Behind the Mask: A Rockstar Romance(45)

“Because you are around Blacken Hart twenty-four seven, so your life will never be simple.”

“Until I leave,” I tell her.

“Are you still wanting to leave? Even after Nate made his declaration of love to you?”

“He didn’t say he loved me, he just said he wanted me. There is a difference. Tegan is right, he may think he wants me, but it’s an image he made up in his head. I can’t give my heart to someone who may end up breaking it.” I head to the changing rooms, showering and getting dressed in another pair of skinny jeans and a black, backless halter top.

We do our meet and greet and all the way through, I feel Nate’s eyes on me, but I tell myself not to give in. I down every shot Tegan and Naomi give me and by the time we leave I feel a little buzzed. In the limo, I am looking out the window when I see a karaoke bar and I scream for Max to stop.

“Karaoke,” I scream and the guys must be as drunk as me because they cheer, agreeing. Heading inside with Rich and Gav staying close to us all, they get us a section of the place and close it up so no one can bother us.

“What song are we going to sing?” Naomi goes through the book of songs in excitement.

“I will sing anything,” I say. When I see a waitress walk by, I stand on wobbly legs, walking toward her. I groan when I realize I can’t talk.

“Holy shit, you are Star,” the waitress screams at me. I give her a warm smile. I point to her pen and notepad and she gives it to me willingly. “I can’t believe you don’t talk. What are you guys doing here? Can I have a selfie with you, please, please, please?”

I nod and she quickly grabs her phone and we pose for a few pictures.

“My friends are going to have a fit when they see this.” She smiles.

I point to her phone again, indicating for her to take another picture. This time I make her look at me and I pout my lips, waiting for a kiss. She kisses me, just a closed lip kiss. She takes the picture and jumps up and down. “They are definitely going to die now. What can I get you?”

I write on a piece of paper some tequila shots as well as a few fruity ones with a few vodka lime and lemonade. I place my hand in my ankle boot, leaning on a chair, balancing myself as I tip her.

I head back in my seat and everyone is looking at me.

“Who knew Star was a lesbian.” Troy laughs, waggling his eyebrow at me. I give him the finger.

“It was a peck.” I defend.

We all take turns singing on stage. I messaged the roadies where we were and soon they come join us and I explain to the guys that I invited them. If we have all this space, they deserve a night out with us.

I do feel sorry for some of the regulars as we are requesting songs like there’s no tomorrow, because everyone knows me, well, the band, is famous, so we do get picked first.

“I have to admit this beats any club any day. We always go to the happening clubs for promoting purposes that I forgot what it’s like to actually just go out and have fun,” Nate says, sitting next to me as I watch Naomi and Troy sing “Summer Loving” from Grease.

“I get it. I know that because you are famous, you are limited when it comes to doing the normal stuff. Why do you think I want to wear the mask? I want my life to be normal once it all ends.” I glide my fingers over the lace mask.

“You are lucky. You get to go back to doing whatever you want, no one watching you, waiting for you to mess up, or who you will end up being with next.”

I look at my hands in my lap and then I feel his fingers entwine with mine.

“I was just talking in general. I just feel my life is always under the microscope.”

“But you have people who love your music, love your voice. You are doing something that people can only dream of. Do you remember how desperately you all wanted to make it big time? Not having to live from paycheck to paycheck. You can quit tomorrow and you will still live comfortably.”

“I know I shouldn’t complain, but I guess it’s not simple when things are taken away, then you start to miss it. If I could go to McDonald’s without worry I will be mauled by fans I would.”

I don’t mean to, but I giggle.

“I am going to make it my mission to get you to McDonald’s the next time I see one.”

He chuckles shaking his head.

“I get it, though. At least you are leaving your name in the world. Your music will always exist, even after we all leave this world. Your music, your words will be imprinted.”

His eyes stay focused on mine, looking intensely at me before I look away.

“Why did it take this long for me to actually see you, to really see you?”

I shrug. “I guess you saw me, but you never really did see the whole me. I crushed on you since the first day I saw you. When I heard you sing, I fell so deep. I looked forward to when you were drunk as that was the only time you actually talked to me. When you were nice. I liked looking after you.” I give him a weak smile.

“I thought I dreamed you up. Well, a version of you. I just remember seeing this girl with a voice that gutted me. I didn’t know she was you. I used to look in your eyes and I swear I thought it was you, but as I never heard you sing, I thought if you could sing like that, you would have sung to the world by now.”

“Tegan didn’t like me singing. I know she felt insecure, thinking I would take the one thing she loved away.”