Blood Sisters(53)

‘The older I get, the more I need to see you, Ali. To talk to you. To explain. I try to think of a way. My sentence, it has only five more years. So I am moved to another prison.’ He points to the open window. ‘I can breathe at last. I taste fresh air whenever I want instead of piss and shit and sweat in cell. I have more freedom to find out about you.’

‘When is your birthday?’ I ask suddenly.

He looks surprised. ‘Ninth of December. Why?’

I feel a flash of relief. Mum had once told me that my father had been born on the fourteenth of July, although she hadn’t mentioned the year. So this man is definitely lying.

He closes his eyes for a minute as though he’s very tired. Then starts talking again.

‘I hear from friends that you are working here. It seems like fate. I find out that I can request transfer. I say it is because it is near hospital for treating my illness.’ He grins as if pleased with himself.

With a sinking feeling I realize he’s right – I heard about this from Angela. The authorities can move prisoners for personal reasons in extreme circumstances.

‘But why now, if you’ve been watching me all these years?’

‘I tell you already.’ He wheezes heavily at this point. Another dramatic ploy. ‘I get ill. I want to know my daughter. I need to make up for lost time. And I need to protect you too.’

A shiver runs through me. ‘Protect me from what?’

‘This is a bad place, Ali. You are in danger.’

‘How?’

I say it with bluster but inside I am shaking.

‘It is best you do not know. Then you say nothing when they ask you.’

I don’t want to trust him. Yet he hasn’t tried to threaten me. Then a thought strikes me. ‘Did you write those notes?’ I ask.

‘What notes?’

‘Anonymous messages.’ My throat is dry. ‘They implied I was being watched and that someone was out to get me.’

I observe his face closely. It registers genuine surprise. ‘No. Not me.’ He shakes his head. ‘But it means they are after you already.’

‘Rubbish,’ I say, trying to laugh.

He picks up his stick. So I was wrong about this man! I wince instinctively, waiting for the blow.

‘I do not hurt you, Ali,’ he says sadly. ‘When I hear you are staying for the night, I think this is good chance to talk alone. I hope you tell me more about yourself and I tell you about me. But now I see you don’t believe my story.’

There’s a pat on my shoulder. ‘You go, talk to your mother. She know I talk truth. Then we meet again.’

‘Take your hand off me.’

His eyes moisten. There are real tears. ‘Do not you see …’ he begins.

And then the sound of shouting breaks in. Not just one voice but several. Like men drunk after a football match. Door handles are rattling. Hard and furiously.

Stefan sighs. ‘They make hooch again. Alcohol, she does not agree with me,’ he adds. A teetotaller like me? Coincidence, I tell myself fiercely.

Footsteps are marching down the corridor. ‘Order, order!’ I’m safe. Then another thought strikes me. If Stefan is found here he might try to blame me. Say I’d asked him in. Maybe that I’d loosened those bars myself. Criminals, I am learning, will do anything to save their own skin.

‘Go!’ I am pushing him. ‘Please, just leave. It’s safer for both of us.’

He looks sad but, to my utter relief, he starts to move towards the window.

Then he stops. ‘Just one more thing.’ He smiles. ‘Your mother. Does she still smell of lavender?’





39


July 2001


Ali


My mind was whirling as if someone had tipped me upside down and was shaking me. ‘What are you talking about?’ I managed to say.

Vanessa was grinning. Jumping up and down now – from kerb to road and back again – like the excited eleven-year-old she was instead of her usual pretence at being a cool teenager.

‘We were trying to gatecrash the party. So we came in the back, over the fence. Kitty saw you – she tapped on the window to get your attention. We weren’t sure if you’d seen us and wanted to make you promise you wouldn’t tell. Then we realized what you were doing. And to think we all thought you were a good girl!’

My body went cold. Numb.

The tapping on the window which I’d thought was the tree in the wind. Kitty being all friendly to me afterwards – no doubt scared I was going to tell Mum that she was at the party without realizing I hadn’t seen her.

‘I must say, Ali.’ Vanessa had both hands on her hips now. ‘We didn’t think you had it in you, did we?’ She was shooting my sister a ‘come on’ look. ‘How much pocket money do you think our silence is worth, Kitty?’

My sister linked arms with Vanessa now. All chummy again. Up and down. It’s what they were like. It made me glad I’d never had a girl for a best friend myself. Regretfully, I thought of Robin. Placid. Always on one level. But I’d blown that now.

‘Thousands,’ Kitty grinned.

‘Thousands? That’s ridiculous.’

I felt sick. Mum would be so upset. Worse, she’d be disappointed. The thought of that was too much. So too was the idea of my shameful secret coming out in the open. What if they told other people? Supposing Robin heard?