Beneath the Skin(96)

Misty frowns. ‘What affair?’

‘Between you and David.’

Misty leans forward, her cleavage exposed and creased. ‘Oh, love, no! I mean who wouldn’t want to with such a lovely handsome man, but no.’ She reaches out her hand to take Antonia’s and it’s surprisingly steady and firm. ‘No, Antonia. We had a … relationship, a friendship, but it was nothing like that.’

Antonia pulls back her hand. ‘But at the wake, people were talking. I heard them. About you and David.’ She thinks back to her conversation with Mike after the funeral. That kiss, that intimacy. It feels like years ago. ‘People assumed—’

Shaking her head, Misty sighs. ‘Yes, assumptions. That’s running a pub for you. People make up all sorts of stories. They see what they want to see. Rumours get around. It caused problems for me and Seamus from time to time. He’d start to believe them too, get jealous and, well …’ She takes a deep breath and smiles a wry smile. ‘No affair, love. Very flattering, but stupid. Look at you. Why would he have any interest in me? He loved you, he adored you. You must know that.’

It isn’t what Antonia expected. She lifts her hands, confused. ‘Then why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t he introduce you like he did with his other friends? Why were you a … a secret, I suppose?’

The smile from Misty’s face falls, tears fill her eyes. ‘He had a great big hole here,’ she says, putting a hand to her breast. ‘His mum. He still desperately missed her. I’m no psychologist, love, but I think he needed someone to talk to—’

‘And it should have been me,’ Antonia blurts, her words choked. ‘But I wouldn’t talk to him. I let him down—’

Grasping Antonia’s hand again, Misty shakes her head. ‘No, love, don’t go there. I run a pub. There are things men tell me they wouldn’t tell another soul and especially not a wife.’ She gazes for a moment, her eyes luminous, as though seeing Antonia’s insides. ‘We’re all human; there’s always something we’re not proud of, or a side of us we want to hide. He loved you faithfully, Antonia. He wanted nothing but the best for you, your happiness came first.’

Wiping her face with a tissue, Antonia finds herself whispering, the words emerging unexpectedly, honest and raw. ‘His adoration was difficult at times. He put me on a pedestal. Thought I was someone I wasn’t.’

Sitting back, Misty smiles. ‘I know you won’t believe it, but I was like you once. I was beautiful too.’ She turns towards the bar and lifts a hand to wave to Seamus. ‘It’s not always easy being perfect. Which, of course, we’re not. But imagine how difficult it is for them.’

Mike returns to the office from lunch to find Judith looking comfortable in his chair. He’s been to Sam’s Chop House for a pint with Sami even though he didn’t really have the time. He only had the one pint, but lunchtime drinking isn’t a good idea, it does the opposite of what alcohol is supposed to do. He feels drowsy and introspective. Still, Sami was on great form, the best he’s seen him for weeks.

‘Sophie’s home,’ Sami said in the pub. ‘Thank God. My chances of gastroenteritis have tripled, the house looks as though it’s been dusted for prints and I have to put up with Ronan Keating again, but I feel like a newly-wed. Bloody ridiculous, isn’t it?’

‘So, the baby thing …’

‘A close shave, Mike. Thank God she’s gone off the idea for now. Hopefully it’ll be permanent. If I’m honest I’d prefer just to stay as we are. I can’t see me with a kid.’

Mike laughed with surprise. He thought he knew Sami so well. ‘As long as you’re happy, mate, cheers to that!’

Judith is picking up papers from his desk, scrutinising them quickly and putting them in piles. She’s reorganising his disorder and he knows better than to stop her. He watches for a while, pleased to see her, relieved she’ll be coming back after her maternity leave to organise his working life and to brighten his day. He misses their shared humour; he misses their chats.

‘Mislaid your baby already, Jude?’ he says with a grin as he removes a stripy scarf knitted by Rachel. ‘In Marks and Spencer food hall? Or maybe try Debenhams’ changing rooms.’

‘Ha, ha. I see from the state of your desk that you’ve been missing me. A lot.’ She lifts her head, looks at Mike and smiles. ‘So, fill me in with all the gossip.’

‘You’re asking the wrong man. No one tells me anything.’

‘That’s because you don’t tell anyone anything.’ She gazes at him thoughtfully, her pencil tapping on the desk. ‘You seem quiet. How’s the merry widow?’

Mike laughs, hoping the laugh will reach his eyes. ‘Fine, I believe. Rachel’s still going round.’ Bloody Gypsy Rose, he thinks with a pang. Antonia was all he thought of at lunch with Sami, desperately wanting the conversation to move on to her. How she really was coping. Whether she had a new man.

Their heads both turn to the door as they hear the shrill squeal of a distressed baby approaching. Judith raises her eyebrows. ‘That’s what happens when you play “Who’s the Daddy?” I wonder who they’ve come up with this time.’

She takes the baby from an apologetic-looking secretary and rocks her gently until the crying stops. ‘It’ll be your turn again soon,’ she says with a small frown. ‘She’s hungry. I’d better go.’ She steps to the door but turns before leaving. ‘You know what I’m thinking, Mike? Rose-tinted glasses; the grass is greener; absence makes the heart grow fonder. I could add more if my brain hadn’t shrunk.’ She picks up the woolly scarf from the back of a chair and hangs it on a hook. ‘You have a great life, Mike. A lovely family. Remember what you’ve got.’ She watches his face for a moment. ‘Just saying …’ she adds before closing his office door.