The sun was bothering my eyes.” Sure, I thought back at him, but I didn't press the point. We all have security mechanisms and the shades were his. Keep those secrets back just a little longer, Nathaniel, and then you can bare your soul to me, I promise. “Theresa … ”

“Don't,” I said as I slid past him and moved down the hallway towards Rhea's bedroom. Nathaniel followed along behind me. “I have to get to work. It's going to be a madhouse when I get there, I just know it.”

“I need to talk to you,” he said as chills ran down my spine. Told you. When a man says he needs to talk, it always signals disaster, at least in my experience. I sighed and nodded, hoping beyond any reasonable doubt that it had to do with Gary's case and not Nathaniel's deep, dark secrets. I opened Rhea's door. “Time to get up,” I told her.

“I don't want to,” she said as she rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. I scooted into the room and gently shook her shoulder.

“We all have to do things we don't want to do. Mommy has to write up some custom scripts this morning.”

“Can I stay home with Nathaniel?” Rhea asked, looking back at me and flashing her best, sweetheart smile.

“Nope. He's coming with me. You can see him after school.”

“Mom!” she whined, metaphorically digging her feet in and refusing to budge. “But I don't feel good.”

“You feel fine, Rhea. You do this at least once a week. Come on, what do you take me for?” She cast the full force of her glare on me and in all of her nine year old glory, she said, “I hate you, you bitch.”

Let's just say the rest of the day did not go over much better.

The ride to Rhea's school was unpleasant, at best. She was mad at me for being mad at her, and I was mad at her for calling me a bitch. Nathaniel knew better than to get involved.

“Your dad's going to pick you up after school today,” I told her as she got out of the car. “Don't go home with – ” Rhea slammed the door in my face, and I opened it after her. “You are in so much trouble, you have no idea.”

“Screw you,” she said as Mr. Clarke shot me an evil glare, and I had no choice but to retreat back into the Chrysler. When I get home, I'm going to go straight into her room and grab every single Pokemon game that I can find. They are mine.

“Sorry,” I told Nathaniel as I leaned up between the seats. He was already pulling out of the traffic circle a hundred times more skillfully than I'd ever managed to do. We only got honked at by two minivans. Now there's a record. “Sometimes, she just – ” My phone was ringing. I groaned. “Now what?” It was Brenda. Apparently Ms. Brown was waiting for me in my office, threatening to pull her project with us because one of the developers had spelled her first name wrong on the website. Vagina Brown was listed as the chief executive officer of Brown Cosmetics. It was supposed to be Virginia. “Okay, just, I don't know, just distract her until I get there, okay?” I said and then mimed tossing my phone out the window. Apparently Nathaniel saw me and laughed.

“One of those days?” he said.

“How did you know?” I asked as I slumped into my seat and tried to catch a glimpse of emerald in the rearview. I wanted nothing more than to take Nathaniel home, tear off his clothes, and explore the urges I'd been denied last night, but that was not going to happen. I had a twelve hour workday ahead of me, at least.

“It's okay,” he told me. “It happens to us all.”

“She's nine and she called me a bitch. Is that normal?” Nathaniel laughed again, and the sound of his voice was like a balm to the rough day I was having. I sighed and rested my head against the seat, hoping beyond hope that the day was on an upward spiral, that things would only get better. “Hey Nathaniel,” I said and watched as his eyes flicked up to the mirror and caught mine. “Rhea's at her Dad's tonight, so maybe we could have that talk over dinner?” I watched his gaze darken briefly before he nodded. Whatever it was that he had to tell me was bad. I didn't say another word and neither did he.