Beneath the Skin(94)
‘No,’ Mike replies. ‘Never. Too busy at work to get away. Then when I take Rachel, she insists I drop her at the gates so she can saunter down the driveway like a proper grown-up. I think she’s representing the family’s concern pretty well, don’t you?’
Olivia laughs easily. She seems so content now and Mike’s grateful for that. ‘Yes,’ she says. ‘I’m almost starting to get the hump. As well as the bump. My eldest child appears to have a higher regard for Antonia than me. But then when it comes to looks and fashion, I really can’t blame her. But I must get round to visiting Antonia. She’s nice.’
She leans over and kisses Mike on his stubbly cheek. ‘I feel so much better now that I’m not puking twenty-four seven. I know I’ve been grumpy. Thanks for hanging in there, Mike. What on earth would I do without you?’
As Antonia was nearly seventeen and had a job, Barry and Norma had managed to negotiate a stay out of care until a council flat became available for her. In the meantime she’d continued to live at her home in Northern Moor. The two adults promised to keep an eye on her, but in practice it was Sophie who held everything together, from feeding the dog to fending off journalists.
‘Doesn’t it give you the creeps, still living there? Where it happened?’
It was the question people asked all the time, particularly at the hairdressers. Both the customers and staff. Everyone knew what had happened, everyone talked, not bothering to hold back their blatant curiosity. It was as though Antonia was public property, like a soap or a porn star who had no right to privacy or tact.
‘I don’t have much choice,’ was her stock reply as she washed and brushed and straightened. Not the ‘It’s none of your bloody business’ she wanted to scream.
She stayed with Sophie and her family in Northenden mostly, but she was at home on the day of the trial. When her mum was first arrested a couple of journalists had tracked her down at Barry and Norma’s and hovered for hours outside their house. So as the trial approached she felt it wasn’t fair to stay longer. They’d been very kind and the boys were still young. But Sophie was with her. She skipped a day off sixth-form college and arrived early at Antonia’s house with a Subway sandwich meal deal and cider, so she wouldn’t be alone.
The raps at the door were so frequent that she and Sophie became used to the dog’s constant barking and hardly heard it. But eventually, when the knocking didn’t abate but developed into hammering, Sophie gave in with, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll get it and tell them to piss off.’
Sophie came back into the sitting room and shrugged. ‘It must be one of your relatives,’ she said, then Auntie Thandi appeared behind her, looking dishevelled and anxious. Her mother’s twin, but not identical. Her skin was much darker.
‘Chinue! You’re not answering the telephone. I’ve come in a taxi from court. Why are you still here?’
Antonia stayed hunched on the floor, the dog close beside her. ‘Mum asked me not to go.’
‘Well, of course you have to come. You’ll have to give evidence.’
‘I’m not giving evidence. Mum doesn’t want me to. She doesn’t want anyone to.’
‘Forget what your mum says. It’s for her own benefit. You have to come and tell them what he was like. The judge and the jury, whoever. Explain why she finally snapped. For God’s sake, Chinue, please come. The taxi’s waiting outside. Come on, love. Just put on your coat and let’s go.’
Thandi stepped towards her and held out her hand but Antonia shook her head, her arms tight around her knees. ‘No. It’s her penance. That’s what she said. She made me promise.’
The rant started then, the anger and desperation etched on her aunt’s face. Question after question, accusations and insults. Didn’t Chinue care? What the hell was she thinking? Candy would get life for murder. Didn’t she get that? Was she completely stupid? What kind of daughter was she? She’d live with the guilt for the rest of her life. She was as bad as her father, a stupid, stupid, selfish bitch.
Antonia covered her ears, pummelled the floor with her bare feet and screamed. ‘Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.’
‘I think you should go now,’ Sophie eventually said.
CHAPTER FORTY
‘Hello, Olivia! You look chirpy!’
The voice comes from the mum of a boy in Hannah’s class and it makes Olivia jump.
‘Sorry, Liz. I was miles away,’ she replies, her cheeks flushed. ‘Oh, thanks. Chirpy but getting huger by the hour! Still, I guess it’s better than being miserable and fat.’
Olivia laughs, feeling slightly abashed at how chirpy she feels. It’s so very middle-class mother-hen-from-Chorlton of her. To make it worse she’s clutching an armful of organic veg covered in soil. ‘I think you’ll find they sprinkle on the soil in the shop, the way one does with icing sugar on cakes that have burned,’ she mocked to her sister not so long ago. Yet here she is in Unicorn, store to the virtuous vegans, buying pulses and veg and actually humming. God knows what she’ll make with it, but she promised Mike something nice for dinner because he’s been mega busy at work, stuck at his desk again today with deadlines to meet.
‘I’m in the third trimester, can you believe. I had a scan yesterday and all is well,’ she adds, by way of explanation for the chirpiness, if not the humming.