Before I Let You Go(115)

Robert is in prison now, and in a roundabout way, you did that. It happened too late for you to see it, but your story brought justice to those other girls and even freedom to Mom—who is finally out from under his shadow . . . she has finally found her own voice.

Those words that you gifted me changed the world for us. I wish with every part of my heart that you were here to see it.

I love you, baby sister. Be at peace, and be free,

Lexie.





A Note from the Author


I was blessed to grow up in a large, loud family bursting with aunts and uncles of many different shapes, sizes and personalities. They played an important role in my childhood, each one of them bringing some different, special aspect to my life. My father’s brother, my uncle Greg, was much younger than the others—and he was different. He was less a parental figure, more a celebrity to me in some way I couldn’t really understand at the time. Uncle Greg told the most amazing stories—his life seemed so full of drama and intrigue and adventure that I was constantly in awe of him.

It took me a very long time to realize that there was a dark side to my uncle. When I was in my early teens, he disappeared from my life when an addiction completely overtook him. Years passed, but then when my grandmother was dying, my father reconciled briefly with Uncle Greg. Less than a week later, before I could have the reunion with him that I’d dreamed of for years, Uncle Greg died of an overdose.

I often get asked if aspects of my books are autobiographical, and the answer is always a firm “no.” But I do love to use my research as a way to understand the issues that bewilder me. For this very reason, I’ve wanted to write about addiction for some time. Annie is not my uncle, but I hope that in reading her story, the love I had for him is evident. Most of all, I hope that her story reminds you that a person with an addiction is not a label or a problem to be solved: the individual is someone’s sibling, someone’s child, someone’s beloved uncle. Addiction is ugly, but its victims each have a story and a life that matters.

When I first read that some US states had made substance abuse in pregnancy a criminal offense, I delved into the issue, simply wanting to understand it. Even after months of research and speaking to advocates in the field, I’m still bewildered by how anyone could think this is an effective way to address any aspect of the issues surrounding substance abuse. The very existence of these laws disregards all advice from medical and women’s rights organizations, and when they are enforced, they are incredibly harmful to the health of women and families.

Prosecuting pregnant women who are battling substance abuse issues achieves little more than to further stigmatize and isolate this marginalized pocket of society. When we discourage these women from accessing medical care and support, a situation that is already difficult becomes heartbreaking. And when mothers who need treatment and support to enable them to parent their children are, instead, prosecuted and even incarcerated, the entire community suffers.

It’s my hope that Annie and Lexie’s situation can raise at least some awareness of the issues around addiction, but also, awareness of what happens to mothers and to children when we deem the symptom of an illness—substance abuse—a criminal offense.

In a compassionate society, there has to be a better way.

Kelly Rimmer





Questions for Book Club Discussion


1. Which of the two sisters did you relate to most, Lexie or Annie? Were there any characters in the story you didn’t like?

2. The story deals extensively with Annie’s addiction and the consequences of it for her personally, as well as for her sister and daughter. Did you feel this was a realistic portrayal?

3. Did the story challenge your perspective on addiction in any way? How do you see things differently?

4. Over the lifetime of her relationship with Annie, Lexie makes countless decisions to try to help her sister. Would you have made the same decisions? Where is the line between supporting and enabling?

5. Do you think addicts are entirely responsible for their addiction? What role, if any, does childhood trauma such as Annie’s play?

6. How did you feel Luke’s role helped or hindered Annie’s recovery? Did you see him as a positive or negative influence?

7. The laws referenced through the novel are enforced in a number of US states. How do you feel about the criminalization of substance abuse in pregnancy? Were you aware of these laws before reading Before I Let You Go?

8. Do you think the author dealt with such a contentious issue in a balanced way?

9. Which scene in Before I Let You Go affected you the most, and why?

10. If you have siblings, did this story make you think about your own relationship with them? What stood out for you in terms of how we deal with family issues?

11. Robert is generally made out to be a violent man, and yet throughout Annie’s adult life he helped try to get her well. How do you reconcile the two sides to his character?

12. Were you satisfied with the ending? Did the story end as you expected or did you envision a different resolution for the sisters? Do you think Annie’s outcome was inevitable?

13. Who would you recommend Before I Let You Go to?





Read on for an extract from Kelly’s breathtaking novel

A Mother’s Confession . . .





Olivia


Most of the time, people try to avoid talking about what happened. Even when their conversational acrobatics fail and the subject arises anyway, they stay within the very narrow subject of warning signs . . . specifically, warning signs that I somehow missed.