Behind the Courtesan(40)

“I didn’t want to put you in this position. I didn’t want to taint you or the babe with my presence, but he’s my brother. I could no more deny him than my next breath.”

“You twist my words. It’s not that I didn’t want you to come. I did want to meet you. I just didn’t think you actually would.”

Sophie was about to reply when another contraction gripped her sister-in-law. They were getting closer, but still no baby. Only blood. With every contraction more trickled out to stain the sheet. “Violet, is there supposed to be blood?” She hadn’t wanted to ask but she was ill equipped for any of this.

Violet nodded but didn’t shed any light. Instead, she went on. “Why did you come?”

“I had to. Matthew asked.”

“You didn’t have to. Please, be honest with me. From one woman to another, why did you come?”

Sophie’s hands rested against her own stomach as her heart skipped a beat. “I was pregnant.”

“Was?”

“I lost the baby. I couldn’t face another party, another ball, another man.”

“I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something?”

Another contraction passed before Sophie answered. “It was for the best. A woman like me has no business raising a child.”

“A woman like you?”

“A courtesan. A harlot. A common prostitute.”

“There is nothing common about you. You did what you had to to succeed. I see that now. That makes you unique and cunning, not common.”

Sophie could almost believe Violet respected her, the decisions she’d made. Almost. “You are kind, Violet, but we both know the truth. It’s why you wouldn’t have me in your home.”

“You’re right and that is my shame to bear. I didn’t want a courtesan in my home, around my baby. I am truly sorry for that.”

“Thank you, Violet.”

She’d been wrong about so much. About life in the country and about being accepted somewhere where people did know her name. Could she have been so wrong about Blake too? She doubted it, since he was the one who had started so many of their fights. Perhaps they were both too stubborn to see what was in each one’s way? If she could change her perceptions of him, then perhaps she could change his perception of her?

“Oh, God, oh God, oh God.” Violet’s moans filled the air along with her blasphemy and Sophie had no more time to think about Blake or his thick head.

“Is it coming?” Sophie asked. “Is this it?”

Violet nodded and made the strangest sounds. Sounds Sophie would never in all her days forget.

She held the toweling for what felt like forever until finally a fuzzy head appeared. “Oh, I can see it, I can see the baby’s head.”

“What... What color is...his head?”

Through all the muck in the hair and on his skin, it took a few seconds to see but eventually she replied, “Pink. His head is pink.”

Only ten minutes later and Sophie held the baby in her hands, staring at her red face as she screamed her little lungs out. “It’s a girl, Violet. A beautiful baby girl.”

Violet held her arms out and Sophie laid the baby against her chest. Her eyes welled and a tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at her niece in awe.

“Thank you. Thank you for being here for me, with me.”

Sophie nodded but couldn’t say a word. The lump in her throat had grown so big, she feared it would choke her.

So many things were different here, where strong women gave birth on their kitchen tables. A city woman, noble or not, would have screamed for a doctor and probably held their legs closed until one arrived.

As her hands went to her stomach again, Sophie thought about the baby she had lost. Would she have had the strength to deliver a baby in the midst of a storm? If she was the country woman she was meant to be, would she have been able to carry the baby all the way rather than lose it early? So many thoughts went through her mind, it was impossible to pin one down and concentrate on it.

“There is another baby, Sophie.”

Sophie shook her head. “Not for me. I won’t do it. I’ll not bring a child into a world where his mother is with a different man every other season. I won’t do it, I can’t.”

“No, I mean there is another baby to come.”

Sophie snapped her gaze to Violet’s and ran to take the baby from her. She put the girl on the floor on a mass of linens and covered her with a soft woolen blanket.

“How do you know?” Sophie asked.

“I can feel another. He still kicks.”

The next thirty minutes were filled with Violet’s screams, this baby so much harder to bear, and the occasional roll of thunder. When Sophie thought perhaps Violet had been wrong, that something had gone wrong, another head appeared.

“What color?” Violet asked, her barely there voice coming out in exhausted huffs.

“Not pink. I think, almost blue. Violet, you have to push, you have to push now.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to. Please, please push.”

She would not lose this baby. “Violet, push,” she yelled.

One more contraction, one more almighty push and the body fell into her hands. Sophie didn’t have to ask what to do now. She’d seen this with sheep in the years before she’d left the country. It all came flooding back as fast as the river had taken the bridge.

“He’s not crying,” Violet said, her voice shaky. “Why isn’t he crying?”

“Give me a moment.” Sophie gently placed the baby on the table between Violet’s legs and placed her fingers around his little neck. Once she had the long, bloody cord away from his throat, she cleared the muck from his mouth and breathed into it with short puffs. She turned him over in her hands and patted firmly between his tiny shoulder blades, once, twice, the third time even harder.

With a little splutter, a short breath and an almighty wail, he clenched his fists and screamed his complaints long and loud, his skin turning three shades of pink.

Sophie fell to her knees on the floor, tears now flowing unheeded down her face to drip on the crying infant she clutched to her chest. “Looks like we are both stronger than we thought, little one.”

* * *

“Any sign?” Blake roared to be heard over the rushing river.

Matthew shook his head and cupped his hands around his mouth. “We have to go back. We’ll never find her in this.”

“I’m not leaving her out here.”

“You’ll kill yourself looking,” Daemon said as he pulled his horse to a stop in the mud.

Blake ignored the freezing sting of the rain as it pelted his head and face. He should kill himself looking for her. It was his fault that she’d left. He could have made her welcome. He could have ignored her own barbs and acted the gentleman he knew was in him somewhere. It was all his fault.

He looked Matthew in the eye, the dark making it difficult to read his friend’s gaze, but he knew it would mirror the anguish he felt. “I can’t lose her again.”

“I know, but we can’t hope to find her in this. We’ll have to wait till morning.”

“We did that last time and we lost her.” At the time he’d thought he’d lost her forever.

“We won’t lose her this time, Blake. She’s a big girl and she’s strong. She’ll probably be up a tree waiting out the storm and wondering why she went out in it in the first place.”

Blake shook his head, droplets spraying back into the still falling rain. “I can’t lose her again,” he repeated, but more to himself and in complete defeat. Matthew was right. If they hadn’t found her the first time she’d fled on a cool, clear night, then they wouldn’t find her in the middle of all this either.

She was a strong woman. She was too clever for her own good. His heart sank. When they did find her, and they would, she would be even angrier with him. He was sure of it. He’d had trouble forgiving her for what she’d done to him fourteen years ago, but the tables had turned. Everything was different now.

He only hoped she found it in her heart to forgive him for being a fool.

* * *

Violet was the picture of radiance as she sighed and settled farther into the mattress, her adoring eyes only leaving one cherubic face to glance to the other.

Sophie still couldn’t believe it. Two babies? Who would have guessed? She suspected Violet had. “Why did you never tell Matthew that there were two babies?”

“I wasn’t certain. It was only a feeling I had and he would have only fussed more.”

“He may not have left your side if he’d known.”

Violet half groaned, half laughed. “Thank the Lord I didn’t mention it, then.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle, but the laugh soon turned into a yawn.