Brightly Burning(57)

“I could ask you the same question,” he said, swiveling his chair around. I was unused to this angle, me towering over him. The act of towering was itself a new one.

“I came to sit somewhere with a better view while I wait for Sergei to be ready.”

“You got sick of the monotony of the outer transport bay?”

“How did you know I was—” I caught sight of the surveillance feed pulled up on his tab. “Were you spying on me?”

Hugo shrugged it off. “I was debating whether I should go down to see you off. And whether I should call on you to make a decision on your winning hand.”

“You’re not actually insisting on holding me to your wager, then?” I hoped a bit of skepticism on my part would prove the whole thing was some elaborate joke.

“Very much so,” he replied, finally standing. Now he towered over me, so close I could feel his body heat. “Last night I wished to test your poker face, and now perhaps I can test your heart.”

I took a step back, trying to escape his eyes, which inspired a weakness in me I was determined to fight against. It was in moments like this, just him and me in the darkness, that I imagined we might have a future. It was foolish of me. “Don’t you think it cruel to leave the fate of an entire ship in my hands?”

“Don’t think about the Ingram, then. Think about yourself.”

I had thought about myself in the past twenty-four hours. Thought about the type of person I wanted to be. The type of person I could live with being. “I think you should marry Bianca,” I said, all in one breath and before I could second-guess myself. Hugo’s face fell. “Merging with the Ingram is really the right thing to do,” I continued, avoiding his gaze, telling the rest of my thoughts to my shoes. “But in all honesty, I don’t think you should listen to what I say. I think you should follow your own heart. Make this decision for yourself. Speaking plainly, I find it a bit childish that you tried to force me to make the decision for you in the first place.” When I finally allowed myself to look at him again, I found Hugo affecting something close to a smile.

“You, Stella, are my favorite bold girl.”

“There’s competition for that title, then?”

“Jessa remains in contention, but you always manage to be honest with me when I most need to hear it.” Hugo took a step closer, closing the space between us. “You’re just a bit fearless, aren’t you?”

“Or impulsive,” I offered with an awkward chuckle, unsure of how to navigate his proximity. Insolent. That had been Aunt Reed’s favorite moniker for me.

All thoughts of my aunt, and indeed natural instincts like breathing, left me as I found myself in the crush of Hugo’s embrace. It was a full-body hug, warm and solid, his voice vibrating through me like I was a tuning fork.

“Never change,” he said into my hair. “And remember your promise to return. I’m holding you to it.”

He was holding me, still, tight. Then a warning tone sounded, signaling someone moving about in the transport bay, and the moment ended.

“Your shuttle’s ready,” Hugo said as he pulled away, leaving me cold. “Safe travels.” His hand still touched mine, fingers encircling my wrist. I was sure my pulse was thready under his fingers. I nodded and pulled myself away before I lost the nerve to go.

“I’ll write to you if my aunt’s illness is prolonged. I’ll have to send additional lesson plans for Jessa if that’s the case. And speaking of Jessa, maybe spend some more time with her while I’m away?” Hugo opened his mouth to defend himself, then must have thought about the last time he saw her. I’d kept count. It was more than three days ago. I continued to deliver the bold honesty he allegedly enjoyed from me. “And maybe lay off the drinking a bit. Jessa doesn’t care for it when you drink.”

I turned at the entrance to the bridge and waved, not catching Hugo’s expression, his face obscured by shadows.

Sergei greeted me in the transport bay. “I knew I’d come to collect you sooner or later,” he said, beckoning me forward. I handed over my bag, which he stowed as I shook my head at him.

“I’m coming back. Not running away.”

“Uh-huh.” He closed the shuttle door behind me and gestured to my old seat. “Strap yourself in, and we’ll be on our way.”

As soon as I sat down, securing myself in and then reclining, the promise of sleep settled over me like a warm blanket. As the engines kicked off and I felt us propel out into space, the adrenaline faded, leaving me to my thoughts. I repeated my last conversation with Hugo on a loop in my mind. He’d compared me to his sister—?again—?but that hug hadn’t felt sisterly at all. Did brothers hold their sisters so tight, hand on their lower back, whispering in their ear?

But it didn’t matter what it was or wasn’t. I’d advised Hugo to marry Bianca, to honor his arrangement with the Ingram, and though I’d pushed that choice back on him, I had faith he’d do the right thing. I repeated once again, When Hugo and Bianca get married, I will leave.

I needed to move on.


But first, I slept. How many hours, I couldn’t tell. When I woke, Sergei was enjoying his own repose, so I read for a while, ate a bit, peered out the portal glass at the black skies. When finally he woke, I was in a new and strange state of mind. Emotionally spent, my wilder feelings confined to a box, which I closed and hid away at the back of my mind.