Behind the Courtesan(39)

Just as she got to the kitchen, the back door opened and Violet hurried in, one small hand supporting her overly large stomach.

“Violet?”

“What are you doing here?” The pail of water Violet held in her other hand crashed to the floor in a bid to outdo the noise of the thunder that followed.

Sophie stepped back from the obviously distressed woman. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come in, I know, but you didn’t answer the door, and I...I...” She was out of excuses. “I’ll leave, I’m so sorry to have entered your home.”

“That’s not what I—” Violet stopped talking mid-sentence, leaned over her belly and let out the loudest, longest moan Sophie had ever heard.

Oh good God, no. Not now. “Is the baby coming?”

“I think so, yes...no. I don’t know, but something isn’t right.”

“Matthew didn’t come back?”

Violet shook her head, her face pale, drawn, in pain and terrified.

“No matter how you feel about me, I can’t leave you like this.” She couldn’t tell her that unless Matthew could swim a flooded river, then he wouldn’t be home any time soon.

“What are you talking about?”

Sophie bit her lip. Honesty? It was probably time for it. “I am a courtesan and I don’t belong in your very pretty home.”

“I never said that. Well, not those exact words.”

Before she could reply, another contraction ripped through her sister-in-law and Violet bent again. This time her knees gave out. Sophie only just caught her by the shoulders before she would have hit the rough floor.

“How long have you been like this?”

“Since last evening.”

With slow, sure steps, Sophie managed to herd Violet back into the sitting room where she lowered her onto a chair. “How could Matthew have left you?”

“He didn’t know. First babies always take so long and I didn’t want him to fuss.”

And he would have been home well before dark if Sophie hadn’t dragged him into her mess. Perhaps Blake wasn’t the only one who needed to think before they spoke.

“Please, don’t leave me. I need you.”

She met the pleading eyes of a woman who didn’t care who was in the room as long as she wasn’t alone. “I’ve never actually delivered a baby, Violet.” She’d had the opportunity, but always left it to the experts to take care of. What if she did something wrong? She knew the loss of a child and would not be the cause for another woman to feel it too.

“I have. I’ve—” Another scream filled the air and wound its way into Sophie’s heart.

Once the worst of the pain had passed and Violet caught her breath again, she said, “I’ve attended births. You only have to do what I tell you and we’ll both be fine.”

There was that word again. Fine. She sure hoped so. “What do I do first?”

“Hot water and linens.”

“That’s it? Nothing else?”

“We don’t have time for anything else...” The last word drew out as Violet’s scream turned to a moan.

Sophie took her hand and let her squeeze until the worst had once again passed. It took only minutes to gather the supplies Violet told her to get, linens from the chest upstairs and hot water from a kettle on the corner of the stove, but the time that passed felt like years. Silently she prayed to whoever listened that this birth would be uncomplicated and easy for her sister-in-law. She prayed for a miracle.





Chapter Nineteen



Blake had had more than enough of the rain. He’d had enough of Daemon’s smug, superior grins of victory and he’d definitely had enough of Matthew’s scowls. Admitting that he’d slept with his best friend’s sister wasn’t the smartest move. Not that any of his actions in the previous week could boast of intelligence or even a glimmer of cleverness.

The villagers showed the illusion of happiness and prosperity, but the truth was unattractive. He’d known it all along, but he didn’t want to believe it anymore now than he had two weeks, a year, even ten years ago. Sometimes the lies helped you sleep at night, helped you put one foot in front of the other. What other choice did they have?

Just like Sophie.

But perhaps in his anger at the world, at his parents and at Sophie, maybe he’d missed the point of everything. His mother had run to save her life and he’d thought her selfish when he looked back at his abandonment. Rather the truth was that she was ill and scared for her life and couldn’t drag her child into the unknown with her. His father had never claimed him. Even on his deathbed and before, the old duke had tried to destroy his supposedly illegitimate child. Probably because the truth could do so much more damage than their lies ever could.

Then there was Sophie. Her betrayal had hurt more than the others because he believed her to be his salvation. Life with her would have brightened every dark day that had gone before. Or maybe that was the ultimate lie.

They could have been happy or they could have been miserable. Who knows? But he had to go to her. He had to find her and have it out with her once and for all. She had to know what was in his mind before he lost his head again. Words always seemed to come out wrong when she raised his temper to a boiling point. He used to be rational.

Perhaps he could gag her so she couldn’t argue? It was a warming thought as he climbed the stairs to her room.

He knocked lightly on the door. If she was still furious with him, he would have to tread very carefully. “Sophie?” he called.

No answer.

“Please don’t do this. I want to speak to you, apologize, explain what happened.”

Still no answer.

Blake’s anger began to grow and he took a deep calming breath before grabbing hold of the handle and throwing the door wide.

His next words fell out in a rush. “I know you don’t want to see me but I have to explain. There are things you need to understa—” She wasn’t there.

Cursing beneath his breath, he left the room and went back down the stairs. Maybe she was in the barn? She seemed to enjoy it there. As he stomped through the tap to the kitchen, Matthew called out to him, breathless and obviously worried.

“Sophie is gone. We found your horse and her carriage out by the bridge, but she wasn’t there.”

“Did you look for her? She probably went to find you. Did you check your house?”

Matthew shook his head. “The bridge is gone, I couldn’t get across.”

Blake didn’t have to be a mind reader to know the possibilities Matthew considered.

Sophie could have been on the bridge when it washed away. She could have got there too late and done something reckless—she was certainly angry enough when she left—like swim across. “She wouldn’t do that, would she? She wouldn’t try to cross the river if the bridge was out.”

“She could be anywhere,” Matthew said. “She may have tried to go around, but why would she do that on foot? She knows the way back to London but we don’t know which way she went all those years ago. And the landscape has changed around here. With all the flooding and shifting soil, she could be in real danger.”

Damn Charles and his tightfistedness. If only the cur had fixed the bridge.

You could have fixed it.

And damn his own conscience too!

“You take the east and I’ll take the west and we’ll circle back. If you find a safe place to cross, do it and check your place. We have to hope she made it across the river or is searching for a way over somewhere else.”

“The closest crossing is miles away and it’s getting dark.”

Blake sighed. “Then we better hope to find her quickly.”

Within minutes the pair, along with Daemon, were stocked with the essentials for a search and set out into the blinding rain. Blake couldn’t help but remember the other time they’d searched in the dark for a girl who didn’t want to be found.

He only hoped in this instance they were more successful. Sophie would not be so lucky a second time around.

* * *

“Do you believe things happen for a reason?” Violet asked, her face pale as sweat dripped from her brow.

Sophie shook her head. “Not really. Do you think this happened for a reason? That I was out here because Matthew was not?” No need to explain that Matthew wasn’t there because of her.

“No, I mean that you are here at all.”

“As in alive?” Sophie asked. Were they to get philosophical at a time when Violet wore nothing more than a nightshirt and Sophie’s hands were covered in her blood? There was so much blood.

Violet braced for yet another contraction, a long groan filled the air to drown out the pattering of rain on the roof. Once the worst was over, she continued, “No, I mean here, in this house, in this moment. When Matthew wrote you, you didn’t reply. We thought you refused to come.”