Blood Sisters(96)

‘She’s always there for you,’ I say. ‘You’re best friends. You can depend on her whatever happens. And she’ll help you when you’re in trouble.’

Sarah goes very quiet. ‘Let’s hold that thought until the next session, shall we?’

I’m on the gardening team now. Bliss! It means I get out in the air. Never had I thought I’d get so much pleasure from planting spinach and purple sprouting broccoli.

Then I get a note through internal mail. Sarah wants to see me again.

She’s got a new poster on the wall. It’s purple with TRUTH written at the top and PEACE at the bottom. In the middle is a picture of a woman smiling.

‘I’d like to talk more about your family,’ she says.

So we sit and chat on her sofa with tea (real cups instead of plastic) and wafer biscuits. We talk about what it was like to lose a father. To be really close to your mother. To protect her even though you’re only young yourself and then lose her to a man who takes your place. To be jealous of your mother’s new baby. To love your sister – even a half-sister – but feel rejected when she pushes you away. To forgive her when she’s nice for a bit. Even forget how nasty she’s been. And then get horribly hurt when it starts all over again.

‘Older sisters are meant to boss younger sisters around,’ I say. ‘Not the other way round.’

‘How did you feel when Kitty bossed you about?’

‘Stupid. And embarrassed. Also angry.’

‘Who with?’

‘David.’ I hesitate. ‘Mum too.’

‘But you’ve always told me you have a close relationship with her.’

‘I do. But you can love someone and be angry with them. It’s how I felt about my sister as well.’

‘Do you think she felt the same way?’

I nod. ‘It’s why it happened.’

‘What happened, Alison?’

I stand up. ‘I don’t want to discuss this any more.’

The following week, I go into Sarah’s room. It’s in my wing and I’m allowed now to make my own way there. After our last conversation, I almost cancelled our appointment. But I need to talk to her about Stefan. The man I’m slowly learning to think of as my father. He’s been troubling me in my dreams.

‘Come on in,’ she says when I tap on the door.

And then I stop.

My mother is sitting there. So is my barrister.

And so is Kitty.





75


February 2018


Kitty


Kitty had a bad feeling about this. Especially after that bloody machine had brought back the memories.

‘We’re going to visit your sister.’ That’s what Friday Mum had said. But she didn’t seem like she wanted to. ‘The people looking after her think that it might be a good idea,’ she’d added.

Who were these people looking after Ali? And why did she need someone to look after her anyway? It wasn’t as if Half a Sister was in a fucking wheelchair like she was.

Little Vanessa was coming too. Kitty wanted that but she also didn’t want her to cry so much.

It took ages to get there in the van, which Call Me Jeannie had given Friday Mum. It was big enough to take the wheelchair in the back and it had a ramp for her to get in and out. But Friday Mum was a bloody awful driver. She kept stalling. Baby Vanessa screamed most of the way from her baby seat. ‘I should have brought someone to help me,’ Friday Mum kept saying. ‘But I didn’t want …’

Then she stopped as if she’d been about to say something and then changed her mind. ‘You might be a bit shocked when you see your sister,’ she said. ‘I haven’t told you this before because I didn’t want to upset you and because … well, I’m not sure how much you understand. But Alison is in a prison.’

A prison? Kitty felt a cold shiver going down her spine. ‘Why?’ she babbled.

‘Remember we went to see your sister in court?’

Of course she bloody well remembered. Half a Sister had hogged that glass box, hadn’t she? Refused to share. Had worn her locket – the one she’d stolen from her. So she nodded her head. But it came out like a shake again.

‘I don’t know if you recall what I told you afterwards but … well, Ali told everyone about pushing you in front of the car.’ Friday Mum’s voice was all wobbly. ‘So she’s going to be locked up for a very long time.’

Another cold shiver down the spine. At the same time, little Vanessa began to yell again.

‘She hasn’t wanted any visitors and … well … she doesn’t actually know we’re coming today.’ Friday Mum was pulling into a service station now. ‘It might be a bit of a shock for her. But we’re going to see if it makes a difference.’

‘What makes a difference?’ yelled Kitty.

‘Don’t get upset now. Oh dear. I do hope we’re doing the right thing. Now just sit tight. I’m going to change Vanessa’s nappy in the van and give her a drink. Not much longer now and we’ll be there.’ Friday Mum was looking even more harassed than ever. ‘I do hope you can help your sister, Kitty. She needs you.’

And something deep down inside her, that Kitty didn’t even know she had, gave a little ping like someone plucking a violin string. And making a horrible jarring sound.