Blazed(19)

"Actually I could really go for a power nap. I've been awake for a whole two hours."

"Oh. Well then." He sucked and nipped at my skin as he pulled me up to sit and wrestled me out of my clothes, carefully folding the arms of my glasses and putting them safely on the coffee table. This, I could deal with. I never felt more certain about my actions where sex was involved, particularly sex with Blaze. I'd quickly learned that it was impossible to make a wrong move with him because he was just so hungry to be inside me. He was still selfish but liked to feel me writhe beneath him, careful to take his time and drive me crazy. He did so quite capably and in more ways than he knew. Small stupid things like the noises he made and the way his back beaded with sweat when he was close to his limits made the experience for me.

We seemed to fit so well together that I swore the mould used to make him had somehow been turned inside out and fitted inside me. Not a single one of the casual encounters I'd had in Blaze's absence could compare or satisfy the lust that took over. I'd started to leave feeling short changed and a little dirty, wondering if I was acting habitually or keeping up appearances. I'd fashioned myself a protective cocoon during my four years in London and Blaze was starting to find the cracks in it. He could exploit my weaknesses the way only one other could— someone who had no business being in my thoughts when a mouth-watering male stood topless in front of me. He'd undressed me in record time and was quite openly ogling me, tongue trapped between his teeth.

"I went to the bookshop first. You weren't there." Blaze scrunched his t-shirt up into a ball and threw it at my face, promptly scooping me up and carrying me into my bedroom. Somehow, the space seemed bigger and tidier. How long had he been there and what the hell had he been doing in my absence?

"Day off. It happens sometimes."

"You need a mobile phone."

"I have one."

"I need your number."

"I don't give men my number."

"I'm not 'men', am I?" I inched back to look down at him from my almost prone position across him and frowned. No, I didn't suppose he was 'men', but I'd promised myself that I wouldn't break trends for him. "Am I?"

"No." Sitting back on my heels, I tugged at the waistband of his jeans as a hint for him to lose them, and quickly. "And I'm not 'women'. So you'll get my number when I get your surname."

"Oh, touché." He wriggled out of his jeans and pulled me back over him, eyes burning like two emerald green beacons. The fact that he'd gone commando turned me on and I had no idea why. "You, on top. I need to see this."

"See what?" I got my answer from his face. His gaze slid down and rested at the point where our bodies would connect. A low growl rumbled in his throat as he watched himself fill me up, fingers restlessly flexing against my hips while the balls of his hands held my weight and stopped me descending too quickly. He snarled a curse, jerking up to meet me, and flipped me onto my back to drill into me hard, fast, and so roughly I battled to catch my breath.

Blaze lacked his usual finesse and I knew that it was because he was feeling tormented. His earlier kisses had said as much. He f*cked like he had a point to make, maybe not to me, but to himself. What that point was, I didn't know. Maybe he was trying to reassure himself that it was just the driving urge to screw me senseless that made him miss me as much as he had and we really did just use each other as implements to get ourselves off. Whatever the reason, he charged through, determined and unrelenting, sparing me no time to recover between orgasms that began to roll together and snowball.

It was too much. Pleasure became painful, but I didn't want it to stop. No matter how hard my toes cramped, he drove on and licked away the almost sadistic tears that dripped down my temples into my hair. I was lost to him, forced into a place where I could focus on nothing but him. My new most favourite place in the world, away from all my neuroses and memories— the only place I could connect so deeply with another human being. An activity I'd spent four years using to validate myself had become a meaningful bridge to a bigger place. Had he turned my life upside down like I'd wanted? Maybe. Given half the chance, Blaze might have ploughed away at me until I was no longer gifted with eyesight, foresight or hindsight, so I might never see for myself just how much damage he'd done.



I whimpered feebly when he sank his teeth into my neck and moaned my name, finally finding his release after I don't know how long. His weight pushed me down into the mattress, making me feel gloriously overpowered and well used. Immediately, my eyelids drooped, but his nose nuzzling my hair kept me just about conscious.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, spending a wave of goose bumps across my skin, "I lost control." Unable to speak, I grunted quietly and found enough energy to catch his hand in mine and squeeze it. "I've broken you, haven't I?"

"You've ruined me for other men, that's for damn sure." I forced one eye open and winked at him. "I'll be good to go again in five minutes."

Blaze scoffed gently and traced his fingers across his bite mark. "Did you really miss me this week?"

"I did. I just didn't know how much until you came back. You always come back." My trust was rewarded with an indulgent, typically contagious smile. I'd believed in him and clearly it meant a lot that I had. It meant so much more to me too— it meant that I could.

"What would you do if I was still here when you woke up?" My forehead creased slightly. Our situation was how it was. Why would I consider it being any other way when this was all it could be? What would be the point of conjuring idyllic scenarios that would never become reality?

"Make you get me coffee and do my hair." He cocked his head to the side a little, a gesture seeking my honesty. "It would be weird for me, like it was 'real'."

"Real how?"

"Real like no complications. No reasons 'why not', I guess. If I woke up and you were in the kitchen or something, that's like Chris or Esme being here. But if I woke up and found you sleeping next to me, I think I'd be forced to do something really stupid like think you were mine." Inhaling sharply, I blushed crimson through my already flushed cheeks and closed my open eye to avoid seeing his reaction. I couldn't filter my thoughts when I was sedate, and the last thing I want to do was scare him off with hints at how deeply he affected me. "Can I have my power nap now?"

"Of course, cupcake." He kissed the tip of my nose and pulled me over to lay my head on his sweat slicked chest. His heart was still racing, visibly straining at the confines of his chest. "And I'll be in that kitchen making you coffee when you wake up."

Maybe he wasn't as scared as I thought.





Seven





I WOKE UP feeling hungover and raw. It took a moment for me to recall the events that had led to me ending up sprawled out in bed, hugging a pillow wrapped up in a t-shirt I didn't recognise. But I recognised the smell that clung to it and it was one that didn't exactly encourage me to move. Blaze's scent set me up for the day, along with the memories it provoked of the night before.

But this wasn't the morning after the night before. It was the same afternoon after the same afternoon before, and I had absolutely no reason to feel so disgraceful.

Dragging the t-shirt over my head, I winced as I sat upright and surveyed the murder scene that was now my bed. Blood spotted the cream cotton valance sheet that was torn in places, and sweat and other...fluids stained the fabric under where I'd laid to sleep. I hadn't realised just how carnal the sex had been at the time, but seeing how rough it could get when I didn't even know it made my mouth snap open. Blaze was dangerous— a serious threat on my sanity and self-control, but how savage was I when I lost my head? It had taken less than five minutes from front door to bedroom to reach this level of indecency...

"Oh, Esme!" I remembered her rude exclusion from my afternoon and knew that I had to explain myself. Or rather explain Blaze. Blaze!

The sight of him standing in my kitchen stopped me in my tracks. He wore nothing but black briefs and was covered in small, red crescent marks left by my nails. His skin glowed red under the scratches but he looked none too perturbed, leaning over a tablet computer set down on the breakfast bar, watching music videos while he swigged milk from the carton. He was at home here, looking far better off than I did even if he had been brutalised by my hand. All elements of that scenario combined, he looked f*cking hot.

"You helped yourself to my Wi-Fi password?" He glanced up, seemingly surprised to see me in my own home, and shot me a smile that made my insides melt enough to forgive the host of violations he'd committed. I loved that he felt comfortable and confident in my small space. It only made sense when he was so happily underneath my skin. "And you're getting your germs in my milk."

"You're getting your germs in my t-shirt." I walked into the arm he held out and leaned into him, sliding a hand down the front of his underwear to stroke the trail of hair that crept down from his navel. If he stuck around like this every time he f*cked me into slumber, we'd never leave my flat. "God woman, you're insatiable. You might be ready again but I need longer than half an hour to recover from something like that."