Blessed Tragedy(20)

Chapter Ten



I had no clue how long I'd been asleep when the sound of Colton arguing with someone jerked me out of my dream. Not wanting to interrupt, I stayed on the veranda pretending I was still sleeping.

“No, I don't think you do understand...this is the way it has to be...what would you do if it was you?” I didn't know who he was talking to but it was obvious he was trying to hold it together. I pulled my cell phone out of my jeans to look at the time. Two-thirty in the morning. Who would he be talking to at this hour?

“Look, if this is what she needs to do, we owe it to her,” Shit, is he talking about me? “Jon, she's been through hell and she swears something's not right with her dad. You saw how tore up she was when we came back from the funeral. Do you want to think about what it'll do to her, what it'll do to us if something is wrong and we were pricks to her?”

It took everything I had to keep from running into the house, screaming at both of them; Jon for getting pissed about me needing to make sure my dad's okay and Colton for talking me into trying to have a relationship with him. We hadn't even had sex yet and this was the second time there were problems in the band because of us. This was my battle to fight, not his.

“It's just a few days. We're going to fly up late tomorrow morning, make sure her dad's okay, give her some time with him without the added pressure of her brothers and we'll be back.” Colton growled at something Jon said. I peeked around the side of the chair to see where he was standing.

He must have had a headset tucked around his ear because he his elbows were propped on the baby grand piano in front of the windows, both hands tightly wound through his long blond hair. Whatever Jon was saying to him was causing him to grow more agitated every second.

“No, you need to understand,” he spat, “This is happening whether you like it or not. We weren't even going to be doing shit during the time we'll be gone. These would have been travel days, remember that...I get that...don't give me that bullshit, Jon...”

Not even eight hours after our first national tour wrapped and it felt like the band was coming apart at the seams. Because of me. I stormed into the house ready to give both of the men a piece of my mind.

“Put it on speaker,” I yelled. “You're both going to listen to me and I don't want to say this twice.”

Colton held up his finger, apparently letting Jon ramble on until he took a breath. “Hang on, now Rain's awake and she's pissed too. Why not get Trav out of bed and we can all go at it.”

I glared at him. I'd never understand why he felt the need to poke at Jon when he was already steaming mad. It made as much sense as tying a T-bone around your neck and poking a grizzly bear.

“You there Jon?” I asked when Colton set the phone on the piano lid.

“Yeah.” Great, a pissed off and drunk Jon. No wonder Colton can't get through to him. I shook my head, narrowing my eyes until I could barely see out of them. Colton should have known better than to call Jon tonight. He should have realized they stayed at the party and probably had free drinks shoved down their throats for hours.

“Jon, you know I love and respect you. You took a chance on me when you didn't have to and I know you caught shit for letting a chick in the band.” I figured the best course of action was to kiss his ass a little before I told him how unreasonable he was being. “Seriously, I'll never be able to thank you enough for that. But right now, I need to go home and see my dad. There was too much shit going on when we were there before and I need some alone time with him. Plus, I can't shake the feeling there's something he's not telling me. You guys wouldn't have noticed it, but he didn't look good. He wasn't himself.”

“Look, Rain, I get that. And I don't want to be a dick...” Jon's breathing was audible through the phone. Either he was about to pass out or he didn't know what he was trying to say. “It's just...this next tour is gonna be big. But it also means we're giving up our recording time. With the fall and winter tour coming up, we need the new material.”

“So start working on it while I'm gone. I haven't been involved in writing anything so far, why start now?” It hurt to say the words because I'd made no secret of the fact that I wanted to be more involved but if it came down to my family or helping write a song, I knew there would be other songs. And trust me; no one was more surprised by that revelation than I was.

“Right, but if lover boy is chasing after you, that leaves us screwed. Travis is good at what he does, but I need Colton there to get the riffs where they need to be.”

“So he'll stay here.” I looked at Colton defiantly, practically daring him to say anything. It would be nice to have him with me, especially if I was right and Dad was sick, but there was no way in hell that was going to happen if it was going to cause problems for the band. Last time I checked, my driver's license didn't list Yoko as my first name.

“He says he won't, that he needs to be there for you,” Jon sighed, obviously irritated with Colton's new white knight complex.

“And I'm telling him, right now, that he's staying here. I'll go, do what I need to do and I can be back before you're even ready for me.” Colton went to say something and I shook my finger at him. “Would that work for you or do you still have a problem with me bailing for a bit?”

“Rain, it was never about you leaving. I can't imagine what you're going through. I meant it the night of the Denver concert; you're one of the toughest people I know. If you think you need to go, I trust that you need to go. I just don't see how we could make it work with both of you gone and such a tight turnaround.” The sentiment was sweet enough although it was lost somewhere in Jon's slurred words.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Well, we've taken care of that part then, so it's settled. You go sleep it off so you guys can bust ass while I'm gone.”

“When did you get to be the smart one?” Jon was very drunk. Had I not been pulled out of the most relaxing night I'd had in months, I might have found it amusing. Right now, I wanted him standing in front of me so I could grab both him and Colton by their long hair and slam their heads together.

“Always have been, you boys just never listen,” I laughed. “Goodnight, Jon.” I pressed the end button before he or Colton could say another word and I walked back to the veranda.

The smell of fresh sea air was a welcome change to the diesel fumes we'd been breathing for months. The sounds of the waves hitting the shore were louder now. It was almost serene. It would have been serene if not for the sound of Colton's heavy breathing coming from near the door.

“So, now you're making decisions for me without giving me a say in them?” The look in Colton's eyes was a cross between fury and pain. I hated knowing I'd caused the blend of emotions in him but I had to do what was best for the band. If I didn't, I would be putting everything at risk.

As he walked towards me, his fists were clenching and releasing at his sides. In the years we'd spent together, this was the first time his anger made me nervous.

“Jon was just being a bitchy little punk. You and I both know the world's not going to end if I go with you but, as usual, you're so worried about him being mad at you that nothing else matters.” He crouched next to me, pulling my face towards him when I tried to look away. “Do you really want to be with me or were you just saying that to get him off your back too?”

I cursed myself as I felt tears building in my eyes. How could Colton think I would have done something that would have crushed him that way? “There are a lot of things I'll do to make Jon Meyers happy. Being with you isn't one of them. And honestly, it hurts like hell you'd even think that.”

“Well, what am I supposed to think? You wouldn't listen to me until he forced you to. Now, you're telling me that I can't be there to support the woman I love when she's trying to face her past because it's going to upset him. Tell me, what would you think if it was you?”

He loves me? Where in the hell is that coming from? “What did you just say to me?”

“Yes, Rain, you heard me right. I f*cking love you. I've felt that way for a long time and couldn't do anything about it because you always made it so clear you'd never get involved with anyone in the band.” His eyes softened as he reached to brush his hand against my cheek. “I know we haven't even had a chance to start our relationship but you might as well know where my head's at. There's no question of if we'll work out. I know damn well that we will if you'll just let us.”

Hearing Colton lay his heart on the line was all I needed for everything I'd been bottling inside to break loose. I buried my head in his neck, finally allowing the tears I'd been holding back to fall. They weren't the tears from tonight; they were all the tears I'd wanted to shed since leaving my family. They were tears for my mother and tears for the years I lost with my dad and brothers. They were tears expressing my fear and insecurity when it came to Colton.