Before I Let You Go(47)

I woke up before dawn on her birthday and found Lexie sitting on the edge of my bed.

“What’s going on?” I asked her. I was groggy, and while I noticed immediately that she looked different, it took me a while to realize why. “Where did you get pants from?”

“I stole them from Robert,” she whispered, and she lifted her shirt to reveal a belt fashioned out of twine. “You have no idea how amazing it feels.”

I was amused by this odd turn of events, until I realized how serious Lexie’s behavior actually was. Robert would lose his mind when he saw her—this was the kind of stunt I’d pull, not Lexie. I sat up and stared at her. The pace of my thoughts slowed to a standstill.

Something bad was about to happen.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“Annie . . . I’m leaving today.”

“Leaving?”

“I’m going to go. Now.”

“You can’t leave me, Lexie. You can’t leave me alone here.” I started to cry, and she took my hands in hers and she squeezed hard.

“I can’t stay here, Annie—I have to get out and find a way to go to college. It’s for you, too. By the time you’re sixteen and you can leave, I’ll have a house and a job, and I’ll be able to take care of you.”

I begged her not to, but Lexie left that day.

I was never sure why she didn’t warn me . . . maybe she assumed that I already knew she was planning to leave. If she did, she might have overestimated my intelligence, because I never saw it coming.





17


LEXIE


“You can’t just bail midway through the morning. Do you have any idea how much disruption that caused?”

I figured Oliver was going to be annoyed, but I didn’t expect him to be angry. When I arrive at the clinic, he all but drags me into his office and lets loose.

“My sister was taken into emergency surgery—” I try to explain, but he cuts me off.

“Were you performing the surgery?”

I know I need to tread lightly, but Oliver’s sarcasm leaves me defensive, and I scowl at him.

“It was a C-section. She needed someone with her.”

“This is the sister who broke into the meds room two years ago, right?” I look away, and Oliver sighs. “So what you’re saying is, two years later, your boundaries with her are no better than they were.”

This hits a sore spot, and I wince but then I blurt, “I need to take some time off. She’s going into rehab and she has a newborn. She needs me to help care for it, or it’ll go into the foster system.”

Oliver stares at me incredulously for a moment, then he sighs heavily and rubs his forehead.

“Jesus, Lexie. Are you seriously going to ask for time off after you pulled that shit this morning?”

“There’s no one else, Olly.” I’m pleading now, and I should be embarrassed, but all I can think of is Annie and the baby and that awful moment this morning when I dismissed her chosen name. I can’t let my sister down again. I won’t. “I have to do this.”

“I’m not going to grant the leave, and I’m doing it for your own good.”

“But—”

“Don’t but me, Lexie. If you really need time off to babysit your sister, resign.”

That last word hangs in the air between us—a threat that I’m not sure Oliver is entirely serious about. The look I give him is half pleading, half incredulous.

“Don’t do this, Olly.”

He shakes his head—he’s warming to the idea himself, I can tell by the gleam in his eyes when he leans back in his chair and surveys me. Oliver Winton is actually the best boss I’ve ever had—and I’ve learned so much from him in the last three years. But I’m well aware that I need him more than he needs me. I’m sure he likes me, though, and we do work well together. Surely he won’t make me leave.

Surely.

Hopefully.

“I can’t have an unreliable physician on the team,” he says. “Your patients need to be your priority. If they aren’t, then you should leave.”

“I haven’t taken a sick or a personal day in two years.” I’m getting defensive again, and my words are sharp. “These are exceptional circumstances. I’m asking for just a few weeks to figure all of this out—the baby will be in the NICU for some time. After that, I need to get her settled in at my place. Then it will be business as usual, I give you my word.”

“No, then your sister will come out of rehab and you’ll be taking every second day off to go searching under all of the bridges in town to see if she’s overdosed.”

“How dare you—” I gasp, but he cuts me off with an impatient wave of his hand.

“I’m trying to help you. You know what codependency is, right? You and your sister are a textbook case. You’ll let her waltz in and out of your life and blow it up whenever it suits her forever if someone doesn’t force you to reevaluate things. I don’t want you to go, Lexie—the patients love you, and you’re an excellent physician. But . . . I can hire another excellent physician within a few hours of interviews. And I’d be damned unlucky to get another one with a family life that’s as much of a disaster as yours.”