Blood Sisters(56)

Liar! Liar!

To my relief, he changes the subject. ‘Tell me,’ he says. ‘What is it like in prison?’

I’ve found, since I’ve started this job, that everyone asks that question, from my mother to the college receptionist. The truth is that it’s hard to describe unless you’re actually there to smell the air. The desperation. The resignation. The anger. ‘It’s like another universe,’ I say.

‘Are the men very unhappy?’

Most people – the few I have told – generally ask if they’re dangerous. Lead Man himself did this when he first found out. But the ‘unhappy’ question is an intriguing one. I’m not even sure if I’ve thought of it myself. ‘Some. But you get the feeling that others are more comfortable inside than out.’

He frowns. ‘What do you mean?’

I consider a thick-fingered bulldog of a man in my group who has a history of escaping just before his release date so he gets another sentence. ‘Many don’t have any family waiting for them. They’re scared of coming out and finding themselves alone.’

‘That’s sad.’

Then I find myself blurting out something else. ‘There’s even a murderer who’s convinced he’s my father.’

Lead Man laughs. ‘You’re kidding.’

‘No. And … I can’t help wondering if he’s right.’

He frowns. ‘What do you mean?’

So I tell him about Stefan and the information he knows about me, ranging from my name to the lavender scent which both Mum and I wear. He shakes his head. ‘Criminals can find these things out. It doesn’t mean anything.’

His hand is stroking my thigh. Slowly, gently.

‘I know.’ Hadn’t I been telling myself exactly the same? Even so, it’s reassuring to hear it from someone I respect. Respect? Or have feelings for?

He’s speaking again. That rich dark voice stirs longings inside me that I didn’t know I had. Or that I once had, but thought had gone for ever. ‘I think that when you’ve got as much on your plate as you have, it’s easy to imagine things. You need to relax, Alison.’

His fingers brush my hair away. Then his mouth comes down on mine.

Hungrily, I kiss him back. I am lost. And it feels wonderful.

When I get dressed the next morning, as well as putting on trousers and a modest top, I also spend a bit of time on my face. And I wear a smile. You have to show you’re confident in prison. That you’re not intimidated by anyone. Not even men who claim to be your father. And, of course, it’s easier to smile this morning after the wonders of last night. The only dampener was that Clive had to leave early. ‘Another buying trip abroad,’ he’d said regretfully, kissing me on the mouth. ‘I’ll ring as soon as I’m back.’

So this was what sex was all about. Not like that horrible night in the summer house. But an act of love which was passionate yet gentle at the same time. How am I going to wait until we see each other again?

Meanwhile, I need to find out more about Stefan. It’s not that I believe his wild claims, but there’s something in me that’s curious about this man. Maybe, I tell myself, as I drive to the prison, I could make some discreet inquiries.

‘I’ve got someone in my class called Stefan,’ I mention casually to a prison officer at lunch.

‘The old bloke with the stick who’s been in the san? Heard he’s not got long.’

So he is ill then? I feel a slight misgiving. ‘Do you know what he’s in for?’

He tucks into his sausages and beans with relish. ‘Best not to ask, if you want my advice. Might scare you off the job.’

I get the feeling that this is exactly what he’d like. ‘Bleeding-heart do-gooder,’ I hear the same officer say to another as they leave the dining room. ‘What’s she hoping to achieve in this place?’

I’m beginning to wonder myself. Despite Clive telling me how ‘brave’ I am, I’m seriously thinking of handing in my notice, even if it means I’ll be broke. My share of the fees for the home is no longer so important with Kitty’s new status. Johnny’s parents will surely help. And I’ve been further spooked by Stefan’s warning, which is still lingering in my head.

This is a bad place, Ali. You are in danger.

Tonight, I vow, I will have it out with Mum on the phone. I will tell her exactly what Stefan said. And when she confirms, as I know she will, that he’s lying, I will go straight to the governor. This criminal might be old and disabled but he can’t be allowed to get away with this. He’d sworn he’d had nothing to do with those threatening messages. But if he’d been cunning enough to be transferred to ‘my’ prison, he’s surely capable of anything.

Or there is another option I could take. One I hardly dare to think about.





43


July 2001


Ali


Could that really be my sister? That crumpled shape in a pool of blood and navy blue school uniform? Violin case near her head. A shoe by her feet. A polished shoe. Crawling towards it, I tenderly held it against my throbbing cheek. If my sister’s shoe was all right, it surely meant that she was all right too. Like me. The car had merely knocked me to one side. I was winded and my nose raged with a throbbing pain but I was still here.